Knights of the Zodiac review

KNIGHTS OF THE ZODIAC: 

LIVE-ACTION FILM ADAPTATION OF BELOVED MANGA/ANIME IS ANYTHING BUT IMMORTAL! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: * out of 4

STAGE 6 FILMS

Mackenyu, Diego Tinoco, Famke Janssen, Madison Iseman, Sean Bean, and Mark Dacascos in Knights of the Zodiac

 

            In the tradition of Speed Racer, Dragonball: Evolution, and Ghost in the Shell, the world of Saint Seiya hits the big screen in Knights of the Zodiac, the latest attempt at adapting a beloved manga/anime into a live-action feature film. I should make this clear before we begin, I have never read the original Saint Seiya: Knights of the Zodiac manga and the only time I was ever exposed to the anime series was seeing one or two episodes of it on Cartoon Network’s Toonami block 20 or so years ago and never thought about it since until hearing about the new movie. 

            Unlike other films based on a manga or anime where I at least had a basic understanding of the source material even if I didn’t read/watch it regularly, I don’t remember what I initially thought of the episode(s) I saw in the early-mid 2000s nor do I remember the main plot or who the characters are. With that said, I wasn’t familiar with the Alita: Battle Angel source material and thought the film version of that was pretty solid, probably the only good live-action adaptation of a Japanese manga or anime (Actually, I don’t think the 2017 Ghost in the Shell is terrible either, Scarlet Johansson casting not withstanding!). 

            So, I will be judging this as a standalone film and if this is an accurate adaptation of the source material, no thanks! Again, I don’t know how faithful it is to the manga or anime, but as a movie this is terrible and not even in a so bad it’s good way like Speed Racer nor is it memorably bad like Dragonball: Evolution. 

            The film follows headstrong street teen, Seiya (Mackenyu-Pacific Rim: Uprising, Tokyo Ghoul S, Rurouni Kenshin: The Final) spending his time fighting for cash while searching for his abducted sister. But when one of his fights unwittingly taps into mystical powers he never knew he had, Seiya finds himself thrust into a world of warring saints, ancient magical training, and a reincarnated goddess (Madison Iseman-Jumanji 2 and 3, Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween, Annabelle Comes Home) in need of his protection. 

            The film also stars Famke Janssen (Goldeneye, X-Men franchise, The Blacklist: Redemption) as the villainous Guraad, Diego Tinoco (On My Block, R#J) as Nero the Phoenix Knight, Mark Dacascos (Cradle 2 the Grave, John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum, Batman: Soul of the Dragon) as Mylock, Nick Stahl (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Sin City, Fear the Walking Dead) as Cassios, and Sean Bean (Goldeneye, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV) as Alman Kiddo. 

            Overall, Knights of the Zodiac continues the trend of Hollywood failing to effectively bring a popular Japanese source material to the screen and adapt it for mainstream audiences. I can’t speak for fans of the source material, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they rip this film apart the same way they did with Dragonball: Evolution. 

            Even as a newcomer who only watched one or two episodes of the anime as a kid years ago and went into this movie blind, nothing about it stands out as either exciting or memorable. If anything, I feel like I now know even less about Knights of the Zodiac than I did going in which again, wasn’t much. 

            This is supposed to be a self-contained film that doesn’t require any knowledge of the source material in order to follow it or enjoy. So, if a casual moviegoer like me is sitting here constantly questioning what the point of the film is and not getting invested in any of the characters that had decades of history then you’ve already failed. 

            It’s a quite an accomplishment to make a film where I don’t care about a single character in it due to them being either underdeveloped or flat-out insufferable. I despise this version of Seiya and the fact that he’s supposed to be our main character certainly didn’t do him any favors. 

            I haven’t seen much Mackenyu in other movies or shows and I’m sure he’s a talented actor, but most of his performance in this consisted of lame one-liners and just being an obnoxious jackass throughout most of the film. Granted, they do try to make his character somewhat sympathetic by giving him a tragic backstory with his sister being kidnapped at a young age, but when you hear him constantly make dumb jokes and complain about the current situation, he honestly makes Goku from Dragonball: Evolution and every single protagonist from the Last Airbendermovie look like Luke Skywalker by comparison with the only joy I get out of him is seeing him in pain. 

            Everyone else is very one-note and speak in this really dry, monotone voice throughout the film with lazy exposition dumps in place of character development. The only standout performance is Nick Stahl as Cassios, a brute fighter turned evil cyborg who is not written especially well, but Stahl is having a ball hamming it up as this over-the-top, cartoony henchman and the only sense of humanity this film has. 

            Speaking of fighting, the action sequences are dreadful with an overabundance of cheap-looking CGI on par with a video game. I’ve given some of the MCU movies a bit of flak in terms of excessive CGI in the past, but at least they still do cool things with them even if they don’t always look realistic, not the case here. 

            This is Dragonball: Evolution (Which I’m sure I haven’t mentioned enough times during this review!) and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation level action with constant CGI and green screens clearly being used as a replacement for practical effects and decent fight choreography. To the point where the action is so digital and fake-looking that the characters fighting don’t have any weight to themselves nor do you feel any impact when one of them strikes a blow, this is the kind of action garbage that was best left in the late 90s and early 2000s, not 2023, the year after Avatar: The Way of Water (Now imagine Zack Snyder directing Dragonball: Evolution’s action, I’m not kidding!). 

            The plot is also one of those uninspired chosen one stories that we’ve heard a million times before with nothing new or interesting added to it. No point in elaborating on that so I will just pretend I said nothing. 

            What was the point of this movie? With a thin narrative, uninspired CG effects, and poor characterization, Knights of the Zodiac is yet another failed attempt at adapting a beloved anime into a live-action feature film. Dragonball: Evolution is probably a worse movie, but at least I remember how much of a giant dumpster fire it was and a huge slap in the face to a great source material, this is like driving past a dumpster fire, acknowledging it for a minute, and then moving along, never speaking of or thinking about it ever again.