Aladdin review

ALADDIN:

LIVE-ACTION DISNEY REMAKE LACKS THE ORIGINAL’S MAGIC!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** out of 4

Revisited Score: ** 1/2 out of 4

DISNEY

(From left to right) Rajah, Princess Jasmine, Abu, Aladdin, Genie, Jafar, and Iago in Aladdin (2019)

            The tale of the friendship between a street rat and an all-powerful genie comes to life in Aladdin, the latest of Disney’s live-action remakes and retelling of the 1992 animated classic of the same name. Aladdin has always been one of my favorite Disney films growing up with its colorful and vibrant animation, blend of edge-or-your-seat adventure and a sweet love story, unforgettable songs and musical numbers, and of course the irreplaceable Robin Williams as the voice of the fourth-wall breaking, pop-culture referencing Genie, alongside The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and The Lion King it’s about as perfect an animated Disney film can get.

            Naturally, because Disney has run of ideas for live-action films aside from remaking their animated movies but erasing the outlines, it was only a matter of time before Aladdin would get its turn. I guess it makes sense since the original was a huge hit when it came out in 1992 and both kids and adults continue to watch it on home media to this very day.

            Now we have this live-action version of Aladdin directed by Guy Ritchie (Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Sherlock Holmes 1 and 2) and featuring Will Smith (Independence Day, Men in Black trilogy, The Pursuit of Happyness) as the Genie. For the most part I’ve been completely indifferent to these live-action Disney remakes, I don’t love them, but I don’t hate them either and some are better than others.

While Alice in Wonderland (2010), Maleficent, and Dumbo (2019) are considered weaker attempts, I never hugely disliked a live-action Disney remake…*sigh* until now. Aladdin (2019) while visually impressive and most of the actors are giving it their all, never captures the same magic and kinetic energy as its animated predecessor and looks more like a big-budget stage show than an actual movie…in fact I saw the stage musical version of Aladdin at Disney California Adventure a while back and it was still more lively than this movie. 

            The film takes place in the kingdom of Agrabah where a humble street rat named Aladdin (Mena Massoud-Open Heart, Jack Ryan, Run This Town) meets the beautiful but feisty Princess Jasmine (Naomi Scott-Terra Nova, Power Rangers (2017), Charlie’s Angels (2019)) and immediately fall in love with each other. However, the catch is Jasmine can only marry a prince and as kind-hearted as he is, Aladdin is definitely no prince. 

            Meanwhile, Jafar (Marwan Kenzari-Wolf, Murder on the Orient Express (2017), The Angel) the nefarious sorcerer and royal vizier of Agrabah alongside his parrot Iago (voiced by Alan Tudyk-Wreck-It Ralph/Ralph Breaks the Internet, Frozen, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) is sick of being “second best” to The Sultan (Navid Negahban-Brothers, American Sniper, 12 Strong) and recruits Aladdin and his pet monkey Abu (voice reprised by Frank Welker) to venture into the Cave of Wonders and bring him the Magic Lamp that lies within.

            Aladdin indeed finds the lamp and frees and befriends the all-powerful Genie (Smith) as well as a Magic Carpet and is given three wishes. Since Jasmine can only marry a prince, Aladdin wishes to become a prince to win her heart and the Genie transforms him into Prince Ali of Ababwa. 

            One Magic Carpet ride later through “A Whole New World” Aladdin’s wish seems to be paying off, but Jafar has sinister plans to steal the lamp and use the Genie’s power to rule over Agrabah. It’s up to Aladdin to stop Jafar, save the kingdom, and learn the important lesson that maybe it’s what’s on the inside that matters to Jasmine rather than royal power. 

            The film also stars Nasim Pedrad (Saturday Night Live, New Girl, Despicable Me 2) as Dalia, Billy Magnussen (Into the Woods, Ingrid Goes West, Game Night) as Prince Anders, and Numan Acar (Rosewater, 12 Strong, Spider-Man: Far From Home) as Hakim.

            Overall, Aladdin (2019) is a perfect example of a live-action Disney remake that may have a basic understanding of its source material but not the soul or passion of its predecessor. It isn’t the worst thing Disney ever made but it feels like they took the script of the original Aladdin and tried to “Trim the Fat” so they could do a paint by numbers remake in live-action. 

            This version skips over some key scenes from the original and switches things around in its story, the film starts with Jasmine hiding in the marketplace and meeting Aladdin for no reason outside of Disney executives assuming everyone in the theater has seen the original, so we don’t need to establish anything, also Jasmine is now escaping from the guards with Aladdin during the One Jump Ahead number. What happened to the conversation between Jasmine and the Sultan in the garden? Why does the law that she must be married to a prince feel like a much bigger deal in the animated version than in this? I swear, they wait until the very end of the movie to even mention it.

            Most of the Alan Menken and Tim Rice songs are performed well in the movie except for a MAJOR butchering of the Prince Ali sequence. Going back to the original, Prince Ali was a big, energetic spectacle of a musical number with vibrant colors and imagination around leaping off the screen similar to Step in Time from Mary Poppins, this one however is a less than impressive street parade with Mena Massoud and Will Smith waving and looking cool, talk about a serious misfire Disney, don’t do this to Circle of Life in The Lion King I beg you.

            What keeps Aladdin (2019) from being a disastrous trainwreck are the performances by Mena Massoud and Naomi Scott as Aladdin and Jasmine. Massoud eerily looks and sounds exactly like the animated Aladdin and unlike the original film where the Genie was technically the star, Naomi Scott’s portrayal of Jasmine is what truly shines in this movie, she passionately captures the sass and spunk of the original while expanding her character a little further, she’s no Linda Larkin but Scott is a great Jasmine in her own way.

            Jafar and the Genie on the other hand are horribly miscast, the animated Jafar had this threatening presence to him in his appearance and voice. Nothing against the actor portraying him but the live-action Jafar isn’t just bad casting but it’s The Last Airbender Fire Lord bad, from the costume to lacking the deep voice, this isn’t Jafar this is some guy cosplaying as Jafar.

            I give Will Smith’s Genie credit that while he’s far from being a replacement for Robin Williams, he’s clearly trying his best to do his own take on the character. Still, as much as I love Will Smith he doesn’t have the same energy or improv experience as Williams and when I see him doing celebrity impressions or accents I don’t see the people he’s impersonating, I see Will Smith being Will Smith, and painting his face blue is pretty nightmare-fueled. 

            Aladdin (2019) may entertain your kids for two hours but compared to its far-superior animated predecessor, there is very little in this retelling for adults or people nostalgic for the original. A Whole New World this ain’t, sorry Disney better luck next time with The Lion King. 

Brightburn review

BRIGHTBURN:

SUPERHERO HORROR FLICK IS CREEPY BUT FLAWED!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

SCREEN GEMS AND STAGE 6 FILMS

Something is very wrong with Brandon Breyer in Brightburn

            A twelve-year-old boy discovers he has mysterious powers and chooses NOT to become a hero to mankind in Brightburn, a superhero horror movie produced by James Gunn (Scooby-Doo 1 and 2, Super, Guardians of the Galaxy 1 and 2) and directed by David Yarovesky in his directorial debut. The moment I first saw the trailer for this movie I got really excited, a superhero origin story reminiscent of Superman but with one major difference, what if he decided not to use his powers for good and to benefit mankind?

            We’ve had superhero movies with creepy and supernatural elements before like Blade, the Shyamalan Eastrail 177 trilogy, and Venom, but never a full-on superhero horror movie. In fact, we were supposed to have a horror movie installment of Fox and Marvel’s X-Men franchise called The New Mutants that was pushed for release dates in 2018 and 2019 but it’s been in development hell with countless delays.

            Luckily, James Gunn who had previously won the superhero movie audience over with the Guardians of the Galaxy movies brings a different type of superhero origin story to the screen…and I do mean different. Clearly, he can bring the exact same passion and energy to this horror take on the genre, right? Kind of.

            Brightburn delivers exactly what it promises, a superhero horror movie that follows in the footsteps of traditional comic book movies while still being its own unique entity. But as much as I adore the concept of the film, it doesn’t really explore all the possibilities of its premise.

            The film follows Tori (Elizabeth Banks-Spider-Man trilogy, The Hunger Games franchise, Power Rangers (2017)) and Kyle Breyer (David Denman-Big Fish, The Office, Logan Lucky), a farm couple in Brightburn, Kansas trying to have a child but failed to conceive. One night in 2006 a meteor falls from the sky near their farm containing a baby, so they decide to take him in as their son and names him Brandon (Newcomer, Jackson A. Dunn).

            Flash-forward to the present day and Brandon, now a twelve-year-old boy discovers he has extraordinary powers such as super-strength, super-agility, flight, and heat-vision. Yeah, sounds like the origin of Superman, doesn’t it? Get this.

            After discovering he is not of this world and being bullied at school, Brandon decides how he is going to use his superpowers. And he chooses…the path superheroes DON’T take and instead of using them to save the world and benefit mankind, Brandon becomes a superpowered killing machine bent on the destruction of the Earth. 

            Believing there is still some good in him, Tori must find a way to stop Brandon’s wrath and get her son back before he “Takes the World”. 

            The film also stars Matt Jones (Breaking Bad, Mom, Cooties) as Noah McNichol, Meredith Hagner (Men at Work, Search Party, Ingrid Goes West) as Merilee McNichol, Steve Agee (The Sarah Silverman Program, Super, Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2) as EJ, Becky Wahlstrom (Star Trek: Enterprise, Mad Men, NCIS) as Erica, Stephen Blackehart (Rush Hour, Guardians of the Galaxy 1 and 2, Annabelle Comes Home) as Travis, Gregory Ann Williams (Baywatch, Necessary Roughness, Terminator: Genisys) as Chief Deputy Deever, and Michael Rooker (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, The Walking Dead, Guardians of the Galaxy 1 and 2) as The Big T.

            Overall, Brightburn is a devilishly fun take on the superhero movie genre and answers the question, what if a superhero chooses the other path, and what the outcome would be? You don’t see this explored that often in other superhero movies and I’ll go on record and say if Venom took a similar approach it would have been a much stronger movie…and unlike Venom go all out with a hard R rating. 

            While it doesn’t constantly flaunt its R-rated violence like Deadpool, Kick-Ass, or Logan, there is enough blood and slaughtering in Brightburn to warrant its rating. Brandon breaking a classmate’s arm in close-up, picking up and dropping somebody’s car onto the road and the steering wheel snapping the driver’s jaw, and a pretty damn unsettling scene involving a shard of glass and an eyeball, I actually got squeamish in the theater when it came up, I’m not kidding.

            Even with all the violence and killing happening, the film remembers to keep its focus on the main characters. Despite all the terrible things Brandon is doing, you understand what his parents are going through and why they wouldn’t jump right into killing him, after all he’s still their son. 

            The acting is solid with the two standout performances being Elizabeth Banks as the mother and Jackson A. Dunn as Brandon. Banks portrays Tori as a mother who just wants to have a child and has a difficult time coming to grips with the fact her son is an evil entity from another world but she believes the son she loves is still in there and is supportive of him even after he’s done horrific things, it doesn’t mean she is also a villain but it’s the act of a caring mother and Banks portrays her character very well.

            Dunn as Brandon on the other hand is legitimately terrifying and a rare instance where a child performance actually gave me the chills. One minute he’s just a normal kid playing video games, getting good grades in school, and learning about puberty, the next he’s breaking a woman’s neck in a diner, I kept thinking back to Haley Joel Osment’s performance from Steven Spielberg’s A.I. where he shifts back and forth from childlike innocence to kinda creepy, I’m hoping Dunn goes places in his career.

            There are some narrative issues with Brightburn mainly regarding Brandon’s origin, as previously mentioned I love the film’s story, but I felt there were some key details left out of the finished script that could have been explored. We never see where Brandon came from nor do we really find out why he’s doing these evil things. 

            As much as I dislike sequel-baiting I actually would have been okay if they teased Brandon’s home world at the end of the movie. The lack of detail doesn’t ruin the movie, but it would have been nice to get a little more of a backstory but still keep things a mystery.

            If you want something different in the superhero genre, Brightburn is the film for you, just don’t expect any world saving or fighting for justice. You’ll pretty much get the complete opposite and you know what? I’m okay with that. 

John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum review

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3: PARABELLUM:

WICK’S THIRD OUTING IS PURE ACTION MOVIE ADRENALINE! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** ½ out of 4

LIONSGATE

Keanu Reeves is back in John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum

            Keanu Reeves (Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Speed, The Matrix trilogy) returns as former assassin John Wick in John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum, the latest installment of the critically and commercially successful John Wick film series. Before we dig into the new film, allow me to take a moment and recap my brief history with the previous installments…and I mean brief. 

Confession time, I sadly did not see the original John Wick movie from 2014 nor its 2017 follow-up, John Wick: Chapter 2 when they came out in theaters. I recall John Wick being released the exact same weekend as Birdman and the sequel coming out the same day as The Lego Batman Movie, so unfortunately I was pretty busy with other movies at the time which is why I’ve never reviewed a John Wick movie before and as far as I’m concerned I made a big mistake. 

While I missed them theatrically, I watched both movies back to back in one night when they came out on home media after many people requested that I watch them. Yep, all those recommendations were completely valid, these are terrific action movies and the start of a comeback career for Keanu Reeves after several unfortunate misfires 

I can almost describe these movies as the Mad Max: Fury Road of neo-noir action films with consistently well-choreographed and phenomenally over-the-top action sequences all throughout the movies but still allowing breathing time to establish its characters and environments in a surprisingly intelligent way. And all this started with a movie in which Keanu Reeves gets revenge on a group of gang members who shot his dog. 

The first film is a pretty basic and simple concept but as the series progresses the plots get more conspiracy-driven and complex without ever feeling out of place. You still get the over-the-top action along with a well-crafted mystery that keeps you on your toes.

So, after two successful movies, we have this third installment with Reeves reprising his role as Wick and Chad Stahelski (The Crow, The Matrix trilogy) and David Leitch (Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2, Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw) returning as director and executive producer. How does Parabellum hold up compared to its predecessors? Honestly, compared to the previous John Wick movies this is probably the most chaotic, adrenaline-filled rush out of all of them. 

I’m still debating which movie I think is the best but Parabellum in my opinion is the most entertaining to watch. Parabellum takes the John Wick action formula and cranks it up to infinity with absolutely ridiculous and insane results…and you know what? I love it for that very reason. 

Immediately following the events of the last film, John Wick (Reeves) is now excommunicado by the ruthless High Table and has a $14 million bounty on himself with every single assassin in New York City on the hunt for him. John travels to Casablanca where he meets up with a hit-woman from his past named Sofia (Halle Berry-X-Men franchise, Swordfish, Die Another Day) who reluctantly agrees to help him locate a senior member of the High Table known as The Elder (Saïd Taghmaoui-Three Kings, I Heart Huckabees, Wonder Woman) in hopes to remove the bounty on his head. 

Meanwhile, the Adjudicator of the High Table (Asia Kate Dillon-Orange is the New Black, Billions, The Outside Story) and her top assassin, Zero (Mark Dacascos-Cradle 2 the Grave, Hawaii Five-0, Mortal Kombat: Legacy) start tracking down the people involved in Wick’s actions, Winston (Ian McShane-Deadwood, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Hellboy (2019)) and the Bowery King (Laurence Fishburne-The Matrix trilogy, DC Extended Universe, Ant-Man and the Wasp) and order them to relinquish their positions of authority or be faced with deadly consequences. John, Winston, the Bowery King, and the trusty concierge of the Continental, Charon (Lance Reddick-The Wire, Fringe, Lost) prepare not to hunt another gang but to go to war between the Continental assassins and the High Table. 

The film also stars Anjelica Huston (Prizzi’s Honor, The Addams Family 1 and 2, The Royal Tenenbaums) as the Director, Jason Mantzoukas (Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Disaster Artist) as Tick Tock Man, Robin Lord Taylor (Another Earth, The Walking Dead, You) as the Administrator, NBA superstar, Boban Marjanovićas Ernest, Jerome Flynn (Soldier Soldier, Game of Thrones, Ripper Street) as Berrada, and Tobias Segal (Petunia, The Good Wife, The Drop) as Earl.

Overall, John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum may not quite be as strong as its predecessors but it’s nevertheless a milestone in action movie filmmaking and an explosive blast of summer blockbuster fun from beginning to end. From the stunt work, energy, and offering new and imaginative scenarios for action sequences, it gives the CGI-filled final battle in Avengers: Endgame a run for its money. 

Making a movie that’s nothing but over-the-top action and stunts while still giving a sh*t about the characters involved is a very difficult task but films like the John Wick series, Mad Max: Fury Road, and Mission: Impossible: Fallout have proven that it’s not impossible. You see John Wick shooting enemy assassins and gang members, getting into bloody fistfights and intense motorcycle chases, and a completely ridiculous fight sequence in an antique shop involving a bunch of knives as the highlight of the movie, but you understand what he’s going through and his tragic past even without much dialogue and you want him to win. 

Since it takes place immediately after the second film it’s best to watch all three films back to back not just for continuity purposes but to see how a movie that started off as a basic revenge action film and evolved into something bigger. There are even some callbacks to the previous two films that are actually quite funny that fans will notice.

John Wick: Chapter 3 isn’t a flawless movie; in fact, I’ll go on record and say the narrative gets lost during the film’s second act. I felt there wasn’t much of a purpose for John Wick to travel to Casablanca aside from getting more exposition about the High Table and Halle Berry’s character just disappears after a while, but those flaws don’t ruin the experience.

John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum delivers pure action movie adrenaline and another hard-hitting installment of the John Wick trilogy which is quite possibly the Die Hard of this generation. I’m glad I finally got the chance to review a John Wick movie and make up for an old mistake, I guarantee if a John Wick: Chapter 4 gets made I’ll be there. 

Pokémon: Detective Pikachu review

POKÉMON: DETECTIVE PIKACHU:

A CASE WORTH TAKING FOR DIE-HARD POKÉ-FANS!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

WARNER BROS. PICTURES

Justice Smith and Pikachu are on the case in Pokémon: Detective Pikachu

            The world of Nintendo’s hugely successful Pokémon franchise comes to life in Pokémon: Detective Pikachu, the latest film based on the Pokémon video game and TV series. Not only is this the first Pokémon movie to get a wide theatrical release since Pokémon 3: The Movie in 2001 but also the first live-action/CG animated film adaptation based on the series. 

            Given Pokémon’s massive popularity since its introduction back in 1995 you’d think Hollywood would probably jump on this bandwagon much sooner. We’ve had three animated films based on the TV show released from 1999 to 2001, but never a live-action film with realistic “Pocket Monsters” roaming around…I guess they were too busy milking Alvin and the Chipmunks and Smurfs instead of one of the most profitable things on the planet. 

            Like many kids, Pokémon was a huge part of my childhood from watching the anime on TV, playing the video games on Game Boy and N64, and collecting toys, merchandise, and the trading cards. I even have fond memories of going to see the original three Pokémon movies in theaters and loving them at the time. 

But as I got older and was being introduced to other franchises like Mario, Crash Bandicoot, and Sonic the Hedgehog I began to distance myself from Pokémon. I still respected the franchise, watched a couple of the later movies either on TV or DVD, and played a few new games once in a while, but it never really wowed me as it once did.

Aside from characters appearing in other game franchises like Super Smash Bros. and meeting Veronica Taylor, the original English voice for Ash Ketchum in the anime at a couple of conventions, I’ve severely fallen behind on the Pokémon craze. 

            However, when news of a film based on the Detective Pikachu game from 2016 was announced I was kind of intrigued. Granted, I’ve never played the Detective Pikachu game so I’m not sure how faithful this movie is to it, I did watch the commercials for the game online featuring a CG talking Pikachu voiced by Danny DeVito in live-action environment and got a basic idea of what the concept is. 

            I had some concerns though because while the Pokémon franchise is a huge hit with its fans, the movies never won critics over. If you revisit those movies today without the nostalgia goggles, you can see why.

            The English dub’s corny jokes and dialogue, flat storylines, and forced morals. Yeah, they’re nostalgic but they’re terrible movies sorry but it’s true, Poké-fans.

So, now we have this live-action Pokémon: Detective Pikachu movie directed by Rob Letterman (Shark Tale, Monsters VS Aliens, Goosebumps) and featuring the voice of Ryan Reynolds (National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, Turbo, Deadpool 1 and 2) as the talking, coffee-addicted Detective Pikachu. How does this version hold up compared to its animated predecessors? Honestly, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the live-action film is quite possibly the best Pokémon movie we’ve ever gotten. 

            Coming from a guy who hasn’t followed the franchise in over a decade, Detective Pikachu surpassed my expectations and despite a flawed and predictable story I ended up having a fun time. The film embraces its gleefully absurd premise about a human befriending a talking Pikachu and offers a familiar but unique perspective on Pokémon that’s exciting, funny, and cute all at the same time with plenty of fan-service for its devoted fanbase…if you’re a die-hard Pokémon fan I guarantee you’ll have a “Poké-Ball” catching all the references in this movie.

            The film is set in Ryme City where humans and Pokémon co-exist together, and follows a young man named Tim Goodman (Justice Smith-Paper Towns, Every Day, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom) whose father had mysteriously gone missing. One night he is greeted by a Pikachu (voiced by Reynolds) wearing a hat that may have belonged to his father and discovers that he can communicate and understand Pikachu but all everyone else can hear is “Pika-Pika!”. 

            Believing his father is still alive, Tim and Detective Pikachu join forces to solve the mystery behind his disappearance. Along the way they befriend a junior reporter named Lucy Stevens (Kathryn Newton-Gary Unmarried, Paranormal Activity 4, Supernatural) and her Psyduck who accompany Tim and Pikachu on their quest to crack the case. 

            However, there may be something more behind Tim’s father’s disappearance. Something that could change humanity and Pokémon life forever. 

            The film also stars Bill Nighy (Shaun of the Dead, Rango, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Parts 1 and 2) as Howard Clifford, Ken Watanabe (Letters from Iwo Jima, Godzilla (2014) 1 and 2, Transformers 4 and 5) as Detective Hideo Yoshida, Chris Geere (Waterloo Road, You’re the Worst, The Last Showing) as Roger Clifford, Suki Waterhouse (The Divergent Series: Insurgent, The Bad Batch, Assassination Nation) as Ms. Norman, Karan Soni (Safety Not Guaranteed, Deadpool 1 and 2, Ghostbusters (2016)) as Jack, and Ikue Ōtani returning as Pikachu’s normal speaking voice.

            Overall, Pokémon: Detective Pikachu may not win over any newcomers, but fans will have a blast. I literally felt like a little kid again sitting in the theater watching all the Pokémon I grew up with come to life in CGI form and all the models for them look great and are given enhancements to blend into the live-action environments but they’re still recognizable, take some notes Sonic the Hedgehog movie.

            The film is overflowing with characters and references that fans will absolutely gush over. From appearances by Bulbasaur, Jigglypuff, Lickitung, and Squirtle to battles with Charizard, Greninja, and fan-favorite, Mewtwo, it has everything a Pokémon fan would want.  

            If you’ve seen the trailers you know exactly what you’re getting into, and the movie doesn’t really do much to surprise you. The plot is very reminiscent of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the main villain was predictable the moment he showed up, and the climax is ripped straight from Batman (1989), gas-filled balloons and all.

Would I have liked a more original story with shocking twists and surprises? Absolutely. But the recycled narrative doesn’t exactly ruin the movie and besides we’re all here for the Pokémon anyway. 

Pokémon: Detective Pikachu breaks the video game movie curse and offers a fun, nostalgia-filled adventure for Pokémon fans of all shapes and sizes. It doesn’t directly adapt its source material but instead brings a side-story to the screen that actually benefits from it. 

It proves a film based on a game can be different but still entertaining and with the right amount of thought and passion put into it, a Nintendo property can get a decent film adaptation. 

UglyDolls review

UGLYDOLLS:

COLORFUL PLUSHY ANIMATED ADVENTURE IS WARM-HEARTED BUT BLAND AND FORGETTABLE!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** out of 4

STX FILMS

The Land of Perfection is going to have some strange unexpected guests in UglyDolls

            The good news is the latest animated cash-cow, UglyDolls is NOT the Emoji Movie of 2019…the bad news is it still isn’t a very good movie. Based on the line of plush dolls of the same name, UglyDolls were apparently successful enough to warrant an animated movie because The Lego Movie? *awkward shrug*

            When the film was first announced and I got a glimpse at the poster and trailer, I was completely dismissive of the idea. I can understand a movie based on Legos or even Angry Birds but was anyone asking for an UglyDolls feature film on the big-screen? I sure wasn’t.

            However, unlike something like The Emoji Movie where the concept alone felt like an insult to human intelligence, I wasn’t really offended towards the idea of a movie based on UglyDolls but more puzzled and confused as to why it was even made. Judging by the trailers it at least looked like there was a little bit of thought and good intentions put into the movie. 

            It looked harmless for kids at best but dumb and heavily studio controlled at worst and now that I’ve seen the movie…it lives up to most of the expectations I had. UglyDolls has sparks of imagination and an inoffensive moral about being who you are, unfortunately these wholesome topics of identity and personality take a backseat to a tired and formulaic plot seen in a million other movies and it isn’t even a colossal trainwreck that angers me instead it’s just a colorful and well-intentioned but bland and forgettable feature-length toy commercial that may entertain your little kids for an hour and a half. 

             The film is set in the world of Uglyville where deformed dolls get whisked away to from the conveyer belt in a doll factory because of their flaws. One of these dolls is Moxy (voiced by Kelly Clarkson-American Idol, Broke*, Trolls World Tour) who dreams of leaving Uglyville and enter the real world in search for the perfect child that will love her forever. 

            One day Moxy and her band of misfit friends, Lucky Bat (voiced by Wang Leehom-The Iron Giant (Mandarin dub), Love in Disguise, Blackhat), Ugly Dog (voiced by Pitbull-Epic), Wage (voiced by Wanda Sykes-The Chris Rock Show, Over the Hedge, Ice Age 4 and 5), and Babo (voiced by Gabriel Iglesias-The Book of Life, Coco, Ferdinand) come across a giant hole where new Ugly Dolls are dropped from the conveyer belt and decide to enter it in hopes that it will lead them into the real world. They stumble across the Institute of Perfection which houses human-like dolls that compete in a series of tests known as the Gauntlet to be with their perfect child…oh, and everyone there is a model along with their everyday jobs and occupations (I’ll give you a minute to groan at that joke). 

            After being scolded by the head of the institute, Lou (voiced by Nick Jonas-Jonas Brothers, Camp Rock 1 and 2, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle), Moxy and her crew decide to prove him wrong by competing in the Gauntlet and earning their child. However, this suave and seemingly perfect doll has some diabolical agendas as he tries everything in his power to prevent the Ugly Dolls from winning the competition and is hiding some dark secrets about the dolls’ history.

            The film also features the voices of Blake Shelton (Pitch Perfect 2, The Angry Birds Movie) as Mayor Ox, Janelle Monáe (Rio 2, Hidden Figures, Lady and the Tramp (2019)) as Mandy, Emma Roberts (Unfabulous, Nancy Drew, It’s Kind of a Funny Story) as Wedgehead, Bebe Rexha as Tuesday, Charli XCX (The Angry Birds Movie) as Kitty, Lizzo (Wonderland, Hustlers) as Lydia, Ice-T (Trespass,Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,Tupac: Resurrection) as Peggy, Jane Lynch (Glee, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Wreck-It Ralph/Ralph Breaks the Internet) as Scanner, the film’s director Kelly Asbury (Shrek 2, Gnomeo & Juliet, Smurfs: The Lost Village) as Gibberish Cat, Oliver, Chef, and Buttons, and Rob Riggle (Saturday Night Live, 21/22 Jump Street, Hotel Transylvania 2) as Exposition Robot.

            Overall, UglyDolls may satisfy younger viewers but compared to other far superior family movie alternatives and much more on their way soon, it doesn’t offer much to recommend. It’s basically every single outcast movie premise with hardly any variety or new perspectives on it, almost as if the script was generated out of tired animated movie clichés by the studio’s chairman(s), dropped it on the director’s table and said to the director “Make us some money!” without putting any passion into the project as a desperate attempt to make a quick buck off a successful property.

            Had the filmmakers took a similar approach as Toy Story or The Lego Movie, there could have been a clever, totally original animated movie based on UglyDolls. Sure, Toy Story and The Lego Movie are based on existing properties or at the very least existing properties are name-dropped but there was a lot of passion and thought put into both films and were unique and original without ever pandering to the audience for their money. 

            Perhaps the filmmakers and studio had no idea what to do with these UglyDolls since there isn’t much of a narrative background behind these dolls, so they just threw this movie together at the last minute with a note saying, “We tried”. It’s a shame because there is a good moral in here about being who you are and not letting anyone judge you but when you see it being associated with twerking dolls and a rapping dog voiced by Pitbull it plays more like the studio notes being projected on the screen rather than a wholesome animated movie.

            So, it’s not good enough for me to recommend but it also isn’t bad enough for me to get a genuine reaction out of it. UglyDolls is just a bland failed attempt at a feature-length toy commercial that plays it too safe and not taking any risks in either its message or narrative, even with characters and environments this colorful and vibrant it’s a dull experience that I probably won’t remember in the next few days.

            If you got little kids who want to see UglyDolls, they might enjoy it but the parents watching may feel miserable and wish there was a vulgar, smart-alecky, talking Pikachu on-screen instead. Save your full-length toy commercial money for next weekend’s Pokémon: Detective Pikachu, at least that looks like a family movie that is taking risks and not playing it safe and conventional. 

Long Shot review

LONG SHOT:

SETH ROGEN AND CHARLIZE THERON ARE SURPRISINGLY CUTE TOGETHER IN A ROM-COM THAT SUCCESSFULLY BALANCES RAUNCHY AND SWEET!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

LIONSGATE

Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen in Long Shot

            That’s twice now Charlize Theron (Monster, Mad Max: Fury Road, Tully) stars in a movie released a week after Avengers. Last year we got Tully which was released the week after Avengers: Infinity War and now history has repeated itself with Avengers: Endgame opening last weekend and the new romantic-comedy, Long Shot starring Theron and Seth Rogen (Superbad, This is the End, Sausage Party) being released one week later.

            Directed by frequent collaborator of Rogen, Jonathan Levine (50/50, Warm Bodies, The Night Before) Long Shot gives the best of both worlds for date night, a warm-hearted, feel-good romantic-comedy and a raunchy, vulgar Seth Rogen comedy, pot jokes and all both at the same time…and surprisingly it works.

            Trying to be both a lovey-dovey rom-com and a raunch-fest can be such a risk with a movie like this, but thanks to the charm of its leads and some very humorous writing everything feels natural and never goes too far to the point of having an identity crisis. I came into this movie relatively blind and ended up laughing and having a very fun time.

            The film follows Fred Flarsky (Rogen), an unemployed but gifted journalist with an affinity for trouble who unexpectedly reconnects with his childhood crush Charlotte Field (Theron) who has now become one of the most powerful and influential women of all time, the Secretary of State for the United States and is running for president. 

            After Fred charms her with his self-deprecating humor and memories of her youthful idealism, Charlotte hires him to be her speechwriter for her presidential campaign much to the dismay of her advisors. Fred is unprepared for Charlotte’s glamorous lifestyle and these two people have practically nothing in common aside from the fact that Charlotte used to babysit Fred when he was like twelve or thirteen, but sparks start flying and as Fred and Charlotte start spending more time together a round-the-world romance starts to unfold and this unlikely partnership could be something more than just business.

             The film also stars O’Shea Jackson Jr. (Straight Outta Compton, Ingrid Goes West, Godzilla: King of the Monsters) as Lance, Andy Serkis (The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Planet of the Apes (2011 trilogy), Marvel Cinematic Universe) as Parker Wembley, June Diane Raphael (NTSF:SD:SUV, Grace and Frankie, The Disaster Artist) as Maggie Millikin, Bob Odenkirk (Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul, The Post, Incredibles 2) as President Chambers, Alexander Skarsgård (True Blood, Zoolander 1 and 2, Big Little Lies) as James Steward, Ravi Patel (Scrubs, Grandfathered, American Housewife) as Tom, Randall Park (The Interview, Fresh Off the Boat, Ant-Man and the Wasp) as Flarsky’s boss, James Saito (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), Die Hard with a Vengeance, Iron Fist) as Minister Kishido, professional wrestler Randy Orton (That’s What I Am, 12 Rounds 2: Reloaded, The Condemned 2) as Jimmy P., and Lisa Kudrow (Mad About You, Friends, Neighbors 1 and 2) as Katherine. 

            Overall, Long Shot is just as heartfelt as it is witty and one of Seth Rogen’s more restrained outings. There’s no sausage on bun action, Kim Jong-un defecating himself, or giant demons getting their dongs sliced off by a beam of light, though there is a handful of his trademark humor in here, but it never feels out of place.

            The Seth Rogen style of comedy isn’t played up as much as something like This is the End or Sausage Party but more along the lines of films like Knocked Up or 50/50 where it’s blended with some heart and drama. I have to give this movie serious props for not going right into the obvious Seth Rogen joke related to a certain substance the actor is best known for using in most of his movies, they played that card at just the right moment even though I kind of saw it coming I was still laughing.

            Granted, not every joke in the movie lands, in fact there is a particular gag involving Rogen that while humorous went on a bit too long. Let’s just say “stuff” happened while he was watching a video of Theron giving a speech on his computer and it was…a tad predictable and felt more like something Randy Marsh would do on South Park or Will Ferrell in Step Brothers rather than Seth Rogen, luckily it doesn’t ruin the movie. 

            Let’s talk about Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen for a moment…they are absolutely adorable in this movie and I’m dead serious. I have no idea how they made a couple like that work, but I believed all throughout the movie that they were in love and the two leads have very romantic chemistry together while also getting into wacky shenanigans along the way.

            Long Shot is a feel-good movie in all the right ways and never becomes too mushy or too raunchy to enjoy, Levine finds a perfect balance between the two and Rogen and Theron shine as an unexpectedly cute on-screen couple. It’s a “Shot” worth taking after all the Avengers emotions we’ve had over the past weekend…plus I needed a review to put in between Avengers: Endgame and my upcoming review of UglyDolls because reviewing UglyDolls immediately after Endgame would be a crime against humanity, but that’s for another day.