Onslaught review

ONSLAUGHT: 

ADRIA ARJONA KICKS ASS IN BLOOD-DRENCHED ACTION FLICK! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

A24

Adria Arjona in Onslaught

 

            Adria Arjona (Emerald City, Pacific Rim: Uprising, Blink Twice) fights her way through a barrage of super soldiers, none of whom are carrying a shield of Vibranium, in Onslaught, the new film from A24 and director Adam Wingard (You’re Next, Blair Witch (2016), Godzilla VS Kong 1 and 2). This definitely seemed like the most mainstream movie independent studio A24 has ever done, even more so than Alex Garland’s Civil War from 2024, because you normally think of experimental and niche filmmaking from them. 

            It’s a film that doesn’t have any non-linear or unconventional plotting, psychological themes, or bizarre storytelling that A24 movies are often known for. This is a straight-up action movie with a very simple story, a runtime of only 92 minutes, and a whole lot of violence; I was entertained. 

            It’s not a particularly deep or complex movie that stands among A24’s best (Not even close), but it’s just a fun, bloody action film with an endearing performance by Adria Arjona. In an age where everyone is so obsessed with independent studios putting out award-worthy projects, sometimes releasing a dumb, fun movie like this is okay.

            The film is set in New Mexico and follows army sniper Celeste (Arjona), who manages a trailer park in the desert,t taking care of her daughter Daisy. But when they’re soon attacked by a squad of super soldiers created for the United States government by a Nazi scientist, Celeste arms up and begins taking the soldiers down to protect the ones she cares about. 

            The film also stars Alex Pereira as The Butcher, Dan Stevens (Marshall, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, Cuckoo; who previously appeared in Wingard’s 2014 film The Guest) as Dr. Hans Kammler, Eric Wareheim (Tim & Eric, Master of None, Mister America) as Kovacks, Reginald VelJohnson (Die Hard 1 and 2, Family Matters) as Celeste’s neighbor and Vietnam War veteran Josiah, Michael Biehn (The Terminator, Aliens, Tombstone) as Baylor, Drew Starkey (Love, Simon, The Hate U Give, Queer) as Cyrus, Rebecca Hall (The Prestige, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Godzilla VS Kong 1 and 2) as Hans’ wife Hanna Kammler, Maurice Greene as Teddy, and Jacob Scipio (Bad Boys 3 and 4, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Passenger) as Celeste’s ex-husband Griffin. 

            Overall, Onslaught doesn’t exactly break the action movie mold, but it delivers all the gory, violent goods balanced out with compelling enough characters and a decent amount of heart. I’ll be honest, st I had no idea this movie was set in the same continuity as The Guest (A film I have not seen) when I went to see it, and now that I’ve seen this, I’m curious to see how they both connect with each other. 

            Despite that, Onslaught still works as a standalone movie and can be enjoyed on its own merits; I wasn’t lost during my viewing of it trying to understand references I didn’t understand. It’s sort of like Split or 10 Cloverfield Lane, where it’s its own movie that just happens to be set in the same universe as another film. 

            The plot is pretty standard: bad guys are unleashed and go on a violent rampage; the hero, or in this film’s case, heroine, has to kill them all. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, re and for this kind of movie, it’s done well enough. 

            Adria Arjona is great in the movie, with Celeste having a lot of potential as a new badass action movie heroine. Yes, Arjona can gun down baddies and go on profanity-filled rants, but she also sells the genuine, sweet moments between her and her daughter and even her neighbor friend played by Reginald VelJohnson; all three of them are very likable, and you want to see them overcome this obstacle. 

            The action scenes are exhilarating and filled with R-rated carnage where characters get shot, sliced, and chopped up with blood spraying and exploding everywhere. One aspect I really like about the actisequences is thatatt,  amidst the chaos and bloodshed, the camera will pan over to show bystanders in pain or calling someone on the phone, which adds a frightening edge on top of an otherwise entertaining collection of action. 

            Onslaught isn’t giving John Wick or The Raid a run for their money, but if you’re looking for a tense and exciting night of action, guns, blood, and engaging enough characters, this is one super soldier formula worth taking. You know, I wonder if Captain America could beat these super soldiers? 

By Any Means review

BY ANY MEANS: 

SOLID YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II/MARK WAHLBERG TEAM-UP! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Mark Wahlberg in By Any Means

 

            Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (The Trial of the Chicago 7, Ambulance, Wonder Man) and Mark Wahlberg (The Departed, The Fighter, Transformers 4 and 5) join forces to solve a series of civil rights leader murders in By Any Means, the new film from Elegance Bratton (The Inspection) and is inspired by the true story of FBI agent Lindley DeVecchio and mafia hitman turned informant Gregory Scarpa. I thought the movie looked good when I saw the trailer, though I don’t know anything about the real-life events or people; it seemed like a decent buddy crime thriller with Wahlberg and Mateen II that also hits on some heavy social issues. 

            I didn’t see Bratton’s previous film, The Inspection, so this is my first exposure to his work and…yeah, I like this movie. It’s not a great film, and I’ve seen other movies of this magnitude that handled this sort of setup and subject matter better, like Spike Lee’s BlacKkKlansman, but what makes it work well is the chemistry between the two leads, who are great. 

            The film is set in 1966 Mississippi and follows FBI agent Wayne Strider (Mateen II, the movie’s stand-in for Lindley DeVeechio, who is forced to work alongside notorious mafia hitman Gregory Scarpa (Wahlberg) to investigate a series of murders of civil rights leaders. Strider soon finds himself pulled into a deadly hunt where justice and vengeance begin to blur,r and when the system is broken, these two men, en divided on everything, agree on one thing: The law is limitless; they’re not. 

            The film also stars Nicole Beharie (Sleepy Hollow, 42, Miss Juneteenth), Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad, The Mandalorian, Marvel Cinematic Universe) as Vernon Dahmer, Josh Lucas (A Beautiful Mind, The Lincoln Lawyer, Ford v. Ferrari), David Strathairn (Lincoln, Nomadland, Nightmare Alley), Ethan Embry (That Thing You Do!, Blindspotting, Christy), LisaGay Hamilton (Jackie Brown, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later, Vice), and LaChanze (Hercules, The Help, Highest 2 Lowest). 

            Overall, By Any Means doesn’t really do anything new with this kind of genre and gives the exact movie you’d expect, but what makes the film are Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Mark Wahlberg’s performances. It is so much fun to watch these two together, with Mateen II being the straight man to Wahlberg’s psychotic antics; they bounce off each other extremely well and make the movie an entertaining ride. 

            It’s fun watching and hearing them bicker and fight with each other while trying to investigate the murders. Honestly, I could just watch an entire movie where it’s the two of them sitting down in a diner or something and talking to each other for two hours and still come out satisfied; that’s how good their chemistry is here. 

            Because this is a film set in the 60s during the Civil Rights Movement, it touches on a lot of social issues and themes of racial prejudice, and it is very effective,e though I felt BlacKkKlansman was a lot more impactful with its themes. The ending of that movie stayed with me after I was done watching it; this didn’t really have the same effect, but it’s all done well, and they are important and relevant topics in our culture that should and must be discussed and explored. 

            The plot is your standard buddy movie and hits all the notes you’d expect from a film like this: the duo doesn’t get along, one of them is aggressive and violent, there’s a falling out in the second act, they get back together, and arrest and kill some fucking racists. Not gonna lie though, it is very satisfying and cathartic seeing white supremacists getting beaten to a pulp by Mark Wahlberg; that should be the typical punishment for being a racist. 

            By Any Means isn’t really a movie you gotta flock out to see immediately, but it’s a good discount day or AMC A-List or Regal Unlimited film with amazing performances by Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Mark Wahlberg and an engaging enough story even if it is very run-of-the-mill and does a lot of buddy movie clichés. The chemistry between the two leads is more than enough to at least give it a watch, whether in theaters or on streaming.  

Fall 2: Deadpoint review

FALL 2: DEADPOINT: 

SEQUEL HAS A BUMPY LANDING! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** ½ out of 4

LIONSGATE

Harriet Slater and Arsema Thomas in Fall 2: Deadpoint

 

            In the tradition of sequels nobody asked for, the one about the two girls stuck on top of an old radio tower got one in Fall 2: Deadpoint, the follow-up to the 2022 survival film, Fall. Confession time: I completely missed the first Fall when it was released in theaters, not sure why, because I heard it was pretty decent; I guess I was too focused on other things at the time. 

            But I watched it for the first time last night and…yeah, it’s good, very tension-filled and gets your adrenaline going in a similar way to Gravity and The Shallows. It’s a frightening scenario, and the film really highlighted that,t though it could have been trimmed down by about ten minutes, as there are some moments where it drags a bit and keeps it from being great. 

            Apparently, it was a big hit (At least on Netflix), and it somehow spawned a sequel with The Spierig Brothers (Daybreakers, Predestination, Jigsaw) taking over directing duties from Scott Mann, though he is still credited as a writer and producer. I had zero expectations going into this, even after finally watching the first. Aside from seeing the trailer a couple of times, I almost forgot this was coming out. 

            But now that I’ve educated myself on the first movie, how’s the sequel?... Ehhhhhhhhh. Out of all the pointless sequels I’ve seen, this isn’t one of the worst, nor would I even consider it terrible, but it’s a very been-there, done-that continuation of a movie that just isn’t franchise material, that ain’t gonna stop them though! 

            After the death of her sister Shiloh Hunter (Becky’s friend from the first movie), Jax (Harriet Slater-Pennyworth, Belgravia: The Next Chapter, Outlander: Blood of My Blood) agrees to travel to Thailand with Shiloh’s daring friend, Luce (Arsema Thomas-Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story, Redeeming Love, She Taught Love) to pay tribute to her by conquering a treacherous plank walk on Mount Kwan. But when a sudden rockslide leaves them stranded at 30,000 feet, Jax and Luce will have to push their limits and cooperate to stay alive. 

            The film also stars Tom Brittney (Grantchester, Greyhound, Back in Action). 

            Overall, Fall 2: Deadpoint isn’t without some genuinely suspenseful moments, and the performances by Slater and Thomas are solid, but it hits almost all the same notes as its predecessor,r except replace the radio tower with a plank walk on a mountain. It feels like a movie that’s trying to create the “Fall Formula,” like, okay, here’s another scene where the characters have to get their backpack in a do-or-die situation, here’s a scene where one of them gets injured real bad, and here’s another scene where there’s no phone service to call for help. 

            Despite the film revolving around new characters, it really feels like a “Here we go again” sequel that’s trying to recapture the tension of the first, but it’s just repetitive. I wish this movie did something clever or unique with the scenario instead of copying the first, because had it been able to do its own thing, I think we could have had something on par with the first film and be just as gripping. 

            There are some tense moments in the film; one in particular involving a bridge before the climax had me on the edge of my seat (We’ll get to what follows that sequence up in a moment though). I guess despite the movie trying to recreate the first, the peril when the two women are stranded on the plank is effective enough. 

            For the most part, Fall 2 is a mid-at-best movie, but the last act of the film is so incredibly stupid that it tanks the entire thing. This movie about two women stuck at 30,000 feet and trying to survive decided…it needs a villain and a drug-smuggling subplot. I am not making this shit up, and aside from the opening, it isn’t even mentioned until the climax, and it doesn’t work at all. 

            It so didn’t fit with the movie that it reminded me of how Pitch Perfect 3, for whatever reason, decided to have villains and an action movie-style final act. That’s the one aspect of the film I didn’t see coming, ming and it wasn’t for the best. 

            Fall 2: Deadpoint is a sequel that exists…no more; there are some thrilling sequences, and Harriet Slater and Arsema Thomas give fine performances. But I found it to be a rather uninspired follow-up to a movie that didn’t need to be continued. I highly doubt many people will be flocking to the theater to go see this, especially with so many other, better movies out now. It’s best to just let this film fall and be forgotten about. 

The Dog Stars review

THE DOG STARS: 

AN EPICALLY MADE BUT SOULLESS RIDLEY SCOTT JOINT! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** out of 4

20^TH CENTURY STUDIOS

Jacob Elordi and Josh Brolin in The Dog Stars

 

            Director Ridley Scott (Alien, Gladiator 1 and 2, The Martian) is back, and this time, he enters a post-apocalyptic future in his latest film, The Dog Stars. The film is based on the 2012 novel of the same name by Peter Heller, but since I did not read the book, I will be judging it on its own merits. 

            While not every movie of his has been a home run, I admire Ridley Scott as a filmmaker and how versatile he is with his projects; whether it’s a sci-fi/horror movie about aliens exploding out of people’s chests, a grand historical epic, or even a crime thriller, there’s no denying that he’s a man of his craft. The guy’s in his fucking 80s, and he’s still working and bringing some of the most epic spectacles ever filmed to the screen. 

            I was curious about this, though,gh like I said, I know nothing about the source material; I was just here to see a high-quality Ridley Scott epic set in a post-apocalyptic world. Man, The Dog Stars was quite a letdown. 

            I wouldn’t call this Ridley Scott’s worst film; if you ask me, that dishonor goes to 2001’s Hannibal, and to his credit, this is a well-made movie in terms of the cinematography and production design, but it’s such a nothing movie that I’m struggling to remember what I just watched (And I came out of this film like 2 hours ago). Not even the cast,t which consists of actors I absolutely love, putting their all into it, could save this material. 

            The film is set in 2035, after a devastating pandemic almost eradicated humanity, and follows Hig (Jacob Elordi-Priscilla, Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights), a civilian pilot who lives with his dog, Jasper, and a military survivalist known as Bangley (Josh Brolin-True Grit (2010), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Dune trilogy). But when he gets a mysterious radio transmission, Hig ventures into the unknown in search of the hope and humanity he believes still exists. 

            The film also stars Margaret Qualley (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, The Substance, Blue Moon) as Cima, Guy Pearce (Memento, Iron Man 3, The Brutalist; who previously worked with Scott on Prometheus) as Jack, Allison Janney (Juno, I, Tonya, The Creator) as Darlene, and Benedict Wong (Moon, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Weapons) as Aaron. 

            Overall, The Dog Stars is impressive from a cinematography perspective, ve and most of the acting is solid; unfortunately, the film comes crashing down because of a bland script, flat characters, and sluggish pacing. Granted, I thought the movie started off strong in the beginning and has an absolutely chaotic climax, but it is a slog in the middle, and none of the characters were able to keep me invested in what was happening. 

            The sad part is it could have been a potentially interesting premise: humanity is nearly wiped out after an unknown virus, and the remaining people need to survive. It sounds like a great idea even with Ridley Scott behind the camera, but I don’t know what happened here because The Dog Stars mutated from what could have been a fascinating and compelling movie into a dull snooze-fest that’s just under 2 hours but feels like it’s over 3. 

            Most of the acting is good, with Josh Brolin being a big standout as a man obsessed with and always prepared for the apocalypse. Even though the material doesn’t really do him any favors, he knows what kind of character he’s playing and does his thing. 

            Jacob Elordi and Margaret Qualley are fine,e and I guess I bought their chemistry enough.h, Guy Pearce is almost unrecognizable as Qualley’s father, and he’s good in the amount of screen time he has. Allison Janney isn’t as prominent as the other leads, but she goes big with her performance here and gives…one of the few memorable things in the film. 

            However, despite a strong cast, their characterization is almost non-existent, and the film doesn’t try to make you care about these people. Outside of Brolin, I can’t remember anything about Elordi or Qualley’s characters, and a film where I fail to connect with the characters,s especially the main characters, rs fails completely. 

            I like the premise of this movie, but the script is so derivative of other post-apocalyptic stories and hardly does anything new or interesting with its ideas. There’s even a scene where it felt like Ridley Scott blatantly ripped off the War Boys from Mad Max: Fury Road in a scene where these survivors who have gone insane are trashing a place and getting shot by Brolin. 

            I’ll throw this movie a bit of a bone (No pun intended) with the way it looks; this is at least a beautifully shot film with epic landscapes of mountains and forests. I’m not advising people to go see this in theaters because it’s such a boring slog, but the shots of the landscapes looked great on the big screen. 

            Yeah, you know how Ridley Scott criticized Marvel movies’ scripts and called them boring as shit? Well, guess what, Mr. Scott? I found your new movie, The Dog Stars, boring as shit! This isn’t his worst movie because there are impressive aspects about it, but it’s a soulless and empty slog with characters I couldn’t get attached to and a waste of an interesting premise and my time. 

            My advice: stick it to him and go see The Odyssey again instead. It’s longer, but it’s much better paced, has characters you actually give a shit about, and the story is engaging. Or if you really hate him, go see Spider-Man: Brand New Day, a Marvel movie; again, you have better choices than this dull mess. 

Coyote VS ACME review

COYOTE VS ACME: 

AN ABSOLUTELY CHAOTIC AND “LOONEY” COURT CASE IN THE BEST WAY! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: **** out of 4

KETCHUP ENTERTAINMENT AND WARNER BROS. PICTURES

Wile E. Coyote has had enough in Coyote VS ACME

 

            After so many failed attempts to catch the Road Runner, Wile E. Coyote teams up with Will Forte (Saturday Night Live, Nebraska, Strays) to take the ACME Corporation down in Coyote VS ACME, the latest film from director Dave Green (Earth to Echo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows) based on the Looney Tunes and the second to be distributed by Ketchup Entertainment after last year’s The Day the Earth Blew Up. The Looney Tunes have had a pretty interesting few years with Warner Bros. shelving and canceling projects for tax write-offs; 2021’s Space Jam: A New Legacy was a massive critical and commercial disaster, and hardly any new Looney Tunes projects are being made these days. 

            But then, independent studio Ketchup Entertainment acquired the distribution rights for this and The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie and let them see the light of day after being neglected by their once-respected owners. At this point, WB should just give Ketchup the rights to the entire Looney Tunes franchise because clearly, they don’t know what they’re doing with the property. 

            As someone who has defended Looney Tunes: Back in Action (Their second live-action/animated hybrid film after the original Space Jam) for years, I gotta say, Coyote VS ACME completely trumps it and especially both Space Jam movies. This is such a good movie with consistent laughs, surprisingly ingenious storytelling, and even some genuine heart. There’s no basketball with Michael Jordan or LeBron James or a magic diamond that turns people into monkeys; it’s the Looney Tunes doing their looney things in the real world, and it is fun. 

            The film follows Wile E. Coyote, who has been trying to catch the Road Runner for years with ACME products constantly blowing up in his face (Literally!). But when he sees an ad on TV for a personal injury law firm that specializes in cartoon violence, Avery, Jones, and Maltese (A cute little nod to cartoonists Tex Avery and Chuck Jones and screenwriter Michael Maltese), Wile E. takes the left turn to Albuquerque and joins forces with down and out billboard attorney, Kevin Avery (Forte) and take the ACME Corporation to court. 

            However, they soon learn that ACME is hiding a terrible secret that will make this case explode in biblical proportions. 

            The film also stars John Cena (Bumblebee, Fast & Furious franchise, Peacemaker) as ACME lawyer Buddy Crane, Lana Condor (X-Men: Apocalypse, Alita: Battle Angel, Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken) as Paige Avery, Tone Bell (Dog Days, Little, Trigger Warning) as Sal Maltese, Luis Guzmán (Boogie Nights, Traffic, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie) as Judge Troppogrosso, Martha Kelly (Baskets, Euphoria, Marriage Story) as Dottie Jones, P.J. Byrne (The Wolf of Wall Street, A Complete Unknown, The End of Oak Street) as Bill Pellicano, Kenneth Choi (Sons of Anarchy, The People v. O.J. Simpson, Marvel Cinematic Universe) as Oscar Jeon, and John Early (30 Rock, Search Party, Eternity) as news anchor Henry Heslop; and features the voices of Eric Bauza (The Adventures of Puss in Boots, Muppet Babies, Rick and Morty), Candi Milo (Dexter’s Laboratory, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, ¡Mucha Lucha!), and Jim Cummings (Winnie the Pooh, Darkwing Duck, Star Wars franchise) as various Looney Tunes characters including Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, Tweety, Granny, Witch Hazel, and the Tasmanian Devil. 

            Overall, Coyote VS ACME may not dethrone Who Framed Roger Rabbit as the new standard for live-action/cartoon animation hybrids, but it is easily the best since that film and a great big love letter to the Looney Tunes. I was laughing constantly and smiling every time a character I recognized appeared or a reference to a previous cartoon that I understood was made. 

            I’m serious, if you love the classic Looney Tunes cartoons, especially if you grew up with them, a lot of the fun of this movie is catching all the characters and references because there is so much in here; I felt like I was going looney myself while watching it. My only big complaint with the references is that they did not have a cameo by Steve Martin, who played the evil ACME chairman in Looney Tunes: Back in Action, or the monkey version of him; that was a missed opportunity. 

            I was sold on the premise alone: Wile E. Coyote suing ACME after years of their products failing on him during his pursuits of the Road Runner, and it does not disappoint. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds,s and the actors fully embrace the wackiness of this id; between this and Clint Eastwood’s Juror #2, it begs the question of why Joker 2 was the most important courthouse-themed movie to Warner Bros.

            John Cena in particular is having a ball as ACME’s lawyer, who plays this role that requires interacting with non-existent cartoon characters completely straight, which makes his scenes even funnier. He knows exactly what kind of character he’s playing,g and he has fun with it: a stern, no-nonsense lawyer who threatens Tweety over what he “Tawt” he “Taw”; forget Peacemaker, this is Cena’s best performance. 

            Will Forte is a good straight man to Wile E. Coyote’s zaniness, almost like a Bob Hoskins Eddie Valiant and Roger Rabbit relationship (Minus the toon racism and alcoholism), and both of them actually have really strong chemistry with each other. It’s fun to see and hear Forte react to Wile E.’s schemes and shenanigans, but he also shows he cares for both this cartoon coyote and the case. 

            The animation is really good,d though it is technically 3D animation made to look like 2D cartoon animation. I personally would have preferred a style similar to the original Space Jam and Looney Tunes: Back in Action, where the characters are hand-drawn with enhancements made to blend them into the live-action environments, but it is very fluid and energetic animation that fits perfectly with the Looney Tunes’ silly and wacky hijinks. 

            Coyote VS ACME is the most glorious middle finger to current Warner Bros. and a darn entertaining Looney Tunes movie that deserves to be seen in theaters. It’s funny, charming, and filled with homages to the Tunes’ glory days. Wile E. Coyote may fail at catching the Road Runner, but he certainly succeeded with this film. 

Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma review

TEENAGE SEX AND DEATH AT CAMP MIASMA: 

I SAW THE 80s SLASHER MOVIE GLOW! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: **** out of 4

MUBI

Hannah Einbinder in Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma

 

            In the tradition of Scream and The Cabin in the Woods, the slasher movie genre is about to get deconstructed even more with outlandish results in Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, the new film from director Jane Schoenbrun (We’re All Going to the World’s Fair, I Saw the TV Glow). Before I go into this film, I should make something perfectly clear to all of you…don’t go in expecting a typical slasher movie because it is not that at all. 

            I was very impressed by Schoenbrun’s previous movie, I Saw the TV Glow, and when I found out they were attached to direct this, I was curious to see what they would bring to the screen here. If you thought I Saw the TV Glow was an absolute fever dream, you ain’t seen nothing yet because Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is fucking weird and does what that movie did with Power Rangers-style children’s shows for 80s slasher films such as Friday the 13^th and Sleepaway Camp (Hell, both those franchises are even mentioned in this film). 

            The film follows queer filmmaker Kris Williams (Hannah Einbinder-North Hollywood, History of the World: Part II, Seekers of Infinite Love) being attached to direct a reboot of the long-dormant Camp Miasma slasher movie franchise that dates back to the 1980s. But when she visits the actress who played the final girl in the original film, Billy Presley (Gillian Anderson-The X-Files, The Pale Blue Eye, Tron: Ares), Kris becomes fixated on casting her in the movie, and various oddities and psychological terrors begin on their quest to film the reboot. 

            The film also stars Sarah Sherman (Saturday Night Live, Nimona, Roommates) as Kris’ agent, Dylan Baker (Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Spider-Man 2 and 3, Trick ‘r Treat) as Jeffrey, Jasmin Savoy Brown (The Leftovers, Scream franchise, Missing) as Mari, Kevin McDonald (That 70s Show, Invader Zim, Lilo & Stitch) as Anthony, and Jess McLeod (One of Us is Lying, It’s a Wonderful Knife, Akashi) as Tracy. 

            Overall, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is a surreal and riveting subversion of the slasher movie genre while also standing as a love letter to both the genre and filmmaking as a whole. Like when I went to see I Saw the TV Glow, I was unprepared for the absolute chaos and mindfuckery of the film and quite often had my jaw hanging open while trying to process what I’m looking at on the screen. 

            It very much is like I Saw the TV Glow except with slasher movies, and just like that film, this feels like a personal story for Jane Schoenbrun. When the movie becomes abstract and surreal, you can kind of argue this is how Schoenbrun perceives the slasher genre and how it affected them at a young age and shaped who they are as an adult. 

 

            In terms of the production design and editing, the film looks fantastic, and you can tell Jane Schoenbrun has a lot of love for 80s slasher movies, even right down to shooting the movie on 35mm film. It really feels like a lost 80s horror movie that you’d probably see on the shelf at a video store,e and I’m not just talking about the scenes where you’re watching the movie within the movie. 

            Probably my favorite sequence in the whole film is this long, continuous shot in the Camp Miasma movie within the movie of the franchise’s killer named Little Death killing people, le set to Counting Crows’ A Long December. It really makes me want to see the Birdman of slasher movies now; that whole scene left a huge impression. 

            The film also does a lot of meta commentary and satire on the slasher genre and the film industry itself, with Hollywood relying almost solely on IP-driven franchise,s which sadly is true even if I enjoy a large amount of them (Coming Soon to a Theater Near You: Hunger Games again, Avengers again, Dune again, Jumanji again, Angry Birds again,…and Werwulf!). Granted, there are times when it feels the film is trying to channel the meta satire of the Scream movies a bit (Neve Campbell is even mentioned), but since this is a movie about making a horror movie, I think it works well enough, and it easily beats the shit out of Scream 7 in terms of genre satire. 

            The movie explores themes I certainly wasn’t expecting, specifically the true meaning behind the Little Death. Some of you might know what that actually means, but for the sake of spoilers, I won’t say it here. 

            This is my first time seeing Hannah Einbinder in something,g and I thought she was great as the filmmaker working on the Camp Miasma reboot. I wouldn’t be surprised if Einbinder’s Kris is actually a surrogate for Jane Schoenbrun because I can definitely see them through her performance;e, she’s witty, forward-thinking, and has some burning desires of her own. 

            Gillian Anderson, though,h is amazing as the reclusive, Billy Presley and has very strong chemistry with Hannah Einbinder. She clocks into work and brings her A-game with some of the best acting I’ve ever seen from her, which could even make Scully from The X-Files blush, almost makes you forget she was in the last Tron movie. 

            Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is a great big love letter to 80s slasher films that completely subverts audiences’ expectations and deconstructs the genre with a wildly ambitious, bizarre, and engaging movie that must be seen to be believed. I don’t see this film winning everyone over, especially those going in expecting a standard slasher movie, but if you know what you’re getting into with this or enjoyed Schoenbrun’s last film, you’ve got quite an experience to look forward to. 

Mutiny review

MUTINY: 

ANOTHER SILLY JASON STATHAM ACTION MOVIE, THIS TIME ON A CARGO SHIP! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

LIONSGATE

Jason Statham in Mutiny

 

            Jason Statham (The Transporter trilogy, Crank 1 and 2, The Expendables franchise) is back to do what he does best in Mutiny, the new action film from director Jean-François Richet (Assault on Precinct 13 (2005), Blood Father, Plane). While not every one of his movies is a winner, there’s no denying that Jason Statham’s got mad charisma as an action star, with some of my favorites of his being the first two Transporter films, The Bank Job, and Crank; he’s tough, charming, and knows how to deliver one-liners; he’s like a British Bruce Willis. 

            Honestly, when a movie of his doesn’t work, it’s because the filmmakers failed to utilize his talents (Meg 2: The Trench, Transporter 3). I still stand by Meg 2 as the worst film of his because not only was his charm unable to save the movie, but it was a boring, overlong slog that suddenly becomes chaotic, stupid fun towards the end. 

            This movie, though, I thought it looked fine from the trailers and Richet’s previous directing effort, Plane, was an unexpected surprise and a thoroughly enjoyable throwback to 80s-90s action movies. Mutiny seemed like it was in the same boat (No pun intended) as that film and…yeah, it is. 

            This movie gave me exactly what I was expecting, and I should stress that’s not a bad thing. I’m not going into Jason Statham action movies expecting John Wick or Mad Max: Fury Road; all I need is a fun, silly movie where he kills the bad guys in over-the-top ways and says a bunch of one-liners and quips. Mutiny gave me just that.

            The film follows Cole Reed (Statham), a former police officer and commando who works for his boss Tibu (Ramon Tikaram-This Life, EastEnders, Pennyworth) as a bodyguard. But when Tibu is murdered and Reed is framed for it, he boards a cargo ship to get revenge on the attackers, only to discover a secret human trafficking operation. 

            The film also stars Annabelle Wallis (X-Men: First Class, Annabelle, Tag) as Angie Ellis, Jason Wong (The Gentlemen, Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant, Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) as Taran, Roland Møller (Darkland, Atomic Blonde, Skyscraper) as Captain Marko Madsen, Arnas Fedaravicius (The Last Kingdom, The White Lotus) as Mateo Pineda, Adrian Lester (The Day After Tomorrow, Doomsday, Mary, Queen of Scots) as Captain Adam Spencer, and Chaneil Kular (Sex Education, Accused, Bodies) as Kameron Campallo. 

            Overall, Mutiny knows what it is and doesn’t try to be a cinematic game-changer in the action movie genre. Much like Plane, it’s just a dumb, fun throwback to 90s action films, one-liners, blood, bullets, and all. 

            If you’ve seen ANY of those macho action movies from the 90s, you know what kind of film this is, and there isn’t much in here in terms of surprises. It follows the formula beat-for-beat with Statham on a vengeful manhunt and won’t stop until justice is served. 

            It’s as formulaic as you could get, but what anchors the movie is Statham himself,f who, yes, is just doing his usual shtick, but it works to the film’s advantage. He is very charismatic and knows how to make wise cracks while kicking ass, but the movie does a decent job of giving him a fair amount of depth and character development, so he isn’t just badass Jason Statham playing himself. 

            In the short amount of time they have together in the beginning, you feel the connection between Statham and his boss, which adds to the tragedy of the boss getting killed in an attack. There are also some interesting things about Statham’s character revealed later on in the film that make him pretty compelling. 

            The action scenes are solid and well-choreographed and edited with tons of that gritty, over-the-top violence with a sick sense of humor you’d expect from a 90s action film. Lots of bullets flying, axes swinging, fistfights, deaths by giant hooks and harpoon guns, and a constant barrage of bad guys for Statham to kill in bloody ways; all that good shit. 

            There’s really not much to say about this movie; if you enjoyed films such as The Beekeeper and A Working Man or even Richet’s other projects, then you’ll probably have a good time with Mutiny. It’s silly, violent, completely absurd, and fueled by Jason Statham’s charisma- the ultimate 90s action flick…that wasn’t released until 2026!