Morbius review

MORBIUS:

SPIDER-MAN SPIN-OFF SHOWS ITS FANGS, BUT LACKS BITE! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: * out of 4

COLUMBIA PICTURES AND MARVEL

Jared Leto as Morbius

 

            Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club, Blade Runner 2049, House of Gucci) goes from Clown Prince of Crime to bloodsucking creature of the night in Morbius, the third installment of Sony’s Spider-Man Universe following 2018’s Venom and its sequel, Venom: Let There Be Carnage. The film was originally scheduled to be released in 2020 and even had a trailer shown before other Sony films released at the time like Bad Boys for Life and Bloodshot but was postponed numerous times due to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

            After the success of Venom and the continuing popularity of Spider-Man in film (Especially with the MCU films and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse), it makes sense to expand on the character’s universe(s) and showcase some of Spidey’s other heroes and villains, which was the thinking behind Sony’s Spider-Man Universe, a shared universe separate from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but would often make crossovers to tie both universes together. Especially now that characters can hop between universes thanks to the events of Spider-Man: No Way Home, but more on that later. 

            I wasn’t the biggest fan of Venom when it first came out as I saw the potential of what it could have been compared to what the final product ended up being, which was a goofy, cheeseball buddy movie, so I didn’t really know what to expect when Morbius was announced. I’m not familiar with the comics nor have I seen the character in any other Spider-Man show or movie, so I went into it with very little knowledge of his mythos other than what was shown in the trailers. 

            So, how does Morbius hold up compared to the other Spider-Man movies or the two Venom films? Honestly, this film somehow manages to be even more of a downgrade than the first Venom movie. 

            Morbius takes what should have been a cheesy, fun vampire-themed superhero movie similar to the Wesley Snipes Blade movies and instead makes it into a gloomy, thinly plotted, and CGI-driven mess that’s reminiscent to superhero movies from the 2000s…and I ain’t talking about the good ones like Spider-Man or X-Men. No, this is Elektra, Catwoman, and Ang Lee’s The Hulk-level bad with an over-reliance on style over substance, almost non-existent character development, some of the worst action sequences I’ve ever seen in a superhero movie, inexcusably terrible CGI effects that take over most of the action, and the worst crime this film committed, it’s DULL! 

            The film follows Dr. Michael Morbius (Leto), who suffers from a rare blood disorder searching for a cure to not only help himself but also save others who are suffering the same fate as him. Unfortunately, the cure ends up transforming him into a vampire, giving him superhuman strength, speed, and various powers…and he also has a serious thirst for blood. 

            All of that is the least of Michael’s problems as another vampire (Matt Smith-Doctor Who, The Crown, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) comes into the picture and poses a threat to both Michael and the world. Michael will need to make the ultimate decision of whether good will triumph over evil or if he will succumb to his new animalistic urges. 

            The film also stars Adria Arjona (Pacific Rim: Uprising, Life of the Party, 6 Underground) as Morbius’ girlfriend, Martine Bancroft, Jared Harris (Mad Men, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows) as Dr. Emil Nicholas, Al Madrigal (The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Gary Unmarried, The Way Back) as Al Rodriguez, and Tyrese Gibson (Fast & Furious franchise, Four Brothers, Transformers franchise) as Simon Stroud. 

            Overall, Morbius could have been a fun vampire superhero movie, but it ends up being one of the most uninspired comic book films I’ve ever seen that feels 20 years too late. Had this came out in the 2000s, I probably wouldn’t have been so hard on it, but in an era where Iron Man, Avengers, Deadpool, and the Guardians of the Galaxyare now the superhero movie norm and giving audiences something imaginative and new, this is just a dull, extremely standard superhero movie with nothing unique added to it that just isn’t much fun. 

            I didn’t like the Venom movies that much, but at least I was entertained by them and thought they were fun in how silly and dumb they are, this doesn’t even have that going for it. The plot is mostly taken seriously with this gloomy tone all throughout the film and whenever they try to do something goofy and funny, it’s extremely forced and not funny at all with the exception of Matt Smith as the brother-turned-villain. 

            There’s this scene after he becomes a vampire where he’s in a changing room and putting clothes on while dancing in front of a mirror similar to Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man 3. It's only a small moment in the film, but Matt Smith's overly cartoony performance during it honestly makes the movie come alive for a short period of time and I wished there was more of it. 

            The action sequences are dreadful and filled to the brim with cheap-looking CGI that looks like it’s ripped straight out of the 2005 Fantastic 4 movie or the Ben Affleck Daredevil. Every fight sequence has CGI sh*t flying all over the place and it looks terrible, again like a bad superhero movie from the 2000s that half the time looks like you’re watching a video game cutscene, and to make matters worse, even if you took the crappy CGI out, the action sequences are either too dark to see, too cluttered, or shot and edited horribly to the point where you can’t appreciate what’s on the screen, it is some of the worst superhero action I’ve seen in a long time (That tunnel chase though was kinda cool though). 

            Jared Leto to his credit is trying his hardest and it’s definitely an improvement over his Joker performance from Suicide Squad. For one thing, he’s much more restrained and less eccentric compared to his other performances and he does work well with the other actors, particularly during the scenes with him and his surrogate brother, I think both actors did a decent job at selling those moments, unfortunately those scenes are very few and far between. 

            The post-credits scenes are ironically the most interesting thing about the whole film, and I don’t mean that in a good way. As teased in the trailers, Michael Keaton appears to meet up with Morbius and the reasoning behind it makes absolutely no sense and raises more questions rather than get the audience hyped for the next Spider-Man-related movie. 

            Sadly, Morbius is one of the worst superhero movies in recent years despite Leto’s efforts and a scenery-chewing Matt Smith, it’s a dull and often laughable mess that continues to prove that Sony doesn’t know what to do with the Spider-Man franchise. My advice is to wait for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Part One) in October, at least that movie seems to have more thought put into it than this disaster. 

            This also takes the cake as the WORST SONY SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER MADE! Attention L.A. street gangs, why kill each other when there are more deserving movie executives just miles from your home, their addresses are…

READER ADVISORY, THE REST OF THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO INCITEMENTS TO VIOLENCE, FOUL LANGUAGE, RUBBER NOVELTY POOP, AND BRIEF NUDITY AND A BLATANT REFERENCE TO THE CRITIC! 

            Goodnight, everybody…and yes, there is a towel covering my junk right now as I’m being arrested by police!