TED 2:
WHILE IT HITS A LOT OF “BEEN
THERE, DONE THAT!” MOMENTS FROM ITS 2012 PREDECESSOR, FANS OF SETH MACFARLANE
WILL MOST LIKELY GET WHAT THEY’RE EXPECTING!
By Nico Beland
Movie Review: *** out of 4
UNIVERSAL
PICTURES
Mark
Wahlberg reprises his role as John Bennett with the foul-mouthed talking teddy
bear, Ted in Ted 2
Newcomer film director, Seth
Macfarlane (Ted, A Million Ways to Die in the West), and creator of such hit Fox comedy cartoons as Family Guy, American Dad, and The
Cleveland Show returns to his foul-mouthed talking teddy bear roots with
his film directing career in the sequel to the 2012 comedy hit, Ted as well as Macfarlane’s movie
directional debut. Whether you like his humor or not, pretty much back when Ted first came out in theaters in summer
2012, it was a surprise hit with critics and audiences, with a positive score
on Rotten Tomatoes as well as the
film making lots of money at the box office…at least until The Amazing Spider-Man and The
Dark Knight Rises came out that same summer, but I digress.
Due to the first film’s success,
Seth Macfarlane now brings us the sequel, Ted
2, in which he, Mark Wahlberg (The
Fighter, Lone Survivor, Transformers: Age of Extinction),
Jessica Barth (CSI, Cougar Town, Get Smart), and Giovanni Ribisi (Meadowland, Avatar, Selma) reprise their roles as
foul-mouthed, weed smoking, Ted, “Thunder Buddy for Life”, John Bennett, sexy
cashier and Ted’s girlfriend, Tami-Lynn, and Donny, that creepy villain from
the first movie who once again plans to kidnap Ted.
Where we last left our lazy, drug
doing, heroes, we find Ted finally marrying his sexy girlfriend, Tami-Lynn and
his childhood best friend and Thunder Buddy for Life, John Bennett trying to
get over a recent divorce he had with Lori (Re member Mila Kunis’ character fro m
the first movie?), but Ted keeps pushing John forward and encouraging him to go
out there and see some chicks, of course while getting wasted and high with a
teddy bear. So for the most part, life is going swell for Ted and Tami-Lynn, who
plan to have a baby, but there’s one tiny problem, *sighs* I hate to sound so
crude but…Ted’s got no penis!
So after failed at tempts to get
sperm samples from Tom Brady and Sam Jones (Flash
Gordon) John volunteers to give Ted a sample of his sperm for him and
Tami-Lynn to have a baby. Unfortunately it all goes downhill when the
government claims Ted is not a person due to him being…you know, a teddy bear
who magically came to life one Christmas night.
Ted and John hire a beautiful young
lawyer named Samantha Leslie Jackson (Amanda Seyfried-Mean Girls, In Time, Les Miserables) AKA Sam L. Jackson who
agrees to help Ted prove himself in a court of la w that he is human before he
becomes “Property”. Meanwhile the evil Ted-fetishing Donny, now working for the
evil corporation known as Hasbro
(That’s right, the company evil enough to give Transformers testicles and create the Brony fan base) plots to capture Ted after the jury claims Ted to
be non-human and bring him to Hasbro
so they can manufacture millions of Ted bears for all the kids, he would make
his fat son Robert proud.
So it’s a race for civil rights for
Ted, John, Samantha, and Tami-Lynn and they better hurry before Ted becomes the
next big corporate sellout since Transformers
2.
Overall Ted 2 is pretty much what it sounds like, a sequel to a very crude,
vulgar comedy about a talking teddy bear that was made by the same guy who
created Family Guy, so if you’re a
fan of Seth’s work, Family Guy or
otherwise, chances are you’ll probably find something to laugh at in Ted 2, but everyone else should stay the
fuck away from it, if you’re not a fan of Seth Macfarlane’s sense of humor, don’t
even try, this is not your movie, you’re better off watching a comedy like Spy or Pitch Perfect 2.
I was a tad disap pointed that John
and Lori broke up especially after all that build up in the first movie, but
once Amanda Seyfried took out that bong in her office and could not understand
any form of movie references I’m like, she opposites Wahlberg’s character
perfectly.
One great thing I can say about Ted 2 is the film gave us more funny
moments with the extremely talented and hilarious Patrick Warburton (Family Guy, The Tick, The Venture Bros.)
who now has a hot new boyfriend (Michael Dorn-Star Trek: The Next Generation), these two made me laugh so hard
beer came out my nose (I saw this at a 21+ theater, by the way!), one of which
was during a big climax at the New York
Comic Con, which knowing me had me laughing all the way (See Con Recaps!)
involving them dressed up as characters that the geek population would know
right away.
So like I said, if you liked Ted and Seth Macfarlane, you’ll probably
enjoy Ted 2, and if you don’t…suck
it.
IT’S SATIRICAL: The Moviewatchin’
Psychop ath! Respects Different Opinions And Will Not Judge You By Your Thoughts
And Interests!
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