Pinocchio review

PINOCCHIO: 

DISNEY REMAKE IS MOSTLY FAITHFUL TO THE ORIGINAL FILM…BUT THEN IT ALL GETS SHIPWRECKED! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** out of 4

DISNEY+

The beloved wooden puppet comes to life in Pinocchio

 

            The world of Pinocchio comes to life (again) in the latest of Disney’s live-action remakes, Pinocchio. The film is a re-imagining of Disney’s 1940 animated feature of the same name, based on the book by Carlo Collodi. 

            I watched the original film numerous times as a kid, though it wasn’t a Disney movie I watched constantly like some of the later Disney Renaissance titles. For the times I’ve seen it, I really enjoyed it growing up and as an adult, I appreciate the dark and disturbing edge the film has (But still not nearly as dark and disturbing as the original book I mean, jeez!). 

            After several other film adaptations of Collodi’s book, both in live-action and animation with…interesting results (Including one coming out later this year by Guillermo del Toro!), it was only a matter of time before Disneywould hit the remake button on their Pinocchio film. Given how their live-action re-imaginings of animated films have become very successful in recent years, I guess it makes sense. 

            I didn’t really have any expectations with this one, but I was intrigued when Robert Zemeckis (Back to the Future trilogy, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Cast Away) was announced as the director while Tom Hanks (Toy Storyfranchise, Cast Away, Elvis), who had previously collaborated with Zemeckis on films like Forrest Gump, Cast Away, and The Polar Express would portray Geppetto. Now that it’s finally out on Disney+, I put the movie on, watched it, and…it’s not as good as the original. 

            I will give this film credit for being faithful to the original even right down to Pinocchio’s design resembling his hand-drawn counterpart. Sadly, this remake just can’t quite blur the line between recreating the source material and drastically changing it. 

            The film follows Geppetto (Hanks), an elderly woodcarver who has just made his magnum opus, a wooden puppet of a boy he names Pinocchio. One night he makes a wish upon a star that the puppet could be a real boy and is soon granted by the magical Blue Fairy (Cynthia Erivo-Widows, Bad Times at the El Royale, Harriet). 

            Pinocchio (voiced by Benjamin Evan Ainsworth-The Haunting of Bly Manor, Flora & Ulysses, Son of a Critch) is now alive and begins his journey to becoming a real boy with the aid of his loyal conscious, Jiminy Cricket (voiced by Jordan Gordon-Levitt-Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Looper). Along the way, he becomes a sensation in a puppet show run by the dastardly, Stromboli (Giuseppe Battiston-Days and Clouds, La Passione, After the War), escapes a seemingly pleasant amusement park that transforms bad children into donkeys, and confronts the notorious sea creature known as Monstro. 

            The film also stars Kyanne Lamaya as a puppeteer girl whom Pinocchio befriends named Fabiana, Lewin Lloyd as Lampwick, Luke Evans (The Hobbit trilogy, Fast & Furious 6, Beauty and the Beast (2017)) as The Coachman, and features the voices of Lorraine Bracco (Goodfellas, Hackers, The Sopranos) as Sofia the Seagull, Keegan Michael-Key (Key & Peele, Tomorrowland, Keanu) as Honest John, and Jaquita Ta’le as the voice of Fabiana’s puppet, Sabina. 

            Overall, this new retelling of Pinocchio may not be the worst of Disney’s live-action remakes, but it pales in comparison to its classic predecessor and is an unfortunate victim of an unfocused narrative that tries to be both similar and different to the original. Unlike Disney’s remakes of The Jungle Book or Aladdin where they take the stories in new directions with sprinkles of elements from the source materials woven in, this one felt like a shot-for-shot remake with very random changes made in various spots that don’t add up. 

            For starters, they removed a couple iconic songs including Give a Little Whistle and replaced them with very inferior alternatives that aren’t that catchy nor memorable. During the sequence where Pinocchio is taken to Pleasure Island where those kids are being turned into donkeys, he does not smoke nor does he drink beer, which I know would be problematic and controversial for Disney, so they constantly reassure the audience that he’s drinking root beer which makes zero sense in the story’s context, and to make matters worse, there’s a scene where a bunch of runaway kids are destroying a clock shop in the park and Pinocchio looks horrified while this happens and worries that his dad wouldn’t like to see him doing that, to which I was just like “Did you guys even see the movie?” and jumped to the conclusion that this Pinocchio actually aspires to be like the live-action Belle or Mulan rather than a real boy, perfection with very few flaws or interesting things about the character, something I really don’t like about a lot of Disney’s live-action characters in recent years. 

            Just because Pinocchio smokes, drinks, and gets into trouble every now and then, does that mean he’s a bad kid? No, it means he’s a kid and the original film does a solid job at reminding people that kids can be a little mischievous at times. If you don’t want to have him smoke or drink in this movie, that’s fine, let him cause some trouble in the amusement park so the inevitable donkey transformation feels more justifiable (Also, this PG-rated Pinocchio remake’s donkey transformation is significantly less scary than the G-rated original). 

            Also, there are these weird people made out of smoke that sell the donkey children off now…WTH? Monstro is no longer a whale, instead he’s a sea monster, it’s like the Disney equivalent of replacing the giant octopus monster from Watchmen with a nuclear explosion. 

            The ending also isn’t handled well, in the original Pinocchio becomes a real boy and it’s a satisfying and rewarding conclusion to the film. Guess what? Not in this version, how about a very half-ass Frozen-like ending that might have worked in something like Shrek, but in a remake of one of the most famous and iconic animated features of all time? JUST STOP! 

            I guess in terms of positives, I appreciate Pinocchio’s classic design, CGI Jiminy Cricket was much less nightmare fueled than I initially thought, the production design is impressive, and most of the acting is fine. However, despite all the talents in front of and behind the camera, it is not enough to save this confused mess of a remake.

            I guess if you’re really curious to check it out, you can watch it on Disney+ for free, but if you’re looking for a really great Disney film from Robert Zemeckis and featuring Jiminy Cricket, might I suggest watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit instead while you sell this possessed toy for five shillings…see what I did there?