COCAINE BEAR:
NO SUBSTANCE ON EARTH CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THE ABSURDITY AND SHEER CHAOS OF THIS DRUG-ADDICTED BEAR!
By Nico Beland
Movie Review: *** ½ out of 4
UNIVERSAL PICTURES
A f*cking bear does cocaine in Cocaine Bear
In the tradition of outrageous, tongue-in-cheek horror like Snakes on a Plane, Sharknado, and Beast, Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games franchise, Pitch Perfect trilogy, Charlie’s Angels (2019)) unleashes her wild side with Cocaine Bear, the new horror-comedy film directed and produced by Banks loosely based on the true story of a black bear ingesting millions of dollars of lost cocaine in 1985. This marks Banks’ third directing effort after Pitch Perfect 2and the 2019 Charlie’s Angels reboot.
I was onboard with this movie the moment I first read the title and even more so after seeing the trailer before a showing of Violent Night. Granted, I am aware that the actual event was vastly different than how it’s depicted in the film as the bear died after ingesting the cocaine which probably wouldn’t have made for an entertaining movie so best to make it a relentless, cold-hearted killing machine.
When you go into a movie called Cocaine Bear, you pretty much have an idea of what kind of movie you’re getting into. Unless for some odd reason you’re going into it expecting an Oscar movie like Banshees of Inisherin, sorry but no, though both films involve human dismemberment complete with missing fingers.
Seriously though, the film is essentially a sendup of cheesy creature features or movies you’d probably see on TV in the middle of the night on the Syfy channel. But instead of snakes set loose on a plane, a Sharknado attack, or Mega Piranha, it’s a violent, drug-addicted bear.
It’s a movie that’s banking on its title, which honestly is an ingenious way to get people into the theater and for my money (That I didn’t need because I went to see it for free), it deserves to sell itself on the title alone because I had a blast. I can’t guarantee a masterpiece and your enjoyment of this film will depend on your tolerance of extremely absurd plots and the movie just runs with it, silly dialogue, and stock characters with some standout performances, but this is definitely a fun one to turn your brain off for and enjoy the ride.
Set in 1985 after a drug smuggler drops a shipment of cocaine out of his plane, an American black bear finds a stash of the cocaine in the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest, eats it, and becomes highly aggressive, violent, and practically indestructible thus the bear goes on a murderous rampage in the forest. Meanwhile, a fixer named Daveed (O’Shea Jackson Jr.-Straight Outta Compton, Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019), Just Mercy) and his friend Eddie (Alden Ehrenreich-Supernatural, Hail, Caesar!, Solo: A Star Wars Story) are sent to the forest to retrieve the remaining cocaine for a shady drug kingpin known as Syd White (The late Ray Liotta-Goodfellas, Cop Land, The Irishman), a nurse and mother named Sari (Keri Russell-Felicity, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Antlers) searches for her children who have gone missing in the forest, and a local detective named Bob (Isiah Whitlock Jr.-Chi-Raq, BlacKkKlansman, Da 5 Bloods) arrives to collect the cocaine all the while a rogue bear high off its mind slaughters everything in its path.
The film also stars Christian Convey (Supernatural, Descendants 3, Sweet Tooth) as Henry, Brooklynn Prince (The Florida Project, The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, The Angry Birds Movie 2) as Dee Dee, Margo Martindale (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Orphan, Instant Family) as Ranger Liz, Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Ordinary Sinner, Untraceable, Modern Family) as Peter, Kristofer Hivju (Game of Thrones, The Fate of the Furious, Downhill) and Hannah Hoekstra (Manslaughter, The Fury, Charlie’s Angels (2019)) as Olaf and Elsa (No relation), and Matthew Rhys (Titus, Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood) as Andrew C. Thornton II.
Overall, Cocaine Bear is a wildly entertaining adrenaline (No pun intended) rush that doesn’t take itself seriously and embraces the absurdity of its premise. As a director, Banks is pretty hit-or-miss though I enjoyed Pitch Perfect 2 and Charlie’s Angels just enough, but I can say with much enthusiasm that this is my favorite film of hers (as director).
It isn’t trying to be this important “Save the Bears” movie with a forced environmental message or bullsh*t like that. Cocaine Bear is just a fun, ridiculous monster movie that’s here to entertain and give the viewers a good time at the movies, judging by the audience I was with.
There isn’t much I can say about the plot because it is very simple, but I feel that was the intention as an excuse for a lot of crazy scenarios and inventive death scenes. With that said, there is enough character development between the protagonists to keep you invested.
O’Shea Jackson Jr. and Alden Ehrenreich are quite funny together and have a ton of great banter throughout the film as a couple of dealers. They even sell the occasional somber moments with Ehrenreich’s character going through a difficult break-up while Jackson Jr. helps him during this rough time even if his methods aren’t exactly ideal (Getting high).
Other standouts include Keri Russell as this mother trying to find her children who wandered off into the forest while the bear is on the loose who by the end turns into this badass action heroine. Also, the children played by Christian Convey and Brooklynn Prince whose performances were very reminiscent of the kids from the 2019 comedy, Good Boys in terms of their dialogue and comedic timing, they play the roles quite well.
The kills are absolutely ridiculous and often grisly (I was about to make a pun there, but I didn’t because that’d be stupid) with the bear brutally devouring, ripping apart, and disemboweling people with bloody aftermaths with one of the best sequences being a chase between the bear, an ambulance, and a wounded park ranger in the back. Besides being relentlessly violent, the bear sequences are very well-shot and keep the adrenaline going until the final outcome.
If I had some issues with the film, it’s some of the editing in certain scenes particularly how flashbacks are integrated into it. They don’t ruin the movie and some of them are essential to the story, but sometimes it’ll just cut to a random flashback just to remind the audience about a character from earlier and then jump right back to the main plot, kind of like an awkward Family Guy cutaway gag.
Cocaine Bear is the type of snow-covered, trashy B-movie chaos that fans of silly creature features will be looking for. It’s the bear-themed horror movie that succeeds where Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey failed…though it could have used some Nicolas Cage in a bear suit…just saying! Any questions?
