We Bare Bears: The Movie review

WE BARE BEARS: THE MOVIE: 

ICE BEAR APPROVES THIS MOVIE! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

CARTOON NETWORK

Charlie the Bigfoot, Panda, Grizzly, and Ice Bear in We Bare Bears: The Movie

            A trio of talking bears leave their cave and embark on the adventure of a lifetime in We Bare Bears: The Movie, the latest in Cartoon Network’s long-running series of films based on their shows. This movie takes the Ed, Edd n Eddy’s Big Picture Show approach as a feature film conclusion to the series, We Bare Bears which revolves around three bears that frequently interact with both nature and human society, often getting into all kinds of shenanigans along the way. 

            If you remember my review of Steven Universe: The Movie (Another movie based on a Cartoon Network show) then you know that I grew up on the early Cartoon Network shows like Ed, Edd n Eddy, The Powerpuff Girls, and Samurai Jack, and haven’t really been keeping up with their recent shows with some exceptions (Adventure Time, Regular Show, the previously mentioned Steven Universe, Sonic Boom, etc.). I’ve seen a handful of episodes of We Bare Bears before and while it doesn’t quite grab me as much as some of CN’s other recent shows or the ones I grew up with, it’s a mostly harmless series for kids with a decent sense of humor, some surprisingly clever social commentary, and some genuinely heartfelt moments. 

            Now, the bears follow in the footsteps of Dexter’s Laboratory, The Powerpuff Girls, Samurai Jack, Ed, Edd n Eddy, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Johnny Bravo, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Steven Universe, Regular Show, and many others by getting the movie treatment with We Bare Bears: The Movie. The film is directed by the series’ creator Daniel Chong (Bolt, Cars 2, Inside Out) and was released digitally on June 30, 2020 serving as an epilogue to the series. 

            So, how does this movie hold up for someone who did not watch the show that often? It’s not half bad, though I’ve seen better movies from Cartoon Network before. There isn’t much in here for someone not already familiar with the source material, but for a film squarely aimed at kids and fans of the show, it’ll probably give you what you’re looking for, a fun, upbeat adventure with talking bears. 

            After their antics make the San Francisco Bay Area residents turn against them and become targets of the Department of National Wildlife Control, the trio of bears consisting of Grizzly (voiced by Eric Edelstein-American Dad, Monsters VS Aliens (TV series), Clarence), Panda (voiced by Bobby Moynihan-Monsters University, The Secret Life of Pets 1 and 2, DuckTales (2017)), and Ice Bear (voiced by Demetri Martin-The Daily Show, Taking Woodstock, Important Things with Demetri Martin) are forced to leave their home in the wilderness and go on a road trip to the greatest place for a bear to live ever…Canada in search of a better life. Along the way, they crash a party for internet celebrity animals, have close calls with the Wildlife Control, and come face to face with the sadistic, bear-hating leader of the Wildlife Control, Agent Trout (voiced by Marc Evan Jackson-Parks and Recreation, 22 Jump Street, The Good Place) who plots to capture them and put them in a wildlife preserve (with an electric fence and cages I might add), among other hardships they endure while staying true to the promise they made as cubs of being “bros for life” (But not Thunder Buddies!). 

            The film also features the voices of Keith Ferguson (Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Wander Over Yonder, Batman VS Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) as Officer Murphy, Jason Lee (Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, My Name is Earl, Alvin and the Chipmunks franchise) as Charlie the Bigfoot, Patton Oswalt (The King of Queens, Kim Possible, Ratatouille) as Nom Nom, Charlyne Yi (House, Steven Universe, Trolls World Tour) as Chloe Park, Mel Rodriguez (Getting On, The Last Man on Earth, Better Call Saul) as Darrell Saragosa, Cameron Esposito (Adventure Time, Maron, Take My Wife) as Ranger Dana Tabes, Ellie Kemper (The Office, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, The Lego Batman Movie) as Lucy, Josh Cooley (Inside Out, Riley’s First Date?, Toy Story 4) as Painting Elephant, Amber Liu (Invincible Youth 2, Real Men, Entourage (South Korean TV series)) as Jojo Raccoon, and Jimmy O. Yang (Silicon Valley, The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, Space Force) as Joey Raccoon. 

            Overall, We Bare Bears: The Movie is an enjoyable animated adventure (As far as Cartoon Network movies go) and hopefully a worthy conclusion to the TV series. As I mentioned before, I did not watch the show very often so I can’t really speak for the fans, but for the episodes I have seen I think this is an appropriate sendoff for the bears. 

            The plot is an average buddy-buddy road trip movie (Often a very popular genre for various films based on animated shows) that hits all the familiar beats of films like A Goofy Movie, The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie, The Simpsons Movie, and as previously mentioned, Ed, Edd n Eddy’s Big Picture Show. Come to think of it, the premise of We Bare Bears: The Movie reminds me a lot of Ed, Edd n Eddy’s Big Picture Show right down to having the main characters leave their home and many of their friends and neighbors now wanting them dead for something they’ve done except replace the Eds with bears and Eddy’s Brother’s place with Canada. 

            However, the film really shines with its social commentary, it’s like an allegory about living as a minority in America and explores a lot of timely themes about acceptance, family separation, and racial discrimination. The fact that this is all happening to a bunch of talking bears interacting with humans is not only funny but also extremely clever and it never goes too far with the subject matter, it works in a similar way to the relationship between humans and toons from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

            One can view it simply as a cute animated adventure with talking bears and another can view it as an allegory for racism and discrimination. I really commend the film for the way it handles and depicts its mature subject matter and making it understandable to children.

            If you’re a fan of the series, then We Bare Bears: The Movie is a road trip you’ll definitely want to take. It’s a funny and heartfelt final adventure with Grizzly, Panda, and Ice Bear you’ll never forget. 

And Now For My Bear Jokes!

Clip from The Wicker Man (2006) (c) Warner Bros. Pictures

Clip from The Country Bears (c) Disney

Clip from Care Bears Movie II (c) Columbia Pictures

The Old Guard review

THE OLD GUARD: 

OVER-THE-TOP DEPARTURE FROM TRADITIONAL SUPERHERO/COMIC BOOK MOVIE FARE IS FUN, BUT SOMEWHAT BOGGED DOWN BY FAMILIAR GENRE TROPES! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

NETFLIX

Chiwetel Ejiofor, Matthias Schoenaerts, Charlize Theron, Marwan Kenzari, KiKi Layne, and Luca Marinelli in The Old Guard

            A group of mercenaries with a mysterious inability to die is recruited to take on an emergency mission that exposes their extraordinary powers to humanity in The Old Guard, the new action film released on Netflix based on the graphic novel of the same name by Greg Rucka and Leandro Fernández. The film is directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood (Love & Basketball, The Secret Life of Bees, Beyond the Lights) and stars Charlize Theron (Monster, Mad Max: Fury Road, Atomic Blonde) as a centuries old warrior who leads the team of unkillable mercenaries. 

            I should make this perfectly clear; I am not familiar with the original comic this film is based on at all. I’ve never read it before, and I wasn’t even aware the movie was based on a comic book until a few days ago when I watched the trailer, so I have no idea how faithful it is to the source material. 

            However, I am aware the creator of the comic, Greg Rucka wrote the screenplay for this movie so maybe it’s a very faithful adaptation, but I couldn’t tell you. Instead, I will be judging it as a standalone movie although, I am curious to see what the original comic is like.

Despite knowing practically nothing about the film initially, I was intrigued by its premise when I watched the trailer for the first time. It sounded like a John Wick meets Upgrade type of movie and I was 100% onboard for that…and with Theron as the team’s leader? Sign me up. 

A movie about a bunch of indestructible mercenaries with the inability to die, a premise like that can work both as a tongue-in-cheek, over-the-top action movie and as a grounded and down-to-earth thriller with a sense of mystery. Well, now that I’ve watched it, I can say that while the film is undoubtably fun during the action sequences, Theron’s performance is great, and there are a lot of interesting ideas being explored, the movie itself kind of falls short of expectations.

            The film follows a team of tight-knit mercenaries with the inability to die led by a warrior named Andy (Theron) who have fought to protect the world for centuries. The team consists of former French soldier, Booker (Matthias Schoenaerts-Rust and Bone, The Drop, The Mustang), Muslim warrior who participated in the Crusades, Joe (Marwan Kenzari-Loft, Wolf (2013 film), Aladdin (2019)), former Crusader, Nicky (Luca Marinelli-The Great Beauty, They Call Me Jeeg, Martin Eden), and their newest member, former U.S. Marine who served in Afghanistan, Nile (KiKi Layne-If Beale Street Could Talk, Native Son, Coming 2 America). 

            However, when they’re recruited for an emergency mission that exposes their extraordinary powers and they are soon targeted by a shadowy organization that seeks to replicate and monetize their powers, it’s up to Andy, Nile, and the rest of the team to stop them before it’s too late. 

            The film also stars Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave, The Martian, Doctor Strange) as James Copley, Harry Melling (Harry Potter franchise, The Lost City of Z, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs) as Steven Merrick, Veronica Ngo (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Furie, Da 5 Bloods) as Quynh, Anamaria Marinca (Sex Traffic, Fury, Ghost in the Shell(2017)) as Dr. Meta Kozak, and Joey Ansah (Batman Begins, The Bourne Ultimatum, Snow White and the Huntsman) as Keane. 

            Overall, The Old Guard for the most part is an entertaining time waster with plenty of high-octane action sequences and strong performances from its cast. However, the concept of the film leaves a lot to be desired and it doesn’t quite explore the vast possibilities of its premise. 

            Mostly because while the film is a nice departure from the Marvel and DC style comic book movies that seem to dominate the box-office lately, it gets a little bogged down by various familiar tropes and conventions of its genre. 

This is a movie about people with extraordinary powers so naturally there is an evil CEO in a suit who wants to profit off their powers instead of for scientific and medical purposes as the main villain (Why do I suddenly have the urge to quote Bill Paxton from Twister?). Also, we need a bunch of moody songs to play during emotional scenes and action sequences (Which I’m usually okay with if it works but it happens so frequently I thought I was watching the Ben Affleck Daredevil movie for a moment), and most of the action sequences are a lot of fun and have plenty of carnage but I kind of wished they went all out with them and delivered ridiculously over-the-top action on par with something like Face/Off or RoboCop. 

With that said, when the action is good it’s really good, the two best examples of action in this film are the opening fight scene where Theron shoots and slaughters bad guys left and right I can describe as if John Wick and The Bride had a baby and she grew up to be an immortal and deadly assassin, and the other notable action scene is a fight on a plane between Theron and Layne where they’re shooting one another and snapping each other’s limbs only to have them instantly heal, it’s both thrilling and funny at the same time. 

The Old Guard may not deliver the hyper-violent action flick its premise suggests, but the action sequences it does offer, efforts to flesh out its characters, and the charisma-filled performances by its cast more than make up for it. It isn’t something I’d watch again but for a one-time viewing I’m glad I watched it and hopefully, if a sequel gets made, they can expand upon what worked in this while fix or at least remove what didn’t. 

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga review

EUROVISION SONG CONTEST: THE STORY OF FIRE SAGA: 

WILL FERRELL AND RACHEL MCADAMS MAKE SOME NOISE…AND A LOT OF LAUGHS IN THIS MUSICAL-COMEDY! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

NETFLIX

Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams in Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

            Will Ferrell (Anchorman 1 and 2, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, The Other Guys) and Rachel McAdams (Mean Girls, Sherlock Holmes (2009), Game Night) take center stage in Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga, the new musical-comedy directed by David Dobkin (Clay Pigeons, Shanghai Knights, Wedding Crashers) now streaming on Netflix. The film was originally scheduled to be released in May to coincide with the Eurovision Song Contest 2020, but the event was cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic and the film was released a month later. 

            I’ve always been a fan of Will Ferrell’s work as a comedian with films like the Anchorman duology, Elf,Zoolander, Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory, Step Brothers, and The Other Guys being some of my favorites whenever I need a good laugh. However, like most great comedic actors, Ferrell does have his share of misses including Bewitched, Kicking and Screaming, Get Hard, and the infamous 2018 flop, Holmes & Watson which I not only dubbed the worst movie of that year but also one of the most unpleasant times I’ve ever had watching a comedy since Son of the Mask, The Cat in the Hat, and the Steve Martin version of The Pink Panther (Read my Holmes & Watson review for more details and to hear a man crack!).

            I didn’t really know what to expect with Eurovision Song Contest but upon watching it I can gladly say that despite its occasionally formulaic and clichéd narrative, I had a very fun time with this movie. Is it one of the best and most game-changing comedies of all time? No, but I enjoyed it as a quirky, light-hearted comedy with a lot of laugh-out loud moments and a surprising amount of heart. 

            The film follows Lars (Ferrell) and Sigrit (McAdams), two childhood best friends living in Iceland who make music together as the band Fire Saga, much to the dismay of Lars’ widowed father, Erick (Pierce Brosnan-James Bondfranchise, The Matador, The Ghost Writer). Lars dreams to one day win the Eurovision Song Contest and when these aspiring musicians are given the opportunity of a lifetime to represent their country in the world’s biggest song competition, they have a chance to prove that any dream is worth fighting for as they slowly climb their way towards the gold. 

            The film also stars Mikael Persbrandt (The Hypnotist, The Hobbit 2 and 3, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword) as Victor Karlosson, Demi Lovato (Camp Rock 1 and 2, Princess Protection Program, Smurfs: The Lost Village) as Katiana, Dan Stevens (Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb, Beauty and the Beast (2017), Legion (TV series)) as Alexander Lemtov, Ólafur Darri Ólafsson (Children, Lady Dynamite, The Deep) as Neils Brongus, Björn Hlynur Haraldsson (Fortitude, Eleven Men Out, Jar City) as Arnar, Graham Norton as himself, Jamie Demetriou (Fleabag, Stath Lets Flats, Paddington 2) as Kevin Swain, Joe Kortajarena (A Single Man, Quantico, Skins) as Corin Vladvitch, Bobby Lockwood (Waterloo Road, Wolfblood, Honey 3) as Jeff, Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson (Atomic Blonde, Alpha, Bloodshot) as Johans, Natasia Demetriou (What We Do in the Shadows (TV series), Stath Lets Flats, The Festival) as Nina, and William Lee Adams (Wiwibloggs) as himself. 

            Overall, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga is a funny and sweet story about pursuing your dreams made even better by the appealing chemistry between Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams. They sell both the humorous sides of their characters as well as the more heartfelt moments of the film…not to mention it also showcases their singing talents. 

Seriously, Will Ferrell’s singing in this movie is incredible and I hope he gets casted in more musical comedies in the future. Also, Rachel McAdams’ performance of the song at the end alone makes me want to get the soundtrack to this movie, Ferrell and McAdams work together wonderfully in this film. 

The side characters are also very memorable, particularly Dan Stevens as a flamboyant singer from Russia who is trying to work his moves onto McAdams, much to Ferrell’s dismay but they never make him the straight-up villain of the movie but instead to cause a very short rivalry between Stevens and Ferrell’s characters that gets resolved by the end. And the less I talk about Demi Lovato in this movie, the better but trust me, she’s hilarious once she shows up in the film. 

As entertaining as this movie is, my biggest issues with it are the narrative and script, on the surface it’s just your basic musical comedy story about a music band (or music duo in this case) and their quest for fame. Granted, this film does rely on some tiring clichés and tropes found in other movies like this such as the main characters misunderstanding each other and going their separate ways at the end of the second act, the forced sexual situation, the (slightly) slimy wealthy antagonist character, fortunately, I’m able to excuse most of this because the actors play their parts extremely well and the misunderstanding trope doesn’t last very long in this film. 

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga is a performance you don’t want to miss. With plenty of laughs, charm, and some very entertaining music sequences all elevated by Ferrell and McAdams’ outstanding performances. This is a trip to Iceland you will never forget. 

Da 5 Bloods review

DA 5 BLOODS: 

SPIKE LEE WAR FILM IS AN ABSOLUTE POWERHOUSE!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** ½ out of 4

NETFLIX

A group of war veterans return to Vietnam in search of buried treasure in Da 5 Bloods

            A group of aging Vietnam War veterans return to the country in search for the remains of their fallen leader and treasure they buried while serving there in Da 5 Bloods, the latest film from director Spike Lee (Malcolm X, Chi-Raq, BlacKkKlansman). The film was originally written back in 2013 with Oliver Stone attached to direct under the title, The Last Tour but after Stone dropped out Lee stepped in and turned it into an ambitious, gritty, and very inspiring picture.

            Spike Lee does not sugar-coat any of it, he will throw you right into this harsh, nasty, and downright horrific subject matter that will disturb you, impact you on an emotional level, and make you think about current events in the country (and the entire world). There are a number of moments in this film that disturbed me greatly especially regarding archival footage and photographs of real-life deaths from the Vietnam War (one in particular involving an infant is burned into my mind) so be warned if you choose to watch this movie, you will see some heavy material but for a movie like this, it’s very warranted. 

            This movie is very hard to watch at times but it’s also very beautifully filmed, emotionally impactful, and often heartfelt. Lee’s uses of different aspect ratios to depict the time certain scenes take place (The scenes set during the Vietnam War are filmed in the 4:3 aspect ratio while the scenes set in the present are filmed normally) is absolutely brilliant and never feels distracting and the friendship and brotherhood of the war vets is very powerful. 

            The film follows four African American Vietnam War veterans consisting of Paul (Delroy Lindo-Clockers,Broken Arrow, Ransom), Otis (Clarke Peters-The Wire, Treme, John Wick), Eddie (Norm Lewis-Stand by Me, Scandal, Just Mercy), and Melvin (Isiah Whitlock Jr.-The Wire, 25^th Hour, BlacKkKlansman) and Paul’s son David (Jonathan Majors-Hostiles, White Boy Rick, Lovecraft Country) who return to Vietnam to find the remains of their fallen Squad Leader, Norman (Chadwick Boseman-42, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marshall) and recover gold that they buried while serving in the war. However, shortly after beginning their mission, the Bloods must battle forces of Man and Nature and are confronted by the lasting ravages of the immorality of the Vietnam War. 

            The film also stars Johnny Trí Nguyễn (Cradle 2 the Grave, Tom-Yum-Goong, The Rebel) as Vinh, Mélanie Thierry (One for the Road, Henry V, The Dancer) as Hedy Bouvier, Paul Walter Hauser (I, Tonya, BlacKkKlansman,Richard Jewell) as Simon, Jasper Pääkkönen (Vikings, BlacKkKlansman) as Seppo, Jean Reno (Mission: Impossible, Godzilla (1998), The Da Vinci Code) as Desroche, and Veronica Ngo (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Furie) as Hanoi. 

            Overall, Da 5 Bloods is a gripping, poignant, and thought-provoking depiction of war and the impacts it has on people in one of Lee’s most timely and relevant directing efforts throughout his career (and that’s saying a lot!). What I found very interesting about this movie is that it isn’t a movie set during the Vietnam War (Though many scenes do take place during it) but rather several years later to show what happened during the aftermath and how it affected the main characters, all done in a very Spike Lee way with a lot of social commentary and themes about racism and hate. 

            All the performances are great with the highlight being Delroy Lindo as Paul, an angry, short-tempered tough guy (Who also happens to be a Trump supporter, MAGA hat and all) suffering from PTSD. Lindo portrays him very convincingly and at first, you’d think his aggressive attitude would be played for laughs but as the film progresses it shifts back and forth from tragic and sympathetic to just plain creepy, it’s an Oscar worthy performance…I’ll just leave it at that. 

            This movie can get extremely violent and disturbing but never to the point where it becomes Torture Porn and overshadows the characters and story. The intense moments and real-life archival footage feel necessary to progress the story and keep the audience invested. 

            One scene in particular involves one of the main characters accidentally stepping on a land mine and the other characters need to pull him off of it with only a rope. Never before has a scene from the movie put me on the edge of my seat like this one. Honestly, it puts the Heath Ledger Joker boat sequence from The Dark Knight to shame…Oh yeah, I went there! 

            Da 5 Bloods isn’t for everyone and a few parts can drag at times (The film has a 156-minute runtime, a bit too long in my opinion) but I was never bored by it. I was thoroughly invested in the story and characters from beginning to end. 

            It’s easily one of the best Spike Lee movies and one of the best films of the year, if you got Netflix and want to see a powerhouse of a film then look no further than Da 5 Bloods. Just be ready to see some disturbing shit. 

The King of Staten Island review

THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND: 

A LITTLE UNEVEN, BUT THIS COMING-OF-AGE DRAMEDY SUCCESSFULLY SHOWCASES JUDD APATOW’S MORE MATURE SIDE AS A DIRECTOR! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

Pete Davidson in The King of Staten Island

            A 24-year-old high school dropout who lost his firefighter father when he was young, tries to get his life together in The King of Staten Island. The new comedy-drama film from director Judd Apatow (The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Trainwreck) and written by and starring Pete Davidson (Saturday Night Live, The Jesus Rolls, The Suicide Squad), loosely based on his own life as Davidson lost his father, who was a firefighter during the September 11 attacks. 

            That’s some pretty heavy subject matter especially for someone like Judd Apatow to bring to the screen, as he is usually known for directing comedies like Knocked Up and Trainwreck. But you know what? Despite some flaws, Apatow brings The King of Staten Island to the screen wonderfully in one of his more mature outings as a director by blending his trademark comedic tone with genuine drama, and a compelling performance by Davidson as the film’s protagonist. 

            The film follows Scott Carlin (Davidson), who ever since his firefighter father died in a fire when he was young has been a case of arrested development. Now in his mid-20s and has achieved very little but desires to pursue his dream of becoming a tattoo artist, Scott lives with his exhausted ER nurse mother Margie (Marisa Tomei-My Cousin Vinny, Crazy Stupid Love, Spider-Man: Homecoming/Far From Home) while his ambitious younger sister Claire (Maude Apatow-Knocked Up, Funny People, Euphoria) heads off to college. 

            He spends most of his time smoking weed, hanging out with his friends, and is secretly hooking up with his childhood friend Kelsey (Bel Powley-Mary Shelley, White Boy Rick, The Morning Show). However, Scott gets one hell of a wakeup call when he discovers his mom has been seeing a loudmouth firefighter named Ray (Bill Burr-Breaking Bad, F Is for Family, Daddy’s Home 1 and 2) whose son Scott attempted to draw a tattoo on after being asked, but ran away after drawing a single line. 

            Initially, Scott does not like the idea of his mother dating another fireman because it reminds him all too much of his dad and tries to break them up. However, this sets off a chain of events forcing him to fight with his grief and take his first tentative steps toward moving forward in his life. 

            The film also stars Steve Buscemi (Reservoir Dogs, Desperado, The Big Lebowski) as Papa, Pamela Adlon (King of the Hill, Recess, Bumblebee) as Gina, Jimmy Tatro (22 Jump Street, American Vandal, Stuber) as Firefighter Savage, Kevin Corrigan (Grounded for Life, The Departed, Superbad) as Joe, Dominic Lombardozzi (A Bronx Tale, Cold Pursuit, The Irishman) as Firefighter Lockwood, Moisés Arias (The Kings of Summer, Ender’s Game, Pitch Perfect 3) as Igor, and Cathy Aquilino (Girl Code) as Tara. 

            Overall, The King of Staten Island may not live up to Apatow’s earlier work, but it shows that he can do more than raunchy comedies with a lot of pot smoking and sex jokes. He is able to blend this mature subject matter with his trademark style of comedy and for the most part it works. 

            At times, it can be a little unfocused like one-minute Scott will be smoking pot with his friends and making crude jokes and getting into all kinds of wacky shenanigans followed by a heated argument and fight between him and Ray. Sometimes it feels like the movie isn’t sure whether it wants to extremely funny or really dramatic, in my opinion it mostly works aside from a few awkward moments. 

            The only other issue I have with this movie is the length, the film clocks in at 2 hours and 17 minutes which to me felt too long for something like this. It’s a movie about a 24-year-old man trying to figure out what to do with his life, this could have easily been sliced down to an hour and a half movie and it would have been fine, probably better. 

I was never bored by it or anything but there are some slow moments that I felt could have been cut and I did notice the runtime around the middle. It isn’t overwhelmingly long, but the runtime was rather noticeable and could have been shorter. 

The highlight of this movie are the performances, particularly from Pete Davidson, Marisa Tomei, and Bill Burr. Granted, I haven’t seen Pete Davidson in many films or TV shows but his performance in this is really good and given that this is a very personal project for him you can see elements of both the character and the actor whenever he’s onscreen. 

At first, I was ready to hate Davidson’s character because he starts out as this extremely unlikable, arrogant, and irresponsible jerk who quickly gets on everyone’s nerves. But you understand what he’s going through and as the film progresses, he learns the errors of his ways and tries to make everything right, he even has some heartfelt bonding moments with Bill Burr and the two kids. 

Bill Burr’s character was a pleasant surprise because on the surface you’d probably think he’d be just a straight up asshole, but like Scott has a revelation by the end learns the value of family. It’s kind of like Mr. Woodcock…except made by much smarter people who knew what they were doing, even Marisa Tomei has some scene-stealing moments though not quite as many as Davidson and Burr. 

The King of Staten Island is a funny and thoughtful coming-of-age story and one of Judd Apatow’s more mature outings as a director. A little rough around the edges and lengthy, but the charm of the film’s cast keeps the movie afloat. 

This is definitely a trip to Staten Island worth taking. 

Artemis Fowl review

ARTEMIS FOWL: 

BELOVED YOUNG-ADULT FILM ADAPTATION COMMITS THE HEINOUS CRIME OF BOREDOM! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: * ½ out of 4

DISNEY+

Lara McDonnell, Judi Dench, Josh Gad, Ferdia Shaw, Nonso Anozie, Tamara Smart, and Colin Farrell in Artemis Fowl

            A 12-year-old prodigy goes on a mission to rescue his kidnapped father in Artemis Fowl, based on the book of the same name by Eoin Colfer and is the latest film adaptation of a popular young-adult novel. The film had been in development hell for years shortly after the book was published in 2001 and was originally intended to be a Miramax release until Disney acquired the rights in 2013. 

            Throughout its production history, the film went through several directors and writers until finally Kenneth Branagh (Hamlet (1996), Thor, Cinderella (2015)) was brought onboard to helm the movie. When the movie was officially announced, admittedly I was interested in seeing what they were going to do with Colfer’s story. 

            I remembered reading the book in school as a kid though my memory of it is very hazy, but I’m familiar with the premise of it. A child prodigy and his faithful servant befriend a fairy and a dwarf to rescue his kidnapped father from a gang of pixies looking to reclaim an artifact that was stolen by the Fowl family, sounds like there could be a lot of potential for a movie with this set-up. 

            Sadly, the red flags started to show their ugly selves as the movie was originally scheduled for an August 2019 theatrical release but was constantly pushed back and just before it was able to secure a May 2020 release, the COVID-19 pandemic struck and the film was dropped onto the Disney+ streaming service as a last resort. So, after all that trouble behind the scenes and during post-production, how does Artemis Fowl translate to film? Ummm…badly…very, VERY badly! 

            I wasn’t expecting Artemis Fowl to be anything great when the teaser trailer debuted a year and a half ago, but I was not expecting it to be this bad. How does a story with so much imagination and potential for a film turn into such a bland, thinly plotted, and overblown mess? This is the visual equivalent of watching Disney set $125 million (The film’s budget) on fire, Dark Knight Joker style. 

            It plays like a 90-minute compilation of scenes awkwardly stitched together with nothing of real substance and it seems like there were a lot of important scenes left on the cutting-room floor because apparently this young-adult book adaptation needs to be under 100 minutes for some reason. 

            Pile bad acting, a weak script, and overblown but terribly edited action sequences on top of it and you got a huge misfire in the Disney film library. It might very well be one of the Top 5 Worst Movies I’ve Ever Seen with the Disney name alongside Mr. Magoo, The Lone Ranger, The Haunted Mansion, and Inspector Gadget. 

            The film follows Artemis Fowl II (Newcomer, Ferdia Shaw), a 12-year-old genius, criminal mastermind, and millionaire who lives at Fowl Manor in Ireland with his father, Artemis Sr. (Colin Farrell-Daredevil, Seven Psychopaths, Dumbo (2019)). Suddenly, his father gets kidnapped and is accused of the theft of priceless artifacts leaving his son to discover the truth about his family. 

            It turns out the Fowl family has stolen ancient artifacts and documented the existence of mythical creatures such as fairies, dwarves, and trolls, and a mysterious hooded figure holding Artemis’ father captive tells him to find the Aculous, an artifact stolen and hidden by the Fowls in exchange for his father’s life. 

            Artemis, with the help of his loyal butler Dom (Nonso Anozie-RocknRolla, Cinderella (2015), Game of Thrones), a fairy cop known as Holly Short (Newcomer, Lara McDonnell), and a dwarf named Mulch (Josh Gad-Frozen 1 and 2, The Angry Birds Movie 1 and 2, Beauty and the Beast (2017)) must locate the Aculous and use its power to save his father before time runs out. 

            The film also stars newcomer, Tamara Smart as Juliet, Judi Dench (Shakespeare in Love, James Bond franchise, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel) as Commander Julius Root, Hong Chau (Inherent Vice, Downsizing, Watchmen (HBOSeries)) as Opal Koboi, Nikesh Patel (Midsomer Murders, Indian Summers, Doctor Who) as Foaly, and Joshua McGuire (The Hour, Mr. Turner, Cinderella (2015)) as Briar Cudgeon. 

            Overall, Artemis Fowl fails to recapture the magic and bold storytelling of the book and instead turns a story that has a lot of potential for a movie into another generic, tiresome young-adult adaptation with one-dimensional characters, wooden acting, practically paper-thin plot, and loud, overblown, and badly edited action sequences to boot. I’ll give the film some credit that it’s at least visually appealing with Branagh’s trademark monumental directing style in check, but why does it matter when your characters are dull, not enough substance to keep the audience invested, and lacking in world building and character development? 

            But let’s get to my biggest problem with this movie, it’s BORING! Yeah, they somehow manage to make a movie about 12-year-old criminal mastermind, a fairy cop, and a dwarf with a cartoonishly big mouth reminiscent of The Mask boring, that is more of a crime that any of the Fowl family’s robberies. 

            Most of the movie takes place in a house, the action sequences have an overabundance of unconvincing CGI, the camera work is dizzying during the action, the non-human character designs feel ripped from other movies (The giant troll looks exactly like a Warcraft orc, bad CGI and all), and the performance by Shaw is terrible and fails to leave an impression. I feel so bad criticizing this kid’s performance since this is his first acting role in a feature film, but hopefully he’ll be able to get good work in the future, also the plot is somehow both complex and empty at the same time

            It’s a shame because I can see a movie like this working had the script, directing, and acting were better. There is enough material in Colfer’s book that could be translated to film, but it all boils down to execution and this is how not to do a Y.A. book adaptation. 

            Artemis Fowl is awful, plain and simple. It fails both as an adaptation of the book and as a movie in general, when you decide to watch it, everyone loses. 

The Lovebirds review

THE LOVEBIRDS: 

WILD NIGHT ROM-COM IS A FUNNY ALBEIT FORMULAIC TIME WASTER! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

NETFLIX AND PARAMOUNT PICTURES

Kumail Nanjiani and Issa Rae in The Lovebirds

            A couple unintentionally gets tangled up in a murder mystery plot in The Lovebirds, the new romantic-comedy directed by Michael Showalter (Wet Hot American Summer, Hello, My Name is Doris, The Big Sick) and starring Kumail Nanjiani (Silicon Valley, The Big Sick, Stuber) and Issa Rae (Insecure, The Hate U Give, The Photograph). Originally scheduled for a theatrical release by Paramount but was delayed due to the closing of movie theaters during the COVID-19 pandemic to the point where the studio decided to pawn it off to Netflix. 

            This is Showalter and Nanjiani’s second collaboration together following The Big Sick in 2017 which was unanimously praised by critics and audiences with its smart writing, bold characters, and legitimate drama, clearly The Lovebirds will be a worthy follow-up to that movie…Eh, not exactly. While The Big Sick is a movie with a lot of replay value, The Lovebirds comes off as a perfectly average and enjoyable time waster while you’re in the moment and never watch it again afterwards. 

            The concept of a bickering couple getting roped into a wild night of shenanigans that brings them closer together by the end is nothing new and this film doesn’t really add much variety to that formula anyway. If you’ve seen the 2010 Steve Carell and Tina Fey comedy, Date Night then you pretty much already know the plot of this movie. 

            However, much like Date Night the chemistry between its leads is where the movie shines and a good chunk of the humor, though I’ll go on record and say I did not laugh nearly as often as I did with Date Night. It’s not a bad thing but I just want to throw that out there, with all that out of the way, let’s talk about The Lovebirds.

            The film follows Jibran (Nanjiani) and Leilani (Rae), who have been together for quite some time, and it really shows in their relationship. They both constantly argue about a variety of things and they just don’t have the same affection for each other that they had four years ago. 

            However, these two “Lovebirds” get in a huge pickle when Jibran accidentally hits a biker with his car and a mysterious man with a Mustache (Paul Sparks-Boardwalk Empire, House of Cards, Thoroughbreds) claiming to be a cop hijacks the car to repeatedly run the biker over and over again to death…oh, and he flees from the scene immediately afterwards. Believing they will be blamed for the crime because of their indescribable story and racial profiling, Jibran and Leilani go on a wild and outrageous journey to clear their names from one hilarious situation to the next. 

            The film also stars Anna Camp (True Blood, Pitch Perfect trilogy, Café Society) as Edie, Kyle Bornheimer (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Casual, Marriage Story) as Brett, and Moses Storm (Unfriended, Father of the Year, Sunnyside) as Steve. 

            Overall, The Lovebirds is a moderately fun comedy romp with some laughs, a gripping mystery, and strong performances by its leads. It isn’t perfect though, at times some of the jokes feel extremely forced, and both Kumail Nanjiani and Issa Rae constantly bicker and ramble all throughout the film; sometimes it can be funny but other times it feels like their long, rapid-speaking dialogue grinds the movie to a halt and you just want them to shut up for about 5 minutes. 

            With that said, Kumail and Issa’s performances are quite good despite their bickering getting annoying after a while. Kumail is pretty much portraying the same character he played in Stuber, but it works for a movie like this and Issa as the loud, ecstatic girlfriend, they (almost) work perfectly but their characters take a dive into constant arguing for most of the running time. 

            I get it, their relationship isn’t as strong as it used to be, but do they really need to argue and bicker every chance they get? It’s an issue with both the characters and the plot itself because literally as soon as their romantic first date ends and the “Four Years Later” text appears they’re in the middle of an argument and their relationship is starting to fall apart, I would have preferred more buildup to that so it would be easier to grow attached to them and root for them to get back together by the end, as is it feels a bit rushed. 

            The Lovebirds doesn’t quite offer the wild night comedy its trailers advertised, but it makes for a perfectly serviceable one-viewing movie. It has its funny moments and the performances by Kumail and Issa are good for this kind of movie, if you’re curious then it wouldn’t hurt to give it a watch. 

            However, if you’re looking for a non-stop laugh riot, you’d be better off watching Date Night instead. The Lovebirds is funny, but it doesn’t really leave an impression once it ends, so be a little cautious while watching it.