The Meg review

THE MEG:

JASON STATHAM BATTLES A GIANT SHARK, IT’S ABOUT AS STUPID AS IT SOUNDS, BUT SO MUCH CHEESY B-MOVIE FUN!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** ½ out of 4

WARNER BROS. PICTURES

Megalodon is “Pleased to Eat You” in The Meg

            From director, Jon Turteltaub (Cool Runnings, Phenomenon, National Treasure 1 and 2) comes the new shark attack movie, The Meg. The film is based on Steve Alten’s 1997 book, Meg: A Novel of Deep Terror, and no I haven’t read the book, so I don’t know how faithful it is to the source material.

            I don’t think I need to read a book to understand the plot of a shark movie because let’s face it, what more can you do after Steven Spielberg’s groundbreaking film, Jaws? On the surface (pun intended) most shark movies follow the exact same formula, there’s a hungry shark on the loose and a group of people need to stop it, very little variety aside from Syfy’s infamous Sharknado franchise.

            The movie apparently had a long development history dating back to the 90s where the film rights to the book were purchased by Disney and they were all set to release a movie under their now-defunct Hollywood Pictures label. However, the production was stalled by 1999 and the rights were purchased by New Line Cinema in 2005 with names such as Speed and Twister director, Jan de Bont, Hellboy and Pan’s Labyrinth director, Guillermo del Toro, and Armageddon writer, Shane Salerno, but the production was cancelled, and it remained in development hell until Turteltaub and Warner Bros. stepped in.

            Well, the movie’s finally made and released, how’s the movie? It delivers exactly what it advertises, a crappy B-movie creature feature with Jason Statham (The Transporter, Crank, Fast & Furious franchise) battling a giant shark with some really corny dialogue, it’s stupid, ridiculous fun. No, this is not in any way a good movie, it’s terrible but quite enjoyable in how bad and over-the-top it is.

            When a deep-sea submersible, part of an undersea observation program, is suddenly attacked by a massive creature previously thought to be extinct, and leaving it disabled in the deepest trench in the Pacific with the crew trapped inside, expert rescue diver, Jonas Taylor (Statham) is called in by Chinese oceanographer, Dr. Minway Zhang (Winston Chao-The Wedding Banquet, Red Rose White Rose, Kabali) to save the crew from this monstrous threat, a 75-foot-long prehistoric shark known as the Megalodon. What no one imagined is that Taylor has encountered the same creature before several years ago, and now he must confront his fear and risk his own life to save everyone trapped below, and possibly a bunch of other people on a beach ala Jaws.

            The film also stars Li Bingbing (The Forbidden Kingdom, Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame, Transformers: Age of Extinction) as Suyin Zhang, Rainn Wilson (The Office, Super, Cooties) as Jack Morris, Cliff Curtis (Whale Rider, Live Free or Die Hard, Fear the Walking Dead) as James “Mac” Mackreides, Ruby Rose (XXX: Return of Xander Cage, John Wick: Chapter 2, Pitch Perfect 3) as Jaxx Herd, Page Kennedy (Weeds, S.W.A.T., Bones) as DJ, Robert Taylor (The Matrix, Vertical Limit, Kong: Skull Island) as Dr. Heller, Jessica McNamee (Packed to the Rafters, Sirens, Battle of the Sexes) as Lori, Ólafur Darri Ólafsson (The Deep, True Detective, A Walk Among the Tombstones) as The Wall, and Masi Oka (Heroes, Hawaii Five-0, Death Note) as Toshi.

            Overall, The Meg doesn’t quite live up to other corny shark films like Deep Blue Sea, Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus, or Sharknado, and it isn’t even close to matching the quality and sheer terror of Jaws. But when the film is aware of its absurdity and has fun with its premise, it’s a blast with all sorts of ridiculous shark thrills and Statham pretty much acting like an aggressive version of Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws.

            There is so much to make fun of with this movie, in fact having some drinks and getting high might actually improve your enjoyment with The Meg. From the clichéd story, predictable deaths, cardboard cutout characters and shark movie stereotypes, Jaws “Homages”, and even the soundtrack.

I $%^& you not the song, Hey Mickey, usually associated with the movie, Bring it On plays twice in the movie, and the second time is during the end credits. It’s so out of place and doesn’t match the tone of the film at all that I couldn’t help but laugh.

Unfortunately, there isn’t much on the surface to keep the audience invested, aside from Statham most of the characters are extremely forgettable and whenever the movie takes a break from all the shark action to attempt to establish its characters or give exposition, it can be a slog to get through. This is one of those times where a movie shouldn’t focus on its characters, this is supposed to be a B-movie with a giant shark, be goofy and over-the-top without having to worry about giving characters motivations because when there isn’t a shark on-screen, the film is actually kind of dull.

Thankfully, the movie makes up for its dull moments with all the deliciously bloody chomping, stabbings, and explosive creature feature thrills. If you’re a fan of “So bad it’s good” movies and especially if you love crappy shark movies, The Meg is definitely worth a dive.