UglyDolls review

UGLYDOLLS:

COLORFUL PLUSHY ANIMATED ADVENTURE IS WARM-HEARTED BUT BLAND AND FORGETTABLE!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** out of 4

STX FILMS

The Land of Perfection is going to have some strange unexpected guests in UglyDolls

            The good news is the latest animated cash-cow, UglyDolls is NOT the Emoji Movie of 2019…the bad news is it still isn’t a very good movie. Based on the line of plush dolls of the same name, UglyDolls were apparently successful enough to warrant an animated movie because The Lego Movie? *awkward shrug*

            When the film was first announced and I got a glimpse at the poster and trailer, I was completely dismissive of the idea. I can understand a movie based on Legos or even Angry Birds but was anyone asking for an UglyDolls feature film on the big-screen? I sure wasn’t.

            However, unlike something like The Emoji Movie where the concept alone felt like an insult to human intelligence, I wasn’t really offended towards the idea of a movie based on UglyDolls but more puzzled and confused as to why it was even made. Judging by the trailers it at least looked like there was a little bit of thought and good intentions put into the movie. 

            It looked harmless for kids at best but dumb and heavily studio controlled at worst and now that I’ve seen the movie…it lives up to most of the expectations I had. UglyDolls has sparks of imagination and an inoffensive moral about being who you are, unfortunately these wholesome topics of identity and personality take a backseat to a tired and formulaic plot seen in a million other movies and it isn’t even a colossal trainwreck that angers me instead it’s just a colorful and well-intentioned but bland and forgettable feature-length toy commercial that may entertain your little kids for an hour and a half. 

             The film is set in the world of Uglyville where deformed dolls get whisked away to from the conveyer belt in a doll factory because of their flaws. One of these dolls is Moxy (voiced by Kelly Clarkson-American Idol, Broke*, Trolls World Tour) who dreams of leaving Uglyville and enter the real world in search for the perfect child that will love her forever. 

            One day Moxy and her band of misfit friends, Lucky Bat (voiced by Wang Leehom-The Iron Giant (Mandarin dub), Love in Disguise, Blackhat), Ugly Dog (voiced by Pitbull-Epic), Wage (voiced by Wanda Sykes-The Chris Rock Show, Over the Hedge, Ice Age 4 and 5), and Babo (voiced by Gabriel Iglesias-The Book of Life, Coco, Ferdinand) come across a giant hole where new Ugly Dolls are dropped from the conveyer belt and decide to enter it in hopes that it will lead them into the real world. They stumble across the Institute of Perfection which houses human-like dolls that compete in a series of tests known as the Gauntlet to be with their perfect child…oh, and everyone there is a model along with their everyday jobs and occupations (I’ll give you a minute to groan at that joke). 

            After being scolded by the head of the institute, Lou (voiced by Nick Jonas-Jonas Brothers, Camp Rock 1 and 2, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle), Moxy and her crew decide to prove him wrong by competing in the Gauntlet and earning their child. However, this suave and seemingly perfect doll has some diabolical agendas as he tries everything in his power to prevent the Ugly Dolls from winning the competition and is hiding some dark secrets about the dolls’ history.

            The film also features the voices of Blake Shelton (Pitch Perfect 2, The Angry Birds Movie) as Mayor Ox, Janelle Monáe (Rio 2, Hidden Figures, Lady and the Tramp (2019)) as Mandy, Emma Roberts (Unfabulous, Nancy Drew, It’s Kind of a Funny Story) as Wedgehead, Bebe Rexha as Tuesday, Charli XCX (The Angry Birds Movie) as Kitty, Lizzo (Wonderland, Hustlers) as Lydia, Ice-T (Trespass,Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,Tupac: Resurrection) as Peggy, Jane Lynch (Glee, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Wreck-It Ralph/Ralph Breaks the Internet) as Scanner, the film’s director Kelly Asbury (Shrek 2, Gnomeo & Juliet, Smurfs: The Lost Village) as Gibberish Cat, Oliver, Chef, and Buttons, and Rob Riggle (Saturday Night Live, 21/22 Jump Street, Hotel Transylvania 2) as Exposition Robot.

            Overall, UglyDolls may satisfy younger viewers but compared to other far superior family movie alternatives and much more on their way soon, it doesn’t offer much to recommend. It’s basically every single outcast movie premise with hardly any variety or new perspectives on it, almost as if the script was generated out of tired animated movie clichés by the studio’s chairman(s), dropped it on the director’s table and said to the director “Make us some money!” without putting any passion into the project as a desperate attempt to make a quick buck off a successful property.

            Had the filmmakers took a similar approach as Toy Story or The Lego Movie, there could have been a clever, totally original animated movie based on UglyDolls. Sure, Toy Story and The Lego Movie are based on existing properties or at the very least existing properties are name-dropped but there was a lot of passion and thought put into both films and were unique and original without ever pandering to the audience for their money. 

            Perhaps the filmmakers and studio had no idea what to do with these UglyDolls since there isn’t much of a narrative background behind these dolls, so they just threw this movie together at the last minute with a note saying, “We tried”. It’s a shame because there is a good moral in here about being who you are and not letting anyone judge you but when you see it being associated with twerking dolls and a rapping dog voiced by Pitbull it plays more like the studio notes being projected on the screen rather than a wholesome animated movie.

            So, it’s not good enough for me to recommend but it also isn’t bad enough for me to get a genuine reaction out of it. UglyDolls is just a bland failed attempt at a feature-length toy commercial that plays it too safe and not taking any risks in either its message or narrative, even with characters and environments this colorful and vibrant it’s a dull experience that I probably won’t remember in the next few days.

            If you got little kids who want to see UglyDolls, they might enjoy it but the parents watching may feel miserable and wish there was a vulgar, smart-alecky, talking Pikachu on-screen instead. Save your full-length toy commercial money for next weekend’s Pokémon: Detective Pikachu, at least that looks like a family movie that is taking risks and not playing it safe and conventional.