Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore review

FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE: 

A SLIGHT IMPROVEMENT OVER THE LAST FILM, BUT SADLY DOESN’T QUITE HAVE THE MAGIC THAT MADE HARRY POTTER SO CAPTIVATING! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** ½ out of 4

WARNER BROS. PICTURES

Eddie Redmayne, Jude Law, and Mads Mikkelsen in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

 

            The Wizarding World is back in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore, the third installment of the Fantastic Beasts franchise chronicling a world of wizards long before Harry Potter. The film is once again directed by David Yates, who has also directed several Harry Potter films with Eddie Redmayne (Elizabeth: The Golden Age, The Theory of Everything, The Danish Girl) and Jude Law (The Talented Mr. Ripley, Cold Mountain, Sherlock Holmes 1 and 2) reprising their roles as Newt Scamander and Albus Dumbledore. 

            I’m not going to go into detail about my thoughts on every Harry Potter movie, because if I did this review would probably be like ten pages long (or longer), so condensed review of all the Harry Potter movies, I think they’re all really solid fantasy adventures that faithfully capture the spirit of J.K. Rowling’s books (I read a good chunk of them as a child around the time the films were coming out) with a lot of imagination, exciting action, and memorable stories and characters and despite the main series ending in 2011, the adventures of Harry, Ron, and Hermione are absolutely timeless, almost as much as Star Wars or The Lord of the Rings. 

            Obviously, because of Harry Potter’s success, it only makes sense to milk it as much as possible, in comes Fantastic Beasts, a series of prequel films loosely based on a book Rowling wrote of the same name. The first Fantastic Beasts movie, I thought was a decent film that expanded on the world of Harry Potter and while the characters weren’t nearly as memorable as the Harry Potter characters, they were extremely likable, the second one however, I think most people agree was a very disappointing, overcomplicated, and often dull follow-up that was too focused on Harry Potterfan service and references over telling an engaging story. 

            Which brings us to this film and the good news is The Secrets of Dumbledore is an improvement over Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald…the bad news is that’s kind of all it has going for it. This one at least has glimmers of that Harry Potter magic, and the acting is once again top notch, but sadly the Wizarding World magic is sprinkled into large chunks of exposition and dialogue that would have been fine in a book, but not in a feature film. 

            The film follows Albus Dumbledore (Law) enlisting the help of magizoologist, Newt Scamander (Redmayne) to lead a team of wizards, witches, and his muggle baker friend, Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler-Horton Hears a Who, Kung Fu Panda, The Walking Dead) to stop the powerful dark wizard, Gellert Grindelwald (Mads Mikkelsen-Casino Royale, Doctor Strange, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, replacing Johnny Depp) who plots to seize control of the wizarding world. How? Through a dragon/deer creature that has the power to predict elections (Yes, really!).

            Oh, and while all that’s going on, Jacob is hoping to reconcile with his old flame, Queenie (Alison Sudol-Other People’s Children, Between Us, The Last Full Measure) who has been seduced by Grindelwald’s power. 

            The film also stars Ezra Miller (The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Trainwreck, DC Extended Universe) reprising his role as Credence Barebone, Callum Turner (Queen and Country, Green Room, Emma (2020)) reprising his role as Theseus Scamander, Jessica Williams (2 Dope Queens, Hot Tub Time Machine 2, Booksmart) as Professor Lally, and Katherine Waterston (Michael Clayton, Robot & Frank, Alien: Covenant) reprising her role as Tina Goldstein. 

            Overall, Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore is a slight improvement over the last film, and it does try to bring back some of that Harry Potter magic, but the plot is about as standard and forgettable as The Crimes of Grindelwald which doesn’t amount to much sadly. It isn’t a terrible movie, but it feels very uninspired and manufactured for the sake of making bank for Warner Bros. and it could really use some of that good old fashioned Wizarding World imagination and sense of fun. 

            To me, this is basically the Harry Potter equivalent of Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace as it relies on a lot (and I mean a lot) of exposition dumping and political talk. To the point where the climax is literally an election…from a franchise that gave us Harry Potter battling a giant snake and a war between wizards and Voldemort’s army. 

            I’ll give the first movie credit that it at least felt like an expansion on the Harry Potter universe and aside from some references and callbacks, it was doing its own thing. Crimes of Grindelwald and this movie just seemed like they were made because the studio really wanted to make more Harry Potter movies but without calling them Harry Potter. 

            The first Fantastic Beasts lives up to its title, a bunch of “Fantastic Beasts” are unleashed upon the wizarding world and Newt and friends have to catch them all (Kind of like a Harry Potter version of Pokémon!). This one, aside from a few scenes, there aren’t many “Fantastic Beasts” in this Fantastic Beasts movie and is instead about an army of wizards going up against an evil wizard and his dark forces (Didn’t we see that already in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2…and done a lot better in that movie?). 

            I had a problem with the Harry Potter callbacks in The Crimes of Grindelwald and honestly, I think they’re worse here. There’s nothing wrong with references and callbacks to your earlier films if done right, but if you don’t know when enough is enough, it gets old extremely fast, Remember Hogwarts? Remember Quidditch? Remember House Points? Remember Hufflepuff and Slytherin? Remember the music from Harry Potter? I’m serious, I got so sick of hearing the original Harry Potter music in this movie that I kept thinking “Man, I wish I was watching one of the regular Harry Potter movies instead of this slog!”. 

            I just saw Sonic the Hedgehog 2 last week which had a ton of references and callbacks, but they never overshadowed the story and characters. This along with Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker should be textbook examples of how not to do fan service in your successful film series. 

            If there’s one positive, I have is that the acting is really good. Jude Law does an excellent job as young Dumbledore and finds a good midway point between both of the actors who portrayed him in the original films, Redmayne is likable as this awkward but charming magizoologist, the actors playing Jacob and Queenie have great chemistry, and Mads Mikkelsen is amazing as Grindelwald and a huge improvement over Depp because while he is a powerhouse actor, I couldn’t take his version of the character seriously and his appearance seemed off, Mikkelsen is delightfully wicked and a lot more intimidating. 

            Sadly, despite the cast’s efforts, Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore is a mostly generic fantasy film that only Harry Potter purists should even bother to go see.   

Ambulance review

AMBULANCE:

ANOTHER “BAYHEM-FILLED” ACTION EXTRAVAGANZA, BUT WITH A SURPRISING AMOUNT OF TENSION AND HEART! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, and Eiza González in Michael Bay’s Ambulance

 

            A couple of bank robbers hijack an ambulance and all Hell breaks loose in Ambulance, the new film directed by Michael Bay (The Rock, The Island, Transformers franchise) and the director’s first theatrically released film since 2017’s Transformers: The Last Knight. In a world where film buffs love to rip this guy apart for how he ruined the Transformers franchise, I’m one of the few who’s mostly indifferent to him, I don’t love him, but I don’t hate him either. 

            Sure, he’s made movies before that I hated like some of the Transformers sequels, Pearl Harbor, and Bad Boys II, but he also made a lot that I was entertained by (The Rock, Bad Boys 1, The Island, Transformers 1, 13 Hours, etc.). With him, I always know what kind of movie it’ll be but I’m not 100% sure whether it’s going to be good or bad. 

            Which leads us to Ambulance, which I was intrigued by when I first saw the trailer, though I will admit a lot of it looked very shaky, even for a Michael Bay film with a lot of fast editing, moving cameras, and sweeping shots of the city. However, it also looked like it was going to be heavy on emotion and characters and if it’s anything like Bay’s 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, I’m all in. 

            After seeing the movie, I can say that it lives up to the trailers and I mean that in a positive way. It’s not a great movie, but I was very entertained by it and emotionally invested in the story and characters, which is strange given that this man is known for blowing sh*t up. 

            The film is set in Los Angeles and follows Will Sharp (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II-Aquaman, Candyman (2021), The Matrix Resurrections), a down on his luck war veteran and family man who is desperate for money to cover his wife’s medical bills. He asks for help from his adoptive brother, Danny (Jake Gyllenhaal-Brokeback Mountain, Prisoners, Spider-Man: Far From Home) who is a notorious bank robber and he gives him the perfect opportunity to get the money he needs, by participating in a high-stakes bank robbery. 

            But when the heist goes horribly wrong, the two brothers hijack an ambulance with a wounded cop clinging for his life and ace EMT, Cam Thompson (Eiza González-Baby Driver, Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, Godzilla VS Kong) onboard. In a never-ending, high-speed car chase, Will and Danny will need to evade a massive, city-wide law enforcement response, keep both hostages alive, and try to not kill each other in the most insane escape in L.A. history. 

            The film also stars Garret Dillahunt (Fear the Walking Dead, Looper, 12 Years a Slave) as Captain Monroe, Keir O’Donnell (Wedding Crashers, The Break-Up, American Sniper) as FBI Agent Anson Clark, Jackson White (Mrs. Fletcher, SPF-18) as Officer Zach, Moses Ingram (The Queen’s Gambit, The Tragedy of Macbeth, Obi-Wan Kenobi) as Amy Sharp, Colin Woodell (Unfriended: Dark Web, The Originals, The Call of the Wild (2020)) as EMT Scott, A Martinez (General Hospital, The Cowboys, Curse of Chucky) as Papi, Jesse Garcia (The Shield, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Re-Kill) as Roberto, Jose Pablo Cantillo (Crank, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead) as Jesus, Wale as Castro, and Victor Gojcaj (The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009), Unstoppable, The Forger) as Victor. 

            Overall, Ambulance is a tension-building, adrenaline pumping thrill ride and a long overdue return to form for Michael Bay. Granted, it does have a lot of his signature tropes that would normally get annoying after a while like shaky cams, fast editing, and overblown action sequences, but this is one of those times where all of that surprisingly works. 

            I think why Michael Bay’s directing style works in something like this and not in his Transformers sequels is that in Transformers, we want to appreciate the size and scope of what’s on the screen and his fast editing and shaky cameras distract from it, whereas with this it adds to the grittiness of what’s going on in the film. The movie is essentially a long car chase through the streets of L.A. with an ambulance so of course, Michael Bay is going to shake the camera, do a bunch of quick cuts, and cause some explosions and it never feels cluttered and you can make it all out. 

            So yeah, I guess this is Michael Bay’s equivalent of the Sonic the Hedgehog filmmakers redesigning Sonic after so much backlash. He listened to the criticisms people had with many of his films and toned some of his tropes down while still retaining a lot of them for his trademark filmmaking style. 

            The action sequences are really exhilarating and has a lot of tension and stakes, arguably the most impactful being a surgery scene inside the ambulance that needs to be performed while avoiding police. It was a life-or-death situation and it had me on the edge of my seat unsure of what the outcome was going to be. 

            I was also really invested in the characters and the actors’ performances; Jake Gyllenhaal is a treasure in this movie as a bank robber who shifts between being cool and charming to a full-on psychopath and you’re not always certain of what he’s going to do. Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is also great as his adoptive brother who participates in the heist so he could provide for his family which adds a level of humanity to these criminals, and you do feel this brotherly bond between him and Gyllenhaal’s characters. 

            For me, the real standout is Eiza González as Cam who can be best described as a Michael Bay female character done right. Yes, she’s hot but she isn’t flaunting her body all the damn time nor is she an accessory for the male protagonists, she stands up for herself when in danger, has a likable personality, and she’s the one who performs the surgery during the chase, I’m hoping Bay will continue to model future female characters off of this one because it’s easily his best. 

            While I enjoyed this movie a lot, it isn’t a perfect film, there is still quite a bit of juvenile humor in it, most notably references to Bay’s other films like The Rock and Bad Boys that feel very forced (Thankfully, it isn’t nearly as obvious as putting a Bad Boys II poster up in the middle of a scene in Transformers 2!). Also, the climax is a bit underwhelming, and I felt it should have stopped after a certain point, but it kept going and I started to slightly check out. 

            Despite its flaws, Ambulance is a solid Michael Bay film that I strongly recommend checking out. I can’t promise a masterpiece, but if you’re looking for something reminiscent to Bay’s Bad Boys and The Rock days, take a ride on this “Ambulance” as soon as possible. 

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 review

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2: 

SEQUEL FULLY EMBRACES ITS VIDEO GAME ROOTS! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** ½ out of 4

PARAMOUNT PICTURES AND SEGA

Sonic and Knuckles (& Knuckles) in Sonic the Hedgehog 2

 

            The blue blur is back for a new adventure in Sonic the Hedgehog 2, the highly anticipated follow-up to enormously successful 2020 film based on the iconic Sega video game series. If you read my review of the first film (and especially the longer version of that review!) then you know that I’m a huge fan of Sonic the Hedgehog and grew up on his games, cartoons, comic books, etc. and through several ups and downs during his history, I’ve always retained my Sonic fandom, even when a game bites the dust I can still go back to the ones that stuck the landing. 

            The first film, I thought was a decent, if not formulaic kids’ movie with a lot of fun action, silly dialogue, and a very likable charm as well as some cute little callbacks to the Sonic the Hedgehog lore that longtime fans will appreciate and a delightfully bonkers performance from Jim Carrey (The Mask, Liar Liar, The Truman Show) as the villainous, Dr. Robotnik…or Eggman. It wasn’t quite the Sonic movie I wanted to see as a kid, but I enjoyed it and I kept coming back to it in anticipation for a sequel because of the Tails teaser at the end of the first one, which leads us to where we are now. 

            In a year that saw the release of The Batman and upcoming blockbusters like Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Part One), this was one of my most anticipated films of 2022. The trailers looked like it was giving us a Sonic movie that’s much closer in spirit to the source material with the inclusion of Miles “Tails” Prower and Knuckles the Echidna, a more game-accurate Dr. Eggman, planes, snowboarding, Death Egg Robots, Chaos Emeralds, all that good stuff. 

            While the first one wasn’t the Sonic movie I wanted to see as a kid, this one certainly felt like it in terms of the marketing…and after coming out of the theater. I don’t know how this movie is doing with the public, but as a die-hard Sonic fan who had been playing and watching the character since childhood, I love the Hell out of this movie. 

            When I first heard they were making a Sonic movie, this was what I wanted to see, a film that fully embraces what the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise is by taking more of an adventure route rather than a buddy road trip and recreating several famous moments from the games and not just subtle references in the background. The first one felt more like a buddy road trip movie that just happens to have Sonic in it, this one however is a Sonic movie all the way through. 

            The film is set right after the events of the first film, and Dr. Robotnik has escaped the Mushroom Planet and formed an unlikely partnership with a vengeful echidna known as Knuckles (voiced by Idris Elba-The Wire, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Suicide Squad), who has a bit of a grudge with hedgehogs to say the least and the two of them set off to find the sacred, Master Emerald, a gem that harnesses Ultimate Power (as the film calls it) and can be used to destroy civilizations. Meanwhile, Sonic (voiced by Ben Schwartz-Parks and Recreation, House of Lies, DuckTales (2017)) has happily moved into the home of Donut Lord, Tom Wachowski (James Marsden-X-Men franchise, Hairspray (2007), Enchanted) and his wife, Maddie (Tika Sumpter-One Life to Live, Think Like a Man, Get on Up) and tries to help the public as a vigilante, but he’s…a little careless. 

            Sonic soon meets up with Tails (voiced by Colleen O’Shaughnessey, who had voiced the character since 2014’s Sonic Boom TV series), a two-tailed fox from another planet who comes to warn Sonic that Robotnik is back, and he and Knuckles are on a hunt for the Master Emerald. So, the two of them set off on an adventure to find it before Robotnik and Knuckles and save the world from destruction. 

            The film also stars Natasha Rothwell (Love, Simon, Like a Boss, Wonder Woman 1984) reprising her role as Rachel, Adam Pally (Assassination of a High School President, Taking Woodstock, Iron Man 3) reprising his role as Wade Whipple, Shemar Moore (DC Animated Universe) as Randall, Lee Majdoub (The 100, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency) reprising his role as Agent Stone, and Tom Butler (Sliders, Miracle, Snakes on a Plane) reprising his role as Commander Walters AKA The Olive Garden Guy. 

            Overall, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 gives fans of the long-running video game franchise exactly what they want to see and surpasses its predecessor in just about every way. Keep in mind, I thought the first film was a decent starting point with this one being the main event. 

            The story is much closer in spirit to the plot of a Sonic game as it revolves around Sonic teaming up with other anthropomorphic creatures to find magic emeralds, explore new worlds, and fight Eggman and his army of robots, a “Sonic Adventure” if you will. It’s the real deal, not Sonic and Cyclops going on a buddy road trip, it was cute the first time, but it wasn’t Sonic. 

            The characters are also improved upon from the first movie, Sonic is still this lovable but reckless and attitude-filled hero in training who’s trying to learn how to be responsible with his powers, Jim Carrey is once again having a ball as Dr. Robotnik and manages to blur the line between being hilariously over-the-top and goofy to legitimately threatening. The new characters, Tails and Knuckles are also a lot of fun, while Tails doesn’t quite have as many funny lines as Sonic or Eggman, but as this innocent and wide-eyed sidekick who wants to be like Sonic, you really buy their brotherly bond and there are quite a few heartfelt moments between the two, while Knuckles in this movie is sort of like the Sonic equivalent to Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy where he’s this badass brute with a serious attitude problem and most of his comedy comes from how he takes things extremely literally, also Idris Elba’s voice fits him perfectly with a disappearing, reappearing British accent. 

            Granted, the human characters are downplayed more this time around, they all have their moments to shine. Marsden is once again decent as Tom the Donut Lord and the scenes with him and Sonic, as a parental figure to him are pretty effective, Tika Sumpter is given a little more to do via a sub-plot with her and Natasha Rothwell sneaking into a military base that captured Sonic, which you could argue goes on for too long and brings the movie to a halt, but the sequence is so entertaining and funny that I just didn’t care. 

            The action sequences are pretty much flawless in terms of a Sonic movie, it isn’t just Sonic bouncing on Robotnik’s ship a bunch of times. If anything, this has the Sonic equivalent of a Marvel Cinematic Universe climax involving Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and the Death Egg Robot and like the final battle in Spider-Man: No Way Home, it made the little kid in me extremely happy, there were even moments during it where I got chills. 

            What more can I say? If you’re a Sonic fan, then do yourself a favor and see this movie, you won’t regret it. This film brought me back to my youth and I look forward to watching it again, all I got to say is bring on Sonic the Hedgehog 3 already. 

Everything Everywhere All at Once review

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE: 

MICHELLE YEOH BEATS DOCTOR STRANGE TO THE PUNCH IN THIS WILDLY ENTERTAINING TRIP THROUGH THE MULTIVERSE! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: **** out of 4

A24

Michelle Yeoh in Everything Everywhere All at Once

 

            Michelle Yeoh (Tomorrow Never Dies, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) takes a trip through the multiverse in Everything Everywhere All at Once, the new film from Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert AKA Daniels (Swiss Army Man, The Death of Dick Long) and produced by Anthony and Joe Russo (Marvel Cinematic Universe). The multiverse has become a very interesting topic in the world of film lately with movies such as Another Earth, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Spider-Man: No Way Home, and the upcoming, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness being some of the most talked-about films revolving around the concept. 

            But there comes a film that takes an idea like the multiverse and does something completely unique and bizarre with it, this is one of those films as it doesn’t revolve around superheroes in the multiverse but instead a middle-aged Chinese woman. I guess the only way I can describe it is like a mix of Doctor Strange, The Raid, Total Recall, and The Matrix, but even that doesn’t sum up the pure chaos this film offers. 

             In a year where The Batman and The Lost City were released, Michelle Yeoh traveling through the multiverse is some of the most fun I’ve had in a theater so far. I literally just saw the latest Marvel flick, Morbius the other night and that had some of the dullest action I’ve seen in recent years and a very manufactured plot, this movie however, has action that’s energetic and in your face, to the point where the whole movie is an adrenaline rush from start to finish similar to Mad Max: Fury Road or The Raid: Redemption, while also having a clever story and charismatic characters. 

            The film follows Evelyn (Yeoh), a woman who runs a struggling laundromat with her husband, Waymond (Ke Huy Quan-The Goonies, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Head of the Class) which is being audited by the IRS. However, her family’s meeting with the IRS is quickly interrupted as Evelyn is suddenly (and humorously) whisked into the janitor’s closet by a version of Waymond from another universe who pleads for her help in saving the multiverse from annihilation. 

            Evelyn will need to tap into skills of alternate versions of herself like one where she’s a singer or movie star or one that’s a kung fu master and even a version with hotdogs for fingers to stop the evil force that threatens the universe(s) and become their most unlikely hero. 

            The film also stars Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween, True Lies, Knives Out) as IRS inspector, Deirdre Beaubeirdra, Stephanie Hsu (The Path, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) as Evelyn’s daughter, Joy, James Hong (Blade Runner, Mulan, Kung Fu Panda trilogy) as Evelyn’s father, Gong Gong, Jenny Slate (Zootopia, The Lego Batman Movie, Venom) as Big Nose, and Harry Shum Jr. (Glee, Shadowhunters, Crazy Rich Asians) as Chad. 

            Overall, Everything Everywhere All at Once is a mind-blowing attack on the senses and something that will be best enjoyed on the big screen. The action sequences have this kinetic energy that runs all throughout the film and never loses steam and unlike the action in Morbius, the camera is still and used as a window for the viewer to fully immerse themselves into this chaotic frenzy of fistfights, gunfire, and martial arts to name a few, and not disorient and tire them out. 

            While the action is exhilarating and some of the best I’ve seen in recent years, it’s also mixed with a lot of surreal imagery and bizarre humor. Whether it’s a witty comment from Yeoh or the supporting cast, an alternate universe that she ends up in like the one where she has hotdogs for fingers which is one of the funniest things in the movie, or just how over-the-top, absurd, and blown out of proportion the action sequences get…or even rocks! 

            The film sort of does this Inception/Doctor Strange Mirror Dimension effect whenever a character does something with the multiverse where you see double images or reflections that look like shattered glass and a lot of the imagery shown in the multiverse is as if you’re watching someone’s drug hallucinations being projected onto a theater screen and it’s some of the most imaginative and trippiest sequences I’ve ever seen in a movie. 

            With all the insanity and chaos going on, when you really get down to it, the plot of the movie is a woman who feels like her life is going downhill and you’re wondering how she’s going to make things right. While a lot of multiverse shows and movies focus on the epic scope of this idea, here’s one that has a sense of realism and heart underneath its action and visuals. 

            Michelle Yeoh is excellent in this movie and is some of her best acting throughout her entire career. She does a marvelous job flip-flopping between a struggling wife and mother, a tough badass, and showing off her silly side once in a while. 

There’s also this subplot regarding Evelyn’s relationship with her daughter and trying to reconnect with her. You see both sides of their conflict and neither one of them is right or wrong, Evelyn wants to be part of her daughter’s life, but she has a difficult time trying to let her daughter go, it’s a very realistic and relatable topic that adds a lot of heart to this “Multiverse of Madness”. 

I had a really good time with this movie and it’s something I strongly urge everyone to see on the big screen as soon as possible. I don’t care if that crappy Morbius movie is more mainstream and familiar, my advice is to replace that dull and dumb mess with this smart, exciting, and funny trip through the multiverse…that might have already given Doctor Strange a run for his money! 

Morbius review

MORBIUS:

SPIDER-MAN SPIN-OFF SHOWS ITS FANGS, BUT LACKS BITE! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: * out of 4

COLUMBIA PICTURES AND MARVEL

Jared Leto as Morbius

 

            Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club, Blade Runner 2049, House of Gucci) goes from Clown Prince of Crime to bloodsucking creature of the night in Morbius, the third installment of Sony’s Spider-Man Universe following 2018’s Venom and its sequel, Venom: Let There Be Carnage. The film was originally scheduled to be released in 2020 and even had a trailer shown before other Sony films released at the time like Bad Boys for Life and Bloodshot but was postponed numerous times due to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

            After the success of Venom and the continuing popularity of Spider-Man in film (Especially with the MCU films and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse), it makes sense to expand on the character’s universe(s) and showcase some of Spidey’s other heroes and villains, which was the thinking behind Sony’s Spider-Man Universe, a shared universe separate from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but would often make crossovers to tie both universes together. Especially now that characters can hop between universes thanks to the events of Spider-Man: No Way Home, but more on that later. 

            I wasn’t the biggest fan of Venom when it first came out as I saw the potential of what it could have been compared to what the final product ended up being, which was a goofy, cheeseball buddy movie, so I didn’t really know what to expect when Morbius was announced. I’m not familiar with the comics nor have I seen the character in any other Spider-Man show or movie, so I went into it with very little knowledge of his mythos other than what was shown in the trailers. 

            So, how does Morbius hold up compared to the other Spider-Man movies or the two Venom films? Honestly, this film somehow manages to be even more of a downgrade than the first Venom movie. 

            Morbius takes what should have been a cheesy, fun vampire-themed superhero movie similar to the Wesley Snipes Blade movies and instead makes it into a gloomy, thinly plotted, and CGI-driven mess that’s reminiscent to superhero movies from the 2000s…and I ain’t talking about the good ones like Spider-Man or X-Men. No, this is Elektra, Catwoman, and Ang Lee’s The Hulk-level bad with an over-reliance on style over substance, almost non-existent character development, some of the worst action sequences I’ve ever seen in a superhero movie, inexcusably terrible CGI effects that take over most of the action, and the worst crime this film committed, it’s DULL! 

            The film follows Dr. Michael Morbius (Leto), who suffers from a rare blood disorder searching for a cure to not only help himself but also save others who are suffering the same fate as him. Unfortunately, the cure ends up transforming him into a vampire, giving him superhuman strength, speed, and various powers…and he also has a serious thirst for blood. 

            All of that is the least of Michael’s problems as another vampire (Matt Smith-Doctor Who, The Crown, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) comes into the picture and poses a threat to both Michael and the world. Michael will need to make the ultimate decision of whether good will triumph over evil or if he will succumb to his new animalistic urges. 

            The film also stars Adria Arjona (Pacific Rim: Uprising, Life of the Party, 6 Underground) as Morbius’ girlfriend, Martine Bancroft, Jared Harris (Mad Men, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows) as Dr. Emil Nicholas, Al Madrigal (The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Gary Unmarried, The Way Back) as Al Rodriguez, and Tyrese Gibson (Fast & Furious franchise, Four Brothers, Transformers franchise) as Simon Stroud. 

            Overall, Morbius could have been a fun vampire superhero movie, but it ends up being one of the most uninspired comic book films I’ve ever seen that feels 20 years too late. Had this came out in the 2000s, I probably wouldn’t have been so hard on it, but in an era where Iron Man, Avengers, Deadpool, and the Guardians of the Galaxyare now the superhero movie norm and giving audiences something imaginative and new, this is just a dull, extremely standard superhero movie with nothing unique added to it that just isn’t much fun. 

            I didn’t like the Venom movies that much, but at least I was entertained by them and thought they were fun in how silly and dumb they are, this doesn’t even have that going for it. The plot is mostly taken seriously with this gloomy tone all throughout the film and whenever they try to do something goofy and funny, it’s extremely forced and not funny at all with the exception of Matt Smith as the brother-turned-villain. 

            There’s this scene after he becomes a vampire where he’s in a changing room and putting clothes on while dancing in front of a mirror similar to Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man 3. It's only a small moment in the film, but Matt Smith's overly cartoony performance during it honestly makes the movie come alive for a short period of time and I wished there was more of it. 

            The action sequences are dreadful and filled to the brim with cheap-looking CGI that looks like it’s ripped straight out of the 2005 Fantastic 4 movie or the Ben Affleck Daredevil. Every fight sequence has CGI sh*t flying all over the place and it looks terrible, again like a bad superhero movie from the 2000s that half the time looks like you’re watching a video game cutscene, and to make matters worse, even if you took the crappy CGI out, the action sequences are either too dark to see, too cluttered, or shot and edited horribly to the point where you can’t appreciate what’s on the screen, it is some of the worst superhero action I’ve seen in a long time (That tunnel chase though was kinda cool though). 

            Jared Leto to his credit is trying his hardest and it’s definitely an improvement over his Joker performance from Suicide Squad. For one thing, he’s much more restrained and less eccentric compared to his other performances and he does work well with the other actors, particularly during the scenes with him and his surrogate brother, I think both actors did a decent job at selling those moments, unfortunately those scenes are very few and far between. 

            The post-credits scenes are ironically the most interesting thing about the whole film, and I don’t mean that in a good way. As teased in the trailers, Michael Keaton appears to meet up with Morbius and the reasoning behind it makes absolutely no sense and raises more questions rather than get the audience hyped for the next Spider-Man-related movie. 

            Sadly, Morbius is one of the worst superhero movies in recent years despite Leto’s efforts and a scenery-chewing Matt Smith, it’s a dull and often laughable mess that continues to prove that Sony doesn’t know what to do with the Spider-Man franchise. My advice is to wait for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Part One) in October, at least that movie seems to have more thought put into it than this disaster. 

            This also takes the cake as the WORST SONY SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER MADE! Attention L.A. street gangs, why kill each other when there are more deserving movie executives just miles from your home, their addresses are…

READER ADVISORY, THE REST OF THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO INCITEMENTS TO VIOLENCE, FOUL LANGUAGE, RUBBER NOVELTY POOP, AND BRIEF NUDITY AND A BLATANT REFERENCE TO THE CRITIC! 

            Goodnight, everybody…and yes, there is a towel covering my junk right now as I’m being arrested by police! 

The Lost City review

THE LOST CITY: 

SANDRA BULLOCK AND CHANNING TATUM ARE A POWERHOUSE DUO IN THIS INCREDIBLY FUNNY ADVENTURE-COMEDY! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum in The Lost City

 

            Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side, The Heat, Gravity) and Channing Tatum (21/22 Jump Street, Magic Mike, Dog) venture into The Lost City, the new adventure-comedy from Aaron and Adam Nee (Band of Robbers). The film is from a story conceived by Seth Gordon (The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, Horrible Bosses, Identity Thief), who serves as a producer and is given story credit for it. 

            Despite seeing the trailer quite a few times in theaters and being a fan of Bullock and Tatum’s work, I wouldn’t say I was super excited for this movie, it just looked like a fun, silly adventure movie with two very charming and funny actors as the leads. Not to mention, its release was sandwiched between other releases that had my attention like The Batman and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, nevertheless I was still interested in checking this movie out and…I had a really good time with it! 

            One of the all-time great jungle adventure comedies that’s on par with Romancing the Stone or Tropic Thunder? No, but compared to recent jungle-themed films that were mediocre or average like Uncharted and Jungle Cruise, this is easily the best of the bunch. 

            While all three of those films had extremely likable lead actors and for the most part they worked well together for their specific movies, I think what really sets Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum apart from Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg from Uncharted is that the writing for them is very strong, their banter between each other is witty, and even though their team-up is mostly played for laughs, you grow attached to these characters who are completely opposite from one-another because of their unique personalities and character development, which is more than I can say for Peter Parker 2.0, Mark Wahlberg playing himself as Sully, and “What’s Her Face” from Uncharted.

            The film follows Loretta Sage (Bullock), a middle-aged author who wrote a series of romance-adventure novels with her dim-witted cover model, Alan Caprison (Tatum) as fictional hero, Dash McMahon. But when Loretta is suddenly taken by eccentric billionaire, Abigail Fairfax (Daniel Radcliffe-Harry Potter franchise, December Boys, Now You See Me 2) who insists that the city of treasures from her books is real and takes her to a remote island where the treasure is hidden, it’s up to Alan to become the real-life Dash as he sets off to rescue her. 

            The film also stars Brad Pitt (Inglourious Basterds, Moneyball, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) as Jack Trainer, Da’Vine Joy Randolph (The Angriest Man in Brooklyn, Office Christmas Party, People of Earth) as Beth Hatten, Patti Harrison (A Simple Favor, Together Together, Raya and the Last Dragon) as Allison, and Oscar Nuñez (Reno 911, The Office, The 33) as Oscar. 

            Overall, The Lost City can be best described as a fun romp that doesn’t take itself seriously and has a little something for everyone. Those looking for an exciting and action-packed Indiana Jones/The Mummy-esque treasure hunt, a silly, screwball buddy-comedy, or even some rom-com fluff will probably have a very good time with this film because it excels at mixing genres and Bullock and Tatum do a superb job flipping back-and-forth between being goofy and serious. 

            Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum have wonderful chemistry together as the duo I never knew I needed until after seeing this film. We’ve seen Tatum deliver some very funny performances before in the 21 Jump Street movies and he is hilarious as this dim-witted but hunky cover model, but I think a lot of people overlook Bullock’s comedic talents, personally I’d say this movie along with The Heat perfectly showcase just how funny this woman can be and the banter between Bullock and Tatum is hysterical and one of the highlights of the movie. 

            But that’s not all, Daniel Radcliffe is having a ball as this cartoonishly over-the-top villain who chews the scenery, makes you laugh, and poses a threat all at the same time, while also sharing a ton of witty dialogue with Sandra Bullock. Who would have thought Harry Potter would make such a great villain? 

            I should make this perfectly clear, if you’re going into this movie expecting to see a lot of Brad Pitt, you may be a little disappointed as his role is basically an extended cameo. The focus of the film is where it needs to be, but I thought I’d mention that…though his scenes are incredibly funny and badass like the dude himself. 

            The reason why this movie succeeds where Uncharted fails is that it remembers the importance of good storytelling and compelling characters, the plot is a little standard but because the characters are so funny and likable and the script is very witty, it feels fresh and new, and you care about the characters a lot more outside of the fact that they’re played by well-known and popular actors. 

Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg are excellent actors and were fine in Uncharted, but I did not care for their characters very much whereas the characters in this I wanted to follow until the very end because they actually have chemistry. Honestly, this movie is perfect counterprogramming for Uncharted and is the far better adventure film out in theaters right now. 

For the most part, I really enjoyed this movie but it isn’t exactly a perfect film, for the example the movie falls victim to some ADR jokes that don’t quite land and at times, they’ll do that cliché found in a lot of modern comedies where the lead actors will ramble and adlib several of their lines and they really stand out, but thankfully they’re very few and far between and it’s usually followed by a joke that does stick the landing. 

The Lost City is a delightful and crowd-pleasing adventure that’s definitely worth embarking on. I can’t promise a comedy classic, but for those looking for something silly but with some substance to it, this may be your treasure. 

            

Turning Red review

TURNING RED: 

LATEST PIXAR ANIMATED FEATURE WILL TURN YOU “RED” WITH JOY!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** ½ out of 4

DISNEY/PIXAR

Mei has a big secret in Pixar’s Turning Red

 

            A young girl discovers she can suddenly transform into a red panda based on her emotions in Turning Red, the new film from Pixar Animation Studios now streaming on Disney+. This marks Pixar’s first animated feature to be solely directed by a female director, Domee Shi who directed the Oscar winning Pixar short, Bao in her feature directorial debut. 

            The film was originally scheduled for a theatrical release, but like other recent Pixar films such as Soul and Luca, it was cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic and put directly onto Disney+ with extremely divisive results. I understood why Soul was released on Disney+ instead of theaters because of the lockdown and there weren’t any movie theaters open to show it, Luca I felt could have been released in theaters when it came out, but I get that it wasn’t exactly a huge blockbuster compared to other Pixar films, it was a much smaller story, this one I am a little disappointed wasn’t released in theaters because the animation is vibrant, but like Luca it’s one of the small-scale Pixarmovies so it’s not a big loss. 

            In the tradition of films like Toy Story, Inside Out, Coco, and Soul, leave it to Pixar to turn a movie about a girl who becomes a giant red panda (like an adorable Incredible Hulk) into an emotional powerhouse. Big shock, they succeeded! 

            While I wouldn’t consider this to be one of the all-time best Pixar films, I still think this is a very funny, clever, and heartfelt animated feature that once again shows the Pixar storytellers and animators doing what they do best, providing eye-catching animation and bold, thought-provoking stories. 

            The film is set in 2002 Toronto, Canada and follows a 13-year-old girl named Meilin “Mei” Lee (voiced by Rosalie Chiang) who does just about everything a girl her age does, hangs out with her best friends, obsess over boys, listening to music by their favorite boy band, and getting caught in the chaos of adolescence. As if normal changes in interests, relationships, and body wasn’t enough, not to mention her mother (voiced by Sandra Oh-Grey’s Anatomy, Killing Eve, Raya and the Last Dragon) who’s overprotective to a fault, Mei soon discovers she has the power to transform into a red panda whenever she gets emotional, and all sorts of hijinks ensue. 

            It turns out the red panda transformation runs in the family and dates back thousands of years where female members of Mei’s family would turn into red pandas as part of a ritual…don’t worry, it’s all part of growing up and becoming a woman! Mei quickly takes a liking to her red panda form as well as her friends, Miriam (voiced by Ava Morse), Abby (voiced by Hyein Park), and Priya (voiced by Maitreyi Ramakrishnan-Never Have I Ever, My Little Pony: Make Your Mark) and will have to find a middle-ground between standing up to her mother and becoming a woman while also making her and the rest of her family happy. 

            The film also features the voices of Orion Lee as the voice of Mei’s father, Jin, Wai Ching Ho (Premium Rush,Marvel Cinematic Universe, Hustlers) as Mei’s grandmother, Wu, James Hong (Mulan, Jackie Chan Adventures, Kung Fu Panda trilogy) as Mr. Gao, and Sasha Roiz (Caprica, Grimm, Superman: Red Son) as Mr. Kieslowski. 

            Overall, Turning Red adds another well-crafted, gorgeously animated, and very timely film into Pixar’s catalog that is sure to delight everyone. Kids will enjoy the cute red panda and silly humor and adults will appreciate the cultural themes and the message about letting your child grow up their own way is something parents will take away from it. 

            Despite the film taking place in the early 2000s, the themes and subject matter is anything but dated. The red panda transformation is obviously an allegory on puberty which is something I feel everyone can relate to and for kids who are learning about it, this is honestly the perfect movie to show them because it sums up what going through puberty is like flawlessly, they probably won’t turn into giant red pandas but the emotions, changes, and situations Mei is going through are very realistic and for anyone who was ever a teenager, this will likely hit close to home. 

             Besides puberty, the other theme this film addresses that is arguably more important and relevant today is growing up and parents letting their children grow up their own way. We’re all familiar with moms that are overprotective and overbearing of their children and have a tendency to embarrass them in public, but mean well, Mei’s mother is definitely a more exaggerated depiction of one of those moms and will do things like show and announce that she brought health supplies for Mei in front of her classmates, she’s also strict and religious but throughout the course of the film she learns that Mei might not want to be part of the same religion or become exactly like her mom, and let her follow her own path. 

            I won’t give anything away here, but they do make her a semi-antagonist during the climax (Which is admittedly a really entertaining final act), but as Mei learns to stand up for herself, her mom learns to let her daughter grow up and become the woman she wants to be. I think this alongside other animated films like Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and Coco are excellent movies that tackle this topic that everyone should see. 

            The animation is very colorful and vibrant, it often feels like you’re watching a computer-generated anime with the backgrounds, character designs, facial expressions, and subtle details like characters’ eyes getting big and sparkly. Not to mention, the whole concept of a girl magically turning into a monster or creature is ripped straight out of several different anime shows and movies, but as long as it does something fresh and new with this familiar concept it doesn’t feel like a rip-off at all.

            I don’t know what else to say, Turning Red has just about everything that makes a great Pixar film, beautiful animation, bold storytelling, vivid characters, and timely subject matter done in very intelligent and entertaining ways. It’s the kind of movie you watch with your family, and it just puts everyone in the best of the moods as they’re watching it, this is a movie that will turn you “Red” but not with anger.