LORD OF THE RINGS MAKES FANTASY LOVE WITH DUNGEONS & DRAGONS AND THE DUDE FROM BIG LEBOWSKI!
By Nico Beland
Movie Review: F+ (1 ½ stars)
Ben Barnes, Jeff Bridges, and Julianne Moore in a battle between humans and witches in Seventh Son
From director, Sergei Bodrov (Mongol) comes a visually impressive fantasy adventure that literally borrows from pretty much every single fantasy film in the genre, from The Lord of the Rings to the dreadful Dungeons & Dragons, I am of course talking about Seventh Son, based on the novel, The Spook’s Apprentice by Joseph Delaney. I haven’t read Delaney’s book, but as a moviegoer, the premise an
characters are very cliché and unoriginal, you name it, the young farm boy who
is a weakling but learns to become a hero, the old advi sor, the evil sorceress
who becomes a dragon, and a blandly written love interest for the hero.
In a time long past where humankind and the supernatural have been fighting in an everlasting war, an evil power is about to be unleashed upon the world when an evil dragon witch, Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore-Crazy Stupid Love, Altman, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 1) plans to lead an army of supernatural transforming witches and destroy humanity for good using a powerful stone to awaken the Blood Moon and regain the witches’ power.
The only person who can stop her is a Spook advisor known as Master John Gregory (Jeff Bridges-Tron, The Big Lebowski, Iron Man) who is training farm boy, Tom Ward (Stardust, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, Sons of Liberty) to become a hero that can put an end to Malkin’s wrath. Problem is he’s not very strong and has a terrible shot with throwing daggers and swords to boot.
So Master Gregory and Tom must train long and hard if
they are to defeat Malkin’s army of
supernatural terror. The army consists of witches that can transform into giant
lizard monsters, dragons, bears, and other menacing creatures and an army of
witch soldiers, led by Radu (Djimon Hounsou (How to Train Your Dragon 2, Guardians
of the Galaxy) who is apparently a new character that was made just for the
movie and does not appear in the book.
During their journey, Gregory and Tom meet two companions, an ogre-like creature that delivers the pain and heavy lifting and a beautiful young teleporting witch named Alice Deane (Alicia Vikander-Anna Karenina) who Tom falls for and gives him information about Malkin.
Overall, Seventh Son is an incredibly weak fantasy film; almost nothing original is present in this flick. However the special effects and creature designs can be a lot of fun, Jeff Bridges is always a joy to see, although I’m not a fan of his accent in this movie, and Julianne Moore is a great villain as Mother Malkin.
But I wish everything else could be just as enjoyable as the effects, Bridges, and Moore. The story lacks in both detail and originality, most of the characters are fantasy movie stereotypes with not much new added
to them, and it lacks
consistency, one witch can teleport while the others can only fly a nd there’s a
giant flaming skeleton knight in Gregory’s chamber that Tom has to fight but
the movie doesn’t explain why it’s there and what’s its backstory, I’ll take
watching the Eragon movie again over
this, YES, I JUST SAID THAT!
With that said, Bridges and Moore are worth admission price and some decent effects and 3D, st
ory wise, not a damn chance. I guess if you’re a fan of the original
book, you may find something to enjoy in this film, though I’m not entirely
sure seeing how I have not read the book, but as a moviegoer, I got some small
bits of amusement out of it, but if you want something more entertaining and clever,
come back to me when the Jupiter
Ascending and The SpongeBob Movie:
Sponge Out of Water reviews are written and posted.