The Dog Stars review

THE DOG STARS: 

AN EPICALLY MADE BUT SOULLESS RIDLEY SCOTT JOINT! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** out of 4

20^TH CENTURY STUDIOS

Jacob Elordi and Josh Brolin in The Dog Stars

 

            Director Ridley Scott (Alien, Gladiator 1 and 2, The Martian) is back, and this time, he enters a post-apocalyptic future in his latest film, The Dog Stars. The film is based on the 2012 novel of the same name by Peter Heller, but since I did not read the book, I will be judging it on its own merits. 

            While not every movie of his has been a home run, I admire Ridley Scott as a filmmaker and how versatile he is with his projects; whether it’s a sci-fi/horror movie about aliens exploding out of people’s chests, a grand historical epic, or even a crime thriller, there’s no denying that he’s a man of his craft. The guy’s in his fucking 80s, and he’s still working and bringing some of the most epic spectacles ever filmed to the screen. 

            I was curious about this, though,gh like I said, I know nothing about the source material; I was just here to see a high-quality Ridley Scott epic set in a post-apocalyptic world. Man, The Dog Stars was quite a letdown. 

            I wouldn’t call this Ridley Scott’s worst film; if you ask me, that dishonor goes to 2001’s Hannibal, and to his credit, this is a well-made movie in terms of the cinematography and production design, but it’s such a nothing movie that I’m struggling to remember what I just watched (And I came out of this film like 2 hours ago). Not even the cast,t which consists of actors I absolutely love, putting their all into it, could save this material. 

            The film is set in 2035, after a devastating pandemic almost eradicated humanity, and follows Hig (Jacob Elordi-Priscilla, Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights), a civilian pilot who lives with his dog, Jasper, and a military survivalist known as Bangley (Josh Brolin-True Grit (2010), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Dune trilogy). But when he gets a mysterious radio transmission, Hig ventures into the unknown in search of the hope and humanity he believes still exists. 

            The film also stars Margaret Qualley (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, The Substance, Blue Moon) as Cima, Guy Pearce (Memento, Iron Man 3, The Brutalist; who previously worked with Scott on Prometheus) as Jack, Allison Janney (Juno, I, Tonya, The Creator) as Darlene, and Benedict Wong (Moon, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Weapons) as Aaron. 

            Overall, The Dog Stars is impressive from a cinematography perspective, ve and most of the acting is solid; unfortunately, the film comes crashing down because of a bland script, flat characters, and sluggish pacing. Granted, I thought the movie started off strong in the beginning and has an absolutely chaotic climax, but it is a slog in the middle, and none of the characters were able to keep me invested in what was happening. 

            The sad part is it could have been a potentially interesting premise: humanity is nearly wiped out after an unknown virus, and the remaining people need to survive. It sounds like a great idea even with Ridley Scott behind the camera, but I don’t know what happened here because The Dog Stars mutated from what could have been a fascinating and compelling movie into a dull snooze-fest that’s just under 2 hours but feels like it’s over 3. 

            Most of the acting is good, with Josh Brolin being a big standout as a man obsessed with and always prepared for the apocalypse. Even though the material doesn’t really do him any favors, he knows what kind of character he’s playing and does his thing. 

            Jacob Elordi and Margaret Qualley are fine,e and I guess I bought their chemistry enough.h, Guy Pearce is almost unrecognizable as Qualley’s father, and he’s good in the amount of screen time he has. Allison Janney isn’t as prominent as the other leads, but she goes big with her performance here and gives…one of the few memorable things in the film. 

            However, despite a strong cast, their characterization is almost non-existent, and the film doesn’t try to make you care about these people. Outside of Brolin, I can’t remember anything about Elordi or Qualley’s characters, and a film where I fail to connect with the characters,s especially the main characters, rs fails completely. 

            I like the premise of this movie, but the script is so derivative of other post-apocalyptic stories and hardly does anything new or interesting with its ideas. There’s even a scene where it felt like Ridley Scott blatantly ripped off the War Boys from Mad Max: Fury Road in a scene where these survivors who have gone insane are trashing a place and getting shot by Brolin. 

            I’ll throw this movie a bit of a bone (No pun intended) with the way it looks; this is at least a beautifully shot film with epic landscapes of mountains and forests. I’m not advising people to go see this in theaters because it’s such a boring slog, but the shots of the landscapes looked great on the big screen. 

            Yeah, you know how Ridley Scott criticized Marvel movies’ scripts and called them boring as shit? Well, guess what, Mr. Scott? I found your new movie, The Dog Stars, boring as shit! This isn’t his worst movie because there are impressive aspects about it, but it’s a soulless and empty slog with characters I couldn’t get attached to and a waste of an interesting premise and my time. 

            My advice: stick it to him and go see The Odyssey again instead. It’s longer, but it’s much better paced, has characters you actually give a shit about, and the story is engaging. Or if you really hate him, go see Spider-Man: Brand New Day, a Marvel movie; again, you have better choices than this dull mess. 

Coyote VS ACME review

COYOTE VS ACME: 

AN ABSOLUTELY CHAOTIC AND “LOONEY” COURT CASE IN THE BEST WAY! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: **** out of 4

KETCHUP ENTERTAINMENT AND WARNER BROS. PICTURES

Wile E. Coyote has had enough in Coyote VS ACME

 

            After so many failed attempts to catch the Road Runner, Wile E. Coyote teams up with Will Forte (Saturday Night Live, Nebraska, Strays) to take the ACME Corporation down in Coyote VS ACME, the latest film from director Dave Green (Earth to Echo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows) based on the Looney Tunes and the second to be distributed by Ketchup Entertainment after last year’s The Day the Earth Blew Up. The Looney Tunes have had a pretty interesting few years with Warner Bros. shelving and canceling projects for tax write-offs; 2021’s Space Jam: A New Legacy was a massive critical and commercial disaster, and hardly any new Looney Tunes projects are being made these days. 

            But then, independent studio Ketchup Entertainment acquired the distribution rights for this and The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie and let them see the light of day after being neglected by their once-respected owners. At this point, WB should just give Ketchup the rights to the entire Looney Tunes franchise because clearly, they don’t know what they’re doing with the property. 

            As someone who has defended Looney Tunes: Back in Action (Their second live-action/animated hybrid film after the original Space Jam) for years, I gotta say, Coyote VS ACME completely trumps it and especially both Space Jam movies. This is such a good movie with consistent laughs, surprisingly ingenious storytelling, and even some genuine heart. There’s no basketball with Michael Jordan or LeBron James or a magic diamond that turns people into monkeys; it’s the Looney Tunes doing their looney things in the real world, and it is fun. 

            The film follows Wile E. Coyote, who has been trying to catch the Road Runner for years with ACME products constantly blowing up in his face (Literally!). But when he sees an ad on TV for a personal injury law firm that specializes in cartoon violence, Avery, Jones, and Maltese (A cute little nod to cartoonists Tex Avery and Chuck Jones and screenwriter Michael Maltese), Wile E. takes the left turn to Albuquerque and joins forces with down and out billboard attorney, Kevin Avery (Forte) and take the ACME Corporation to court. 

            However, they soon learn that ACME is hiding a terrible secret that will make this case explode in biblical proportions. 

            The film also stars John Cena (Bumblebee, Fast & Furious franchise, Peacemaker) as ACME lawyer Buddy Crane, Lana Condor (X-Men: Apocalypse, Alita: Battle Angel, Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken) as Paige Avery, Tone Bell (Dog Days, Little, Trigger Warning) as Sal Maltese, Luis Guzmán (Boogie Nights, Traffic, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie) as Judge Troppogrosso, Martha Kelly (Baskets, Euphoria, Marriage Story) as Dottie Jones, P.J. Byrne (The Wolf of Wall Street, A Complete Unknown, The End of Oak Street) as Bill Pellicano, Kenneth Choi (Sons of Anarchy, The People v. O.J. Simpson, Marvel Cinematic Universe) as Oscar Jeon, and John Early (30 Rock, Search Party, Eternity) as news anchor Henry Heslop; and features the voices of Eric Bauza (The Adventures of Puss in Boots, Muppet Babies, Rick and Morty), Candi Milo (Dexter’s Laboratory, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, ¡Mucha Lucha!), and Jim Cummings (Winnie the Pooh, Darkwing Duck, Star Wars franchise) as various Looney Tunes characters including Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, Tweety, Granny, Witch Hazel, and the Tasmanian Devil. 

            Overall, Coyote VS ACME may not dethrone Who Framed Roger Rabbit as the new standard for live-action/cartoon animation hybrids, but it is easily the best since that film and a great big love letter to the Looney Tunes. I was laughing constantly and smiling every time a character I recognized appeared or a reference to a previous cartoon that I understood was made. 

            I’m serious, if you love the classic Looney Tunes cartoons, especially if you grew up with them, a lot of the fun of this movie is catching all the characters and references because there is so much in here; I felt like I was going looney myself while watching it. My only big complaint with the references is that they did not have a cameo by Steve Martin, who played the evil ACME chairman in Looney Tunes: Back in Action, or the monkey version of him; that was a missed opportunity. 

            I was sold on the premise alone: Wile E. Coyote suing ACME after years of their products failing on him during his pursuits of the Road Runner, and it does not disappoint. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds,s and the actors fully embrace the wackiness of this id; between this and Clint Eastwood’s Juror #2, it begs the question of why Joker 2 was the most important courthouse-themed movie to Warner Bros.

            John Cena in particular is having a ball as ACME’s lawyer, who plays this role that requires interacting with non-existent cartoon characters completely straight, which makes his scenes even funnier. He knows exactly what kind of character he’s playing,g and he has fun with it: a stern, no-nonsense lawyer who threatens Tweety over what he “Tawt” he “Taw”; forget Peacemaker, this is Cena’s best performance. 

            Will Forte is a good straight man to Wile E. Coyote’s zaniness, almost like a Bob Hoskins Eddie Valiant and Roger Rabbit relationship (Minus the toon racism and alcoholism), and both of them actually have really strong chemistry with each other. It’s fun to see and hear Forte react to Wile E.’s schemes and shenanigans, but he also shows he cares for both this cartoon coyote and the case. 

            The animation is really good,d though it is technically 3D animation made to look like 2D cartoon animation. I personally would have preferred a style similar to the original Space Jam and Looney Tunes: Back in Action, where the characters are hand-drawn with enhancements made to blend them into the live-action environments, but it is very fluid and energetic animation that fits perfectly with the Looney Tunes’ silly and wacky hijinks. 

            Coyote VS ACME is the most glorious middle finger to current Warner Bros. and a darn entertaining Looney Tunes movie that deserves to be seen in theaters. It’s funny, charming, and filled with homages to the Tunes’ glory days. Wile E. Coyote may fail at catching the Road Runner, but he certainly succeeded with this film. 

Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma review

TEENAGE SEX AND DEATH AT CAMP MIASMA: 

I SAW THE 80s SLASHER MOVIE GLOW! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: **** out of 4

MUBI

Hannah Einbinder in Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma

 

            In the tradition of Scream and The Cabin in the Woods, the slasher movie genre is about to get deconstructed even more with outlandish results in Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, the new film from director Jane Schoenbrun (We’re All Going to the World’s Fair, I Saw the TV Glow). Before I go into this film, I should make something perfectly clear to all of you…don’t go in expecting a typical slasher movie because it is not that at all. 

            I was very impressed by Schoenbrun’s previous movie, I Saw the TV Glow, and when I found out they were attached to direct this, I was curious to see what they would bring to the screen here. If you thought I Saw the TV Glow was an absolute fever dream, you ain’t seen nothing yet because Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is fucking weird and does what that movie did with Power Rangers-style children’s shows for 80s slasher films such as Friday the 13^th and Sleepaway Camp (Hell, both those franchises are even mentioned in this film). 

            The film follows queer filmmaker Kris Williams (Hannah Einbinder-North Hollywood, History of the World: Part II, Seekers of Infinite Love) being attached to direct a reboot of the long-dormant Camp Miasma slasher movie franchise that dates back to the 1980s. But when she visits the actress who played the final girl in the original film, Billy Presley (Gillian Anderson-The X-Files, The Pale Blue Eye, Tron: Ares), Kris becomes fixated on casting her in the movie, and various oddities and psychological terrors begin on their quest to film the reboot. 

            The film also stars Sarah Sherman (Saturday Night Live, Nimona, Roommates) as Kris’ agent, Dylan Baker (Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Spider-Man 2 and 3, Trick ‘r Treat) as Jeffrey, Jasmin Savoy Brown (The Leftovers, Scream franchise, Missing) as Mari, Kevin McDonald (That 70s Show, Invader Zim, Lilo & Stitch) as Anthony, and Jess McLeod (One of Us is Lying, It’s a Wonderful Knife, Akashi) as Tracy. 

            Overall, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is a surreal and riveting subversion of the slasher movie genre while also standing as a love letter to both the genre and filmmaking as a whole. Like when I went to see I Saw the TV Glow, I was unprepared for the absolute chaos and mindfuckery of the film and quite often had my jaw hanging open while trying to process what I’m looking at on the screen. 

            It very much is like I Saw the TV Glow except with slasher movies, and just like that film, this feels like a personal story for Jane Schoenbrun. When the movie becomes abstract and surreal, you can kind of argue this is how Schoenbrun perceives the slasher genre and how it affected them at a young age and shaped who they are as an adult. 

 

            In terms of the production design and editing, the film looks fantastic, and you can tell Jane Schoenbrun has a lot of love for 80s slasher movies, even right down to shooting the movie on 35mm film. It really feels like a lost 80s horror movie that you’d probably see on the shelf at a video store,e and I’m not just talking about the scenes where you’re watching the movie within the movie. 

            Probably my favorite sequence in the whole film is this long, continuous shot in the Camp Miasma movie within the movie of the franchise’s killer named Little Death killing people, le set to Counting Crows’ A Long December. It really makes me want to see the Birdman of slasher movies now; that whole scene left a huge impression. 

            The film also does a lot of meta commentary and satire on the slasher genre and the film industry itself, with Hollywood relying almost solely on IP-driven franchise,s which sadly is true even if I enjoy a large amount of them (Coming Soon to a Theater Near You: Hunger Games again, Avengers again, Dune again, Jumanji again, Angry Birds again,…and Werwulf!). Granted, there are times when it feels the film is trying to channel the meta satire of the Scream movies a bit (Neve Campbell is even mentioned), but since this is a movie about making a horror movie, I think it works well enough, and it easily beats the shit out of Scream 7 in terms of genre satire. 

            The movie explores themes I certainly wasn’t expecting, specifically the true meaning behind the Little Death. Some of you might know what that actually means, but for the sake of spoilers, I won’t say it here. 

            This is my first time seeing Hannah Einbinder in something,g and I thought she was great as the filmmaker working on the Camp Miasma reboot. I wouldn’t be surprised if Einbinder’s Kris is actually a surrogate for Jane Schoenbrun because I can definitely see them through her performance;e, she’s witty, forward-thinking, and has some burning desires of her own. 

            Gillian Anderson, though,h is amazing as the reclusive, Billy Presley and has very strong chemistry with Hannah Einbinder. She clocks into work and brings her A-game with some of the best acting I’ve ever seen from her, which could even make Scully from The X-Files blush, almost makes you forget she was in the last Tron movie. 

            Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is a great big love letter to 80s slasher films that completely subverts audiences’ expectations and deconstructs the genre with a wildly ambitious, bizarre, and engaging movie that must be seen to be believed. I don’t see this film winning everyone over, especially those going in expecting a standard slasher movie, but if you know what you’re getting into with this or enjoyed Schoenbrun’s last film, you’ve got quite an experience to look forward to. 

Mutiny review

MUTINY: 

ANOTHER SILLY JASON STATHAM ACTION MOVIE, THIS TIME ON A CARGO SHIP! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

LIONSGATE

Jason Statham in Mutiny

 

            Jason Statham (The Transporter trilogy, Crank 1 and 2, The Expendables franchise) is back to do what he does best in Mutiny, the new action film from director Jean-François Richet (Assault on Precinct 13 (2005), Blood Father, Plane). While not every one of his movies is a winner, there’s no denying that Jason Statham’s got mad charisma as an action star, with some of my favorites of his being the first two Transporter films, The Bank Job, and Crank; he’s tough, charming, and knows how to deliver one-liners; he’s like a British Bruce Willis. 

            Honestly, when a movie of his doesn’t work, it’s because the filmmakers failed to utilize his talents (Meg 2: The Trench, Transporter 3). I still stand by Meg 2 as the worst film of his because not only was his charm unable to save the movie, but it was a boring, overlong slog that suddenly becomes chaotic, stupid fun towards the end. 

            This movie, though, I thought it looked fine from the trailers and Richet’s previous directing effort, Plane, was an unexpected surprise and a thoroughly enjoyable throwback to 80s-90s action movies. Mutiny seemed like it was in the same boat (No pun intended) as that film and…yeah, it is. 

            This movie gave me exactly what I was expecting, and I should stress that’s not a bad thing. I’m not going into Jason Statham action movies expecting John Wick or Mad Max: Fury Road; all I need is a fun, silly movie where he kills the bad guys in over-the-top ways and says a bunch of one-liners and quips. Mutiny gave me just that.

            The film follows Cole Reed (Statham), a former police officer and commando who works for his boss Tibu (Ramon Tikaram-This Life, EastEnders, Pennyworth) as a bodyguard. But when Tibu is murdered and Reed is framed for it, he boards a cargo ship to get revenge on the attackers, only to discover a secret human trafficking operation. 

            The film also stars Annabelle Wallis (X-Men: First Class, Annabelle, Tag) as Angie Ellis, Jason Wong (The Gentlemen, Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant, Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) as Taran, Roland Møller (Darkland, Atomic Blonde, Skyscraper) as Captain Marko Madsen, Arnas Fedaravicius (The Last Kingdom, The White Lotus) as Mateo Pineda, Adrian Lester (The Day After Tomorrow, Doomsday, Mary, Queen of Scots) as Captain Adam Spencer, and Chaneil Kular (Sex Education, Accused, Bodies) as Kameron Campallo. 

            Overall, Mutiny knows what it is and doesn’t try to be a cinematic game-changer in the action movie genre. Much like Plane, it’s just a dumb, fun throwback to 90s action films, one-liners, blood, bullets, and all. 

            If you’ve seen ANY of those macho action movies from the 90s, you know what kind of film this is, and there isn’t much in here in terms of surprises. It follows the formula beat-for-beat with Statham on a vengeful manhunt and won’t stop until justice is served. 

            It’s as formulaic as you could get, but what anchors the movie is Statham himself,f who, yes, is just doing his usual shtick, but it works to the film’s advantage. He is very charismatic and knows how to make wise cracks while kicking ass, but the movie does a decent job of giving him a fair amount of depth and character development, so he isn’t just badass Jason Statham playing himself. 

            In the short amount of time they have together in the beginning, you feel the connection between Statham and his boss, which adds to the tragedy of the boss getting killed in an attack. There are also some interesting things about Statham’s character revealed later on in the film that make him pretty compelling. 

            The action scenes are solid and well-choreographed and edited with tons of that gritty, over-the-top violence with a sick sense of humor you’d expect from a 90s action film. Lots of bullets flying, axes swinging, fistfights, deaths by giant hooks and harpoon guns, and a constant barrage of bad guys for Statham to kill in bloody ways; all that good shit. 

            There’s really not much to say about this movie; if you enjoyed films such as The Beekeeper and A Working Man or even Richet’s other projects, then you’ll probably have a good time with Mutiny. It’s silly, violent, completely absurd, and fueled by Jason Statham’s charisma- the ultimate 90s action flick…that wasn’t released until 2026! 

Tony review

TONY: 

A RECIPE FOR A VERY HIGH-QUALITY MOVIE! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: **** out of 4

A24

Dominic Sessa in Tony

 

            A24 goes to the kitchen in their latest film, Tony, the new movie from director Matt Johnson (BlackBerry, Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie), and a biopic on celebrity chef and author Anthony Bourdain. I should make this clear before I get started: I know nothing about the real-life Anthony Bourdain, so everything about this film is new territory for me. 

            I saw the trailer a few times, thought it looked good, and I’m always onboard to see Antonio Banderas (Desperado, Spy Kids franchise, Shrek franchise) in a movie, so, yeah, it’s pretty safe to assume that I would end up seeing this. I don’t know how this movie is sitting with those familiar with Antonio Bourdain; for me though, I fucking dug the Hell out of this film. 

            I thought this was a very solid and engaging movie that’s in equal parts funny and heartfelt, with outstanding performances by Dominic Sessa (The Holdovers, Tow, Now You See Me: Now You Don’t) and Banderas. It’s easily the most entertaining movie about cooking I’ve seen since The Menu, and thankfully, this one doesn’t end with a ritualistic sacrifice involving giants’moress. 

            The film follows 19-year-old college student Anthony “Tony” Bourdain (Sessa), who aspires to be a writer, is rejected for a writing fellowship, and thus has to find a job. An unnamed restaurant owner and Chef (Banderas) takes Tony in when he finds himself short on money to get home and hires him to work in the restaurant after he lies to Vatel about his experience in the kitchen while getting into all kinds of mischief with the other cooks and learning important lessons along the way. 

            The film also stars Emilia Jones (Horrible Histories, CODA, The Running Man (2025)) as Nancy, Dagmura Domińczyk (Succession, Bottoms, Priscilla) as Tony’s mother Gladys Sacksman Bourdain, Rich Sommer (The Devil Wears Prada, Hello, My Name Is Doris, BlackBerry) as Tony’s father Pierre Bourdain, Stavros Halkias (Let’s Start a Cult, Tires, Bugonia) as…well, Stavros, Leo Woodall (One Day, Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy, Tuner) as Sal, and Monica Raymund (The Good Wife, Chicago Fire, Bros) as Mary. 

            Overall, Tony has all the ingredients to produce a delectable movie that’s entertaining to watch and makes you want to find out more about the real person. The film very early on mentions that the young Anthony Bourdain was kind of an asshole in his early days, and this film succeeds in the difficult task of making said asshole endearing thanks to good writing and direction and a phenomenal performance by Dominic Sesa, who just knocked it out of the park. 

            I was amazed by his breakthrough performance in The Holdovers, and Sesa continues showing off his skills here; he is electrifying as Tony, a man with a clear passion for food and his craftsmanship but is also struggling with his own personal demons. He does a great job flip-flopping between being incredibly charming and likable to bitter and troubled without the switch ever feeling spontaneous. 

            Antonio Banderas, though, is a scene-stealer as Chef, who is the heart and soul of the film, a man who cares for his food and his restaurants and asks for his employees to have the same amount of commitment and love as he does. Both he and Sesa have incredible chemistry, and it’s wonderful seeing them interact with each other whether in comedic, heartfelt, or dramatic ways. 

            Leo Woodall, hot off of Tune,r which I really enjoyed this year, is also amazing as Tony’s aggressive co-worker, Sal, al who could argue is a human embodiment of Tony’s darker side. Woodall’s Sal and Banderas’ Chef are almost like a yin and yang of Tony, and it’s not always clear what side he’s going to land on during a scene,e which I thought was a very clever way to utilize these two characters and actors. 

            Like I said at the beginning of the review, I have no idea how this movie will resonate with Anthony Bourdain aficionados since I knew absolutely nothing about him until after seeing the film. I personally found Tony to be a very captivating, tightly written, and at times heartfelt story about a lost man trying to make a name for himself and his successes coming in the most unexpected of places, with praise-worthy performances by its cast and sincere direction from Matt Johnson; it’s a delicious, delicately crafted feast of a film. 

PAW Patrol: The Dino Movie review

PAW PATROL: THE DINO MOVIE: 

THIRD RESCUE PUPPY ADVENTURE IS MORE OF THE SAME, JUST ADD DINOSAURS! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

PARAMOUNT ANIMATION AND NICKELODEON MOVIES

The PAW Patrol and a prehistoric new friend in PAW Patrol: The Dino Movie

 

            Ryder and his team of rescue pups are back for another adventure in PAW Patrol: The Dino Movie, the third film based on Nickelodeon’s PAW Patrol animated series. Well, in case you missed my reviews for 2021’s PAW Patrol: The Movie and 2023’s PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie, I guess I’ll give my quick thoughts on the franchise once again. 

            PAW Patrol came out when I was in college, so I was way past watching shows like this, but I definitely saw the appeal when I decided to check out the first movie, which was a perfectly serviceable kids' movie with a decent amount of imagination and heart; same goes for the sequel where the PAW Patrol gets superpowers. 

            Now we have this third movie where the PAW Patrol befriends dinosaurs, as if this franchise couldn’t pander to children any more (I should be expecting aliens and pirates in future films). I knew what I was getting into having seen the first two and…yeah, PAW Patrol: The Dino Movie gives exactly what it promises. 

            Like its predecessors, this is a perfectly fine movie that I’m sure young kids will lose their minds over while parents will be clenching their wallets tightly. Also, like the other movies, the film balances out its commercialism and pandering with creativity and some heartfelt moments; this isn’t Oogieloves or Barney’s Great Adventure, you can tell the people behind it are trying to make a good movie first. 

            The film follows Ryder (voiced this time by Henry Bolan) and the PAW Patrol crash-landing on a mysterious dinosaur-populated island after a storm, where they meet Rex (voiced by Hayden Chamberlain), a puppy who’s been on the island for years and is an expert on all things dino-related. But when the evil Mayor Humdinger (voiced once again by Ron Pardo) plots a mining excursion on the dinosaur island to farm diamonds that threatens the island itself and the firefighter dalmatian, Marshall (voiced by Carter Young) begins to feel insecure about his clumsiness, the PAW Patrol will have to strap in and save the day and learn important lessons about what it takes to be a hero. 

            The film also features the voices of Rain Janjua as Chase, Mckenna Grace (Ghostbusters franchise, Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, Scream 7) reprising her role as Skye, William Desrosiers as Rocky, Nylan Parthipan reprising his role as Zuma, Terry Crews (Everybody Hates Chris, Idiocracy, Brooklyn Nine-Nine) as Alistair Stonewall, Meredith MacNeill (Man Stroke Woman, Baroness von Sketch Show, Pretty Hard Cases) as Harper Cutlass, Jennifer Hudson (The Secret Life of Bees, Chi-Raq, Goat) as Lilian Ledes, Fortune Feimster (The Mindy Project, The L World: Generation Q, Zootopia 2) as Eugenia Bunson, Jameela Jamil (The Good Place, DC League of Super-Pets, Elio) as Heidi Pothesis, Bill Nye (Bill Nye the Science Guy) as Dr. Theo Rising, Snoop Dogg (Starsky & Hutch, The Addams Family 1 and 2, The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run) who I’m convinced was hired because of his name as Dave, and Paris Hilton (House of Wax (2005), Repo! The Genetic Opera, The Bling Ring) as Nancy.

            Overall, PAW Patrol: The Dino Movie knows exactly what it is and will be best enjoyed by its young target audience, but there are sparks of creativity and heart to put it above your average, pandering children’s movie. Yes, it is a movie based on a franchise made to sell toys, and believe me, there are several scenes where you can see the cynicism, but it understands basic filmmaking first and foremost and works the commercialism around the story. 

            Keep in mind, the story is about as basic as you could get, as this film is aimed at very young kids, and there aren’t any shocking revelations or game-changing storytelling that will make moviegoers look at animation in an entirely different way. No, it’s just a fun, colorful, and disposable adventure for kids, and as far as those go, this is fine. 

            If you’re going into this expecting Toy Story 5, you’re gonna have a bad time because it is far from that caliber. However, while the film doesn’t exactly excel at storytelling, there is some solid craftsmanship in the animation and action scenes. 

            There is one brilliant action sequence involving two human characters hanging on a grappling hook wire that’s suspended between two moving PAW Patrol vehicles, and it honestly felt like something out of an Indiana Jones movie (Old school Indy, not grumpy old man Indy from Dial of Boredom). I’ve always expected the PAW Patrol action scenes to be very standard, but that sequence was executed very well. 

            The movie also has some decent character moments, namely the ones surrounding Marshall the Dalmatian, who feels guilty about being clumsy and always messing things up for the team. The scenes where Ryder is comforting Marshall and telling him it’s okay and that he’s the dog who never gave up are actually pretty touching and felt more natural than Skye feeling insecure about her size in the last movie. 

            I’ve said it before, PAW Patrol isn’t really my thing, but I can certainly see young children being completely engrossed and captivated by the franchise just by my experiences of watching these three films. Cute doggies, tech, transforming cars and vehicles, superpowers, dinosaurs- all that stuff kids love while also teaching them bold lessons along the way, so, in my book, these pups are okay. 

            These movies aren’t the modern-day equivalent of the Sesame Street movie, Follow That Bird (Which actually is a fantastic movie), but the PAW Patrol films are harmless fluff with enough imagination and genuine sweetness to anchor it past being a soulless, manufactured kids franchise. If you've got kids who want to see it, strap in; and if not…eh, go see The Odyssey or Spider-Man: Brand New Day again, or perhaps the other dinosaur-themed movie that just came out, The End of Oak Street. 

The End of Oak Street review

THE END OF OAK STREET: 

DINOSAURS INVADE THE 80s! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

WARNER BROS. PICTURES

Ewan McGregor, Christian Convery, Maisy Stella, and Anne Hathaway in The End of Oak Street

 

            A family must fight to survive a dinosaur attack in The End of Oak Street, the new film from director David Robert Mitchell (It Follows, Under the Silver Lake) and producer J.J. Abrams (Star Trek franchise, Super 8, Star Wars franchise). Truth be told, it takes a lot to impress me with dinosaurs in movies these days, and the cause of that is the subpar quality of Jurassic Park’s sequels which, while some are better than others, never quite recaptured the magic of the 1993 groundbreaking original. 

            On the surface, this seemed like another movie where dinosaurs rampage through modern-ish times (The film is set in the 1980s) and trying to capitalize on the success of Jurassic Park. Still, I was curious to see how this film would turn out. I really enjoyed It Follows and thought it was one of the best horror films of the 2010s and one of the best movies in general from 2015…The End of Oak Street doesn’t quite reach that level of praise, but I was entertained. 

            This is a pure dumb popcorn movie, and I mean that in the best way; it’s a film that knows it’s silly and has fun with its absurd premise, but unlike the majority of Jurassic Park sequels, it actually has a brain and, surprisingly, a heart amidst all the chaos. If you ask me, this is the best Jurassic Park sequel (or prequel given the time period) that just isn’t called Jurassic Park. 

            The film is set in 1982 and follows Denise (Anne Hathaway-The Devil Wears Prada 1 and 2, The Dark Knight Rises, The Odyssey) and Greg Platt (Ewan McGregor-Star Wars franchise, Big Fish, Doctor Sleep) and their two children, Audrey (Maisy Stella-Nashville, My Old Ass, The Man I Love) and Brian (Christian Convery-Cocaine Bear, The Monkey, Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein) living in a suburban neighborhood on Oak Street. But when a mysterious light flashes over the neighborhood, the Platts find themselves attacked by dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures and must fight to survive and figure out what happened and how. 

            The film also stars P.J. Byrne (The Legend of Korra, The Wolf of Wall Street, A Complete Unknown) as Mel Jacobs, Emily Kuroda (Gilmore Girls, RED, Strange World) as Mrs. Valcourt, and the late Hudson Meek (90 Minutes in Heaven, Baby Driver, The School Duel) as Kaden Tucker. 

            Overall, The End of Oak Street probably won’t leave a T-Rex-sized footprint on cinema like the original Jurassic Park, but those looking for a silly, over-the-top summer blockbuster where dinosaurs attack people should get their fill with this. Sure, it’s not a perfect film, and there are some issues with the narrative, but I found this to be a very enjoyable ride from beginning to end. 

            The dinosaur sequences are very exhilarating and honestly, a little grisly at times, especially for a 2020s PG-13 film. It definitely has that 80s PG tone where people get killed in intense ways, whether it’s being ripped to shreds by pterodactyls or an Allosaurus gnawing off a man’s leg and eating him alive; unlike the sanitary Marvel PG-13, End of Oak Street is a hard PG-13 that earns it. 

            The overall plot is interesting, though I would need to go into spoilers to properly describe it, but it was fascinating to see everything unfold about why there are suddenly dinosaurs attacking a neighborhood. Granted, some things don’t make sense, and I felt the ending, while mostly executed well, was a bit of a cop-out; that’s all I’ll say. 

            Most of the acting was fine, but Anne Hathaway is really damn good in this, and between End of Oak Street and The Odyssey, this really was her summer. She brings her A-game and acts her ass off in this silly movie about people fighting dinosaurs; she even outshines McGregor. 

            I also thought the movie nailed the early-80s setting very well and often reminded me of old-school Spielberg in terms of the tone, production design, and character archetypes. I guess it makes sense that it reminded me of Spielberg since the film’s producer, J.J. Abrams, directed a giant Spielberg homage with Super 8 in 2011. 

            Despite this being a more mainstream movie, there are some aspects of It Follows’ filmmaking here where something quietly creeps from behind in the background and charges at the protagonists, with a suspenseful buildup to the main threats. Like I said, Super 8 was like a hodgepodge of J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg; this is a hodgepodge of David Robert Mitchell and J.J. Abrams in terms of the production. 

            The End of Oak Street won’t become a game-changing dinosaur classic like the first Jurassic Park, but it’s everything its sequels, including the Jurassic World movies, aren’t. It’s dumb, it’s loud, and it’s fun with just enough of a brain and compelling characters to give it credibility. 

            The Odyssey and Spider-Man: Brand New Day are still the definitive summer releases out in theaters now, but if you’ve already seen them and are looking for something mindless and goofy with a splash of intelligence, this might be your dino adventure.