The Machine review

THE MACHINE: 

CHAOTIC AND UNEVEN BERT KREISCHER MOVIE DELIVERS ENOUGH LAUGHS! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** ½ out of 4

SCREEN GEMS

Bert Kreischer in The Machine

 

            Comedian Bert Kreischer AKA The Machine (The X Show, Bert the Conqueror) hits the big screen in…The Machine, an action-comedy film from director Peter Atencio (Key & Peele, Keanu) based on Kreischer’s 2016 stand-up routine of the same name. I should make this clear before we start, I have never seen Bert Kreischer’s stand-up before nor do I know anything about him as a comedian or person. 

            But my friend who was watching it with me is a fan of his style of comedy and filled me in on what he’s like. Though, I will still be judging this as a standalone movie since I don’t have any exposure to Kreischer (That came out wrong!). 

            I’m a sucker for movies where actors play fictionalized versions of themselves and often satirize each other and their work with This is the End being among my favorite comedies and I adored last year’s The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent starring Nicolas Cage as himself. Despite knowing practically nothing about the comedian going into this, I was intrigued when I saw the trailer. 

            With that out of the way, how does The Machine hold up? Well, it really depends on what you’re looking for in a comedy like this. If you’re looking for any substance or wit, you’re probably not going to enjoy this movie but if you’re willing to accept the absurdity or have a soft spot for dumb humor, you might have a good time. 

            The film follows Bert who rose to fame as a stand-up comedian known as The Machine and in his signature set he recounts his true experience with Russian mobsters while on a booze-soaked college trip. But when that drunken trip comes back to haunt him 23 years later and he and his estranged father Albert (Mark Hamill-Star Wars franchise, Batman: The Animated Series, Child’s Play (2019)) are kidnapped and sent back to Russia by the mob to atone for something he did, Bert and his father must retrace his younger self’s steps in the midst of a war within a sociopathic crime family while trying to rekindle their often fraught relationship. 

            The film also stars Jimmy Tatro (LifeAccordingToJimmy, 22 Jump Street, Stuber) as Young Bert, Stephanie Kurtzuba (The Good Wife, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Irishman) as LeeAnn, Nikola Đuričko (World War Z) as Igor, and Oleg Taktarov (Bad Boys II, Predators, The Man from Toronto) as Train Igor. 

            Overall, The Machine definitely won’t win everybody over as it is incredibly stupid and ridiculous. But as I mentioned before, if you’re willing to accept that then you’ll probably get some good laughs out of it. 

            While I didn’t find any of it knee-slapping hilarious, I found myself laughing at a good half of the jokes and Kreischer seems to have decent timing in his comedy and is able to at least make the ones that don’t quite stick the landing sound funny. Not only that, but he and Mark Hamill have strong comedic chemistry and I enjoy listening to the banter between the two, they’re probably the most consistently funny thing in the film. 

            It also has a high body-count and some of the deaths during the action scenes get pretty bloody, almost like John Wick except replace Keanu Reeves with an overweight stand-up comedian who takes his shirt off and drinks heavily. However, the gory kills are mostly played for laughs, and they don’t feel out of place within the world the film created.

            This is not a very story-heavy movie and is more focused on getting laughs, it’s a simple premise where a comedian gets kidnapped by the Russian mafia to atone for something he had done in the past and all the crazy shenanigans and blood-soaked carnage that follows, the film gives exactly that and if you were looking for more substance well then, I’m sorry. Still, the narrative and pacing feel very stilted and unfocused at times as the film constantly flashes back to Bert in his college years during various scenes and while some of them work and are genuinely funny, other times they’re distracting and detract from the flow of the story…what little there is! 

            Despite its flaws, it’s hard for me to be super critical at a movie that’s dumb on purpose and clearly here just to entertain. I can’t speak for fans of Bert Kreischer, but I get the feeling this is a faithful representation of his comedic talents, and they’ll probably have a ball with this movie…this “Machine” may be a tad bulky, but it’s functional enough for its target audience…Family Matters reference!