The Monkey review

 Coming Soon! 

Paddington in Peru review

PADDINGTON IN PERU: 

A THIRD HELPING OF MARMALADE AND FAMILY WHOLESOMENESS WITH THE IRRESISTIBLE TITULAR BEAR! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: **** out of 4

COLUMBIA PICTURES

Paddington the Bear in Paddington in Peru

 

            Everyone’s favorite marmalade-loving talking bear who sees the good in everyone is back in Paddington in Peru, the third installment of the Paddington film series based on the books by Michael Bond. The Paddington films were some of the most pleasant surprises I’ve ever had in movie theaters because the first Paddington released back in 2015 (The film was first released in 2014 in the UK) did not have a very appealing trailer when it was being marketed, but then it turned out to be one of the best family films of the 2010s in the same boat as Martin Scorsese’s Hugo and even some of the best fully-animated movies made at the time. 

            It wasn’t riddled with tired kids’ movie clichés, fart jokes, and pop-culture references were only used sparingly like an homage to Mission: Impossible where Paddington was climbing up a vent with hand vacuums, the film is a good-natured, wholesome, and irresistibly charming story about a bear and his new adoptive human family and the adventures they have. It also has one of the greatest Nicole Kidman performances you will ever see as a psychotic museum owner who plots to capture and stuff Paddington.  

The 2017/2018 sequel, Paddington 2 was also a pleasant surprise when I went to see it, not because I thought it looked bad by the trailer (Though I was a little skeptical about a sequel to Paddington initially and whether it could recapture the magic), but because it managed to be even better than the first with a touching story where Paddington tries to raise money to buy a gift for his beloved, Aunt Lucy and gets framed for a robbery caused by a scene-stealing Hugh Grant and the lengths his human family will go to bring their bear home. Not to mention, the always-kind, Paddington making friends in the most unexpected of places and a genuinely beautiful ending scene. 

Now, we have the third film with Dougal Wilson in his feature film directorial debut taking over directing duties from Paul King and Sony Pictures/Columbia taking over as the distributor from Warner Bros., who in turn took the distribution rights from The Weinstein Company, Paddington is the Hellboy of family franchises. I had much confidence in Paddington in Peru especially after how great Paddington and especially Paddington 2 were though Sonychoosing to release this on the same day as Disney’s Captain America: Brave New World is still baffling to me. 

Guess what? The movie about the sweet little bear is leagues better than the new Marvel superhero movie out the same weekend. I still think Paddington 2 is the best of the series, but this film once again is a charming movie that will instantly warm of the hearts of both kids and adults with Paddington still being one of the most endearing and easily lovable characters in cinema only this time, he’s bringing his magic from London to Peru. 

The film follows Paddington (voiced by Ben Whishaw-James Bond franchise, The Danish Girl, Mary Poppins Returns) receiving a letter from the Home for Retired Bears informing him that his Aunt Lucy (voiced by Imelda Staunton-Vera Drake, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Pirates! Band of Misfits) has gone missing in the jungles of Peru. So, Paddington and the Brown family consisting of Henry (Hugh Bonneville-Downton Abbey, The Monuments Men, Muppets Most Wanted), Mary (Emily Mortimer-Elizabeth, Hugo, Mary Poppins Returns; replacing Sally Hawkins from the previous films), Judy (Madeleine Harris-Me and Mrs. Jones, Man Down), Jonathan (Samuel Joslin-The Impossible), and Mrs. Bird (Julie Walters-Harry Potter franchise, Mamma Mia! 1 and 2, Brooklyn) pack their bags and travel from London to Peru to find her while also encountering an eccentric treasure hunter named Hunter Cabot (Antonio Banderas-Desperado, Spy Kids franchise, Shrek franchise) and his daughter, Gina (Carla Tous) who seek to find the lost city of El Dorado along the way. 

The film also stars Oliva Colman (The Favourite, The Mitchells VS the Machines, Wonka) as The Reverend Mother, Jim Broadbent (Time Bandits, Brazil, Bridget Jones franchise) reprising his role as Samuel Gruber, Hayley Atwell (Marvel Cinematic Universe, Christopher Robin, Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One) as Madison, Simon Farnaby (Wonka) as Barry the Flight Attendant, and Ella Bruccoleri (Call the Midwife, Polite Society, The Strangers: Chapter 1) as Rosita the Nun. 

Overall, Paddington in Peru may not pack as big an emotional punch as the second film, but it is still an incredibly wholesome and sweet family movie and a worthy third chapter in a new perfect film trilogy. I will admit this film is the weakest of the trilogy as it does feel more like a jungle adventure movie that just happens to involve Paddington and less like a legit Paddington movie, but the comedy is still very funny and often reminiscent of the old Buster Keaton films and the heartfelt moments are effective. 

Antonio Banderas is a big standout here as a treasure hunter who wants to use Paddington to find gold and is also haunted by literally his own demons with the ghosts of his ancestors taunting him throughout the film. Not quite as memorable as Hugh Grant from Paddington 2, but a wonderful hammy antagonist who does go through an arc over the course of the movie where he has to decide on what his true treasure is between gold and his daughter. 

Hugh Bonneville still delivers some genuinely funny lines as Mr. Brown and Emily Mortimer is a decent replacement for Sally Hawkins as Mrs. Brown though it did take some time to get used to that actor change, but she does well. Olivia Colman gets some laughs as this suspicious-looking nun who is secretly hiding something about Aunt Lucy’s disappearance and Julie Walters gets some standout moments as Mrs. Bird, some of her best bits from all three films in fact. 

But what truly makes this film work is Paddington himself and his genuine kindness and gentlemanly but also curious personality. He is very clumsy and screws things up sometimes, but he always means well and it’s usually to benefit someone else whether a member of the Brown family, his Aunt Lucy, or the people he meets on his adventures with some of his best scenes being when he’s paired up with Antonio Banderas’ Hunter. 

Sam Wilson might have told Paddington he’s “On his left” and Captain America will likely be the big moneymaker for the weekend. But in terms of film quality, Paddington politely asked Sam if he could please move to the right so he can run ahead of him and he did so with very good manners. 

Captain America: Brave New World review

CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD: 

SAM TOLD STEVE HE’D DO HIS BEST; HIS BEST IS GOOD ENOUGH! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

MARVEL STUDIOS

Anthony Mackie in Captain America: Brave New World

 

            Anthony Mackie (8 Mile, The Hurt Locker, Detroit) dons the shield and takes on the mantle as Captain America from Chris Evans in Captain America: Brave New World, the latest installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the fourth Captain America film. This marks the first Captain America movie without Chris Evans or the Steve Rogers character as it takes place after the events of Avengers: Endgame and the Disney+ series, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier with Mackie’s Sam Wilson becoming the new Captain America. 

            Despite not being that impressed by some of the MCU’s recent outings aside from Spider-Man: No Way Homeand Deadpool & Wolverine, I was curious to see how this movie would turn out when it was announced even if I felt there was no need to continue the Captain America movies after 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier and 2016’s Captain America: Civil War which were landmarks in the superhero/comic book genre. But I enjoyed The Falcon and the Winter Soldier series even if the last episode didn’t quite stick the landing for many so, I was interested in Anthony Mackie’s first solo Captain America movie under direction by Julius Onah (The Cloverfield Paradox) and the verdict…it’s okay. 

            Apparently, the film is garnering mixed reactions from people and truth be told, both sides are validated here especially after Civil War was such a massive juggernaut in 2016. For me personally, I don’t think this movie is terrible as there are a lot of aspects about it I very much admired, but it doesn’t exactly leave that big an impression after the credits. 

            The film follows Sam Wilson/Captain America (Mackie) meeting with newly elected U.S. President Thaddeus Ross (Harrison Ford-Star Wars franchise, Indiana Jones franchise, Air Force One; replacing William Hurt from the previous films) who asks for his help in rebuilding the Avengers. However, Sam soon finds himself in the middle of an international incident and must discover the reason behind a global plot before the mastermind makes the world see red. 

            The film also stars Danny Ramirez (The Gifted, Assassination Nation, Top Gun: Maverick) as Joaquin Torres/Falcon, Shira Haas (The Zookeeper’s Wife, Broken Mirrors, Asia) as Ruth Bat-Seraph, Carl Lumbly (South Central, A Cure for Wellness, Doctor Sleep) reprising his role from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier as Isaiah Bradley, Xosha Roquemore (Precious, The Butler, Space Jam: A New Legacy) as Leila Taylor, Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad, The Mandalorian, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem) as Seth Voelker/Sidewinder, and Tim Blake Nelson (Holes, Colossal, Nightmare Alley) reprising his role from The Incredible Hulk as Samuel Sterns/Leader. 

            Overall, Captain America: Brave New World is a passable MCU film that is a significant step down from previous Cap adventures, but Anthony Mackie’s likable performance as Sam Wilson, solid action scenes, and engaging enough storytelling make it an entertaining watch while in the moment. I think my biggest issue with this movie is that it doesn’t really take Marvel audiences anywhere new whereas the previous Captain America movies did either in terms of the MCU or comic book films in general. 

            Captain America: The First Avenger was a superhero movie set during World War II times with Captain America fighting Nazis, Captain America: The Winter Soldier was basically a political thriller that revolved around an evil Hydra conspiracy hidden within S.H.I.E.L.D., and Captain America: Civil War was an epic clash between Captain America and Iron Man among other Avengers over the Sokovia Accords. Brave New World is another political thriller with yet another conspiracy only this time it’s with the U.S. Government and Thaddeus Ross that I was invested in, don’t get me wrong, but it felt cheapened when compared to how The Winter Soldier had a similar plot and did it better in 2014. 

            With that said, I actually thought the stuff with Ross’ transformation into the Red Hulk (Which is not a spoiler because it’s in all the advertising and trailers) was pretty well-handled in this film with him not being on speaking terms with his daughter, Betty (Liv Tyler’s character from The Incredible Hulk) and secret revelations about him and actions from his past going public. Despite the marketing portraying Ross as like a villain (And given certain real-life events, that probably was intentional), that’s not really the case in the film itself as he is trying to change and make amends for past events which adds to the tragedy of the Red Hulk transformation, he goes through an arc over the course of the story and one of the most easily detestable characters in the MCU ends up being quite endearing here. 

            Anthony Mackie once again is great as Sam Wilson though there’s not much that’s different about him compared to his appearances in previous Marvel movies or The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. But he’s still very charismatic, funny, and has enjoyable chemistry with his co-stars especially with Harrison Ford’s Thaddeus Ross. 

            Harrison Ford is an excellent replacement for William Hurt as Thaddeus Ross and brings his A-game to the character. It also helps I’ve been a fan of Ford for a long time thanks to growing up with Star Wars and Indiana Jonesand does a stellar job encompassing this character while making it his own, Harrison Ford is not trying to imitate William Hurt’s performance, he’s doing his own take just like when Don Cheadle took over as Rhodey in Iron Man 2 and Mark Ruffalo as the Hulk in The Avengers. 

            Captain America: Brave New World had the potential to bring the Marvel Cinematic Universe back on track with a fascinating political thriller plot in the same vein as The Winter Soldier, but in the end it feels very jumbled together because of multiple screenwriters and reshoots. It’s not Thor: Love and Thunder or Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania but coming off of one of the greatest comic book movies of all time with Captain America: Civil War, this one is simply an entertaining Marvel movie that’s ironically not all that “New”. 

Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy review

BRIDGET JONES: MAD ABOUT THE BOY: 

A FUNNY AND SURPRISINGLY MOVING FINAL CHAPTER OF BRIDGET’S DIARY! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** ½ out of 4

PEACOCK, UNIVERSAL PICTURES, AND MIRAMAX

Renée Zellweger in Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy

 

            Renée Zellweger (Chicago, Cold Mountain, Judy) returns as Bridget Jones in Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy, the fourth and final chapter of the Bridget Jones film series dating back to 2001 with the hit comedy, Bridget Jones’s Diary. On the surface, these films seem like the most generic, uninspired, chick flick/rom-com fluff you could find on par with a Garry Marshall movie like Runaway Bride or The Princess Diaries. 

            But I was quite surprised when I watched Bridget Jones’s Diary for the first time years ago and found it very funny and even heartwarming at times without it being overly shmaltzy or formulaic. Sure, it relies on a lot of love-triangle clichés but it works because of Renée Zellweger, Colin Firth, and Hugh Grant’s performances and some very witty dialogue, it’s a solid rom-com that’s coming from someone who doesn’t really follow the genre that much. 

            The 2004 sequel, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason is objectively the worst in the series and repeats many of the same beats as the first, but even that movie has its share of funny moments and once again Zellweger, Firth, and Grant have great onscreen chemistry despite the subpar material. 2016’s Bridget Jones’s Baby I watched for the first time the day before watching this one and much like the first, I was pleasantly surprised and thought it was a very charming third chapter where Bridget gets pregnant and she’s unsure who the father is between Colin Firth’s Mark Darcy and a new second love interest character played by Patrick Dempsey. 

            Which brings us to the fourth and final film, Mad About the Boy with Michael Morris (To Leslie) directing and the film skipping an American theatrical release and going straight to the Peacock streaming service (It was released in theaters in the UK). After watching it, I have to say Universal dumping this on Peacock instead of releasing it in US theaters was an incredibly stupid decision because not only is this a great Bridget Jones film but it’s the best since the 2001 original. 

            The film follows Bridget Jones (Zellweger) who is now a widowed mother after her husband, Mark Darcy (Colin Firth-Love Actually, The King’s Speech, Kingsman 1 and 2; who still appears in the film through Bridget’s memories) was killed in a humanitarian mission in Sudan. She tries her best to raise her two children with some assistance by a new nanny named Chloe (Nico Parker-Dumbo (2019), The Third Day, Reminiscence) and Bridget’s womanizing ex-boyfriend, Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant-Paddington 2, Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, Heretic) and even jumps back into the dating pool. 

            However, once she starts dating again, Bridget soon finds herself caught between a younger man (Leo Woodall-Cherry, The White Lotus, One Day) and her son’s science teacher, Mr. Scott Wallaker (Chiwetel Ejiofor-12 Years a Slave, The Martian, Doctor Strange 1 and 2). 

            The film also stars Emma Thompson (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Nanny McPhee 1 and 2, Saving Mr. Banks) reprising her role as Dr. Rawlings, Jim Broadbent (Brazil, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Paddington trilogy) reprising his role as Colin Jones, Gemma Jones (Sense and Sensibility, Harry Potter franchise, Rocketman) reprising her role as Pamela Jones, Isla Fisher (Wedding Crashers, Strays, Dog Man) as Rebecca, Josette Simon (Milk and Honey, Wonder Woman, Pokémon: Detective Pikachu) as Talitha, Leila Farzad (I Hate Suzie, The Marvels, Kaos) as Nicolette, Sarah Solemani (Skins, Bad Education, Greed) reprising her role as Miranda, Sally Phillips (Veep, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Blinded by the Light) reprising her role as Sharon “Shazza”, Shirley Henderson (Harry Potter franchise, Frozen (2005), Okja) reprising her role as Jude, James Callis (Battlestar Galactica, Eureka, Austenland) reprising his role as Tom, Celia Imrie (Nanny McPhee, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 1 and 2, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again) reprising her role as Una Alconbury, and Ian Midlane (Doctors, The Last Witness, Young Sherlock) as Paul. 

            Overall, Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy is definitely the most emotion driven of the Bridget Jones films, but it’s still balanced out with plenty of laughs and charm, not to mention Zellweger’s always delightful onscreen presence. Saying Zellweger is great is a huge understatement and she excels at both strong comedic timing and the somber, dramatic moments. 

This is easily the most I cared for her Bridget Jones character out of the films because it explores a different side of her, grief over her husband’s death. You really feel the pain she’s going through and her struggles of trying to raise her children all by herself and re-enter the world for the first time in ages and Zellweger’s performance as the titular character is what truly makes it work though it probably won’t gain awards attention compared to Cold Mountain and Judy, but this is still Renée Zellweger Bridget Jones at her best. 

Hugh Grant’s Daniel Cleaver is probably the most evolved out of all the returning characters as he’s gone from womanizing creep to a supportive ex-lover to Bridget and their scenes together are quite touching at times which is crazy given their past. Chiwetel Ejiofor is no replacement for Colin Firth, but I actually really enjoyed his character here who is first presented as a stern school teacher, but as he starts to spend time with Bridget and her kids becomes very charming and lovable over the course of the film.  

 What really shocked me about this film was the fact that Bridget Jones 4 (BRIDGET JONES 4 OF ALL MOVIES!) actually got me in the feels a few times regarding Colin Firth’s Mark Darcy character. Whether it’s him appearing in Bridget’s head when she remembers him or this genuinely beautiful scene involving Bridget and her kids releasing helium balloons with messages to their deceased husband/father and one more scene towards the end involving a solo song performance by her son, these moments I found very effective and well-handled. 

The movie is still a comedy and there are some very funny scenes and lines here, one in particular involving Emma Thompson and “Twat” that had me laughing hard. Bridget’s monologue still has plenty of witty dialogue and another funny scene where she’s unable to log into Netflix because the passwords are incorrect (I dare not give away what they are). 

Much like the first Bridget Jones and Bridget Jones’s Baby, Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy was a pleasant surprise and a worthy concluding chapter to Bridget’s diary with laughs, tears, and homages to the earlier films that I’m sure people who have been watching these movies since 2001 will appreciate. Much like the diary itself, I must now bookend this review. 

Heart Eyes review

HEART EYES: 

THE FEEL-GOOD ROMANTIC SLASHER FILM OF THE YEAR AND I MEAN THAT GENUINELY! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** ½ out of 4

SCREEN GEMS

The Heart Eyes Killer in Heart Eyes

 

            In the tradition of My Bloody Valentine, writer-producer Christopher Landon (Happy Death Day 1 and 2, Freaky, Drop) and director Josh Ruben (Scare Me, Werewolves Within) join forces to bring their take on a romantic slasher film to the screen just in time for Valentine’s Day in the new movie, Heart Eyes. I’ve actually been very impressed by a lot of recent slasher films including the recent Scream sequels and Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving so, I was definitely interested when I first saw the trailer for this movie. 

            Well, after being disappointed by the Ke Huy Quan Valentine’s Day action movie, Love Hurts which came out the same day, I can say with much enthusiasm that Heart Eyes is the far better Valentine’s Day 2025 release. This was a blast; I found the film very entertaining as both a slasher movie and surprisingly as a romantic-comedy complete with derivative tropes, the film affectionately nails both genres which will certainly make for an enjoyable date night. 

            The film follows the Heart Eyes Killer who for the past few years has been stalking and murdering couples on Valentine’s Day (It’s Heart Eyes’ kink). Now, the killer makes his/her way to Seattle where pitch designer for a jewelry store, Ally (Olivia Holt-Kickin’ It, Girl VS Monster, Cloak & Dagger) and famed designer, Jay Simmons (Mason Gooding-Booksmart, Scream 5 and 6, Y2K) become Heart Eyes’ new victims…but they aren’t really a couple though. 

            However, as these two not quite star-crossed lovers try to survive the night, Ally and Jay realize they might have more feelings for each other than they expected. Might not be a good time to be romantic when there’s a serial killer on the loose that murders couples. 

            The film also stars Gigi Zumbado (Pitch Perfect 2, Bridge and Tunnel, The Rookie) as Ally’s friend Monica, Michaela Watkins (Saturday Night Live, Enough Said, Brigsby Bear) as Abby’s boss Crystal, Devon Sawa (Casper, Final Destination, Chucky) as Detective Hobbs, Jordana Brewster (The Faculty, Fast & Furious franchise, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) as Detective Jeanette Shaw (And yes, they do make a reference to that in the film), Latham Gaines (Bridge to Terabithia) as Nico, and Yoson An (Mulan (2020), Plane) as David. 

            Overall, Heart Eyes is unironically a feel-good romantic-comedy slasher film that succeeds in both genres. The movie hits a lot of rom-com tropes and clichés (mostly in a self-aware sort of way), but it works because Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding have surprisingly great onscreen chemistry. 

            I can’t say I’m super familiar with their other work aside from this being a far better movie for Gooding than Y2K, but they are incredibly likable here and their romantic progression is very natural in the film to a point where you sometimes forget you’re also watching a slasher movie. Holt and Gooding do the boy meets girl routine where they’re interested in each other but also kind of awkward at the same time, it works because they’re so charming and makes you legit care for them in both romance and serial killer attack scenarios. 

            Speaking of which, the kills are over-the-top and creatively gory though not quite on the same caliber as something like Thanksgiving, but it has plenty of gloriously bloody moments such as someone’s head getting crushed in a wine press and a person being impaled through the mouth by getting slammed into a tire iron that was also just used to stab another person in the mouth. 

            The film is also quite funny at times without ever feeling out of place with a lot of the humor coming from characters’ reactions to Heart Eyes’ kills or just very well-timed witty dialogue. There’s this really funny bit where Holt and Gooding hide in a vehicle at a drive-in when Heart Eyes is trying to get them and there’s a clearly stoned couple making out in the back unaware that there’s a killer on the loose and a glorious take on the “You must run to him” cliché in which several romance movie titles are said that made me smile. 

            The Heart Eyes Killer character I can definitely see going down as a new horror movie icon that encompasses a lot of characteristics and traits of other classic slasher movie killers most notably Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, and yes, even Ghostface from Scream. Heart Eyes does a lot of the same sort of things those slasher icons did while also having a few unique tricks of his/her own like having light up heart eyes that double as night vision goggles to catch the victims. 

            I will admit, I did catch on to who the Heart Eyes Killer turned out to be before the big reveal even happened. It didn’t ruin the movie for me, but as soon as they did the killer’s identity fake-out and another character reappears in the film, I called it pretty quickly. 

            Heart Eyes is bloody, romantic fun and follows in the footsteps of Black Christmas, Thanksgiving, and My Bloody Valentine as a new holiday slasher classic. It has gore, humor, and solid romantic leads, something for everyone on date night. 

Love Hurts review

LOVE HURTS: 

THIS MOVIE HURTS MORE! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** out of 4

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

Ke Huy Quan in Love Hurts

 

            The incredibly charismatic Key Huy Quan (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Goonies, Everything Everywhere All at Once) goes from Oscar winner to Short Round equivalent of John Wick in Love Hurts, the new action-comedy produced by David Leitch (Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2, The Fall Guy) with Jonathan Eusebio in his directorial debut. I was actually looking forward to this movie after I saw the trailer and thought it looked like a fun action movie with over-the-top violence and tongue in cheek humor (Which there are elements of here), plus Ke Huy Quan has been such an onscreen delight lately after 2022’s Everything Everywhere All at Once. 

            It seemed like it was going to be in the same vein as Nobody with Bob Odenkirk or the upcoming Jack Quaid movie, Novocaine…unfortunately, that is not the case with this film. Despite some fun moments and Ke Huy Quan’s lovable charm, this is a muddled and pretty lackluster clone of other, better action movies that’s neither funny nor exciting enough. 

            The film follows successful realtor, Marvin Gable (Quan) living a happy life and has just been awarded the highest honor by his boss. But when he receives a mysterious red envelope from a woman known as Rose (Ariana DeBose-West Side Story (2021), Wish, Argylle), Marvin’s past life as a hitman comes back to haunt him with his crime lord brother, Knuckles (Daniel Wu-Warcraft, Tomb Raider (2018), Reminiscence) out to hunt him down thrusting him back into life of deadly hitmen and open houses becoming bloody warzones. 

            The film also stars Marshawn Lynch (Bottoms) as King, Mustafa Shakir (Luke Cage, Cowboy Bebop (2021), Ghosted) as Raven, Lio Tipton (Crazy Stupid Love, Warm Bodies, Vengeance) as Ashley, Rhys Darby (What We Do in the Shadows, Jumanji 2 and 3, Our Flag Means Death) as Kippy Betts, André Eriksen (DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, The Trip, Violent Night) as Otis, Sean Astin (Rudy, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, 50 First Dates) as Cliff Cussick, Cam Gigandet (Twilight, Easy A, The Magnificent Seven (2016)) as Renny Merlow, and Drew Scott (Madison, Brother VS Brother, Saturday Night Live) as Jeff Zaks. 

            Overall, Love Hurts is sadly not the Go-To Valentine’s Day action movie for 2025 despite Ke Huy Quan’s likability and some fun action scenes. The movie is clearly riding on the coattails of John Wick and other action films without really understanding why movies like John Wick worked. 

            The action scenes are well choreographed and can be fun to watch with sort of that kinetic energy the John Wickfilms, Nobody, and Bullet Train had where it’s almost a non-stop adrenaline rush of bloodshed and people getting killed in crazy, over-the-top ways. I shit you not, a character gets killed by being stabbed in the eye by a Boba straw and it is one of the most ridiculous deaths I’ve seen in a while, alas good action scenes don’t automatically make a good movie. 

            The plot ranges from being paper thin to a colossal mess with no real tension or investment in the characters. John Wick is very action-heavy and over-the-top, but the main character was still defined and you understood his reasoning for going out on a manhunt against criminals because it had a far more engaging story that was made with care and attention to detail whereas this just feels like another version of that and failing. 

            Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose are fine actors and try their best to get something out of the film, but I didn’t buy their chemistry at all here. Quan just wants to leave his old life behind and enjoy his success as a real estate agent while DeBose tricks him back in by wanting his skills as a former hitman to get what she wants ultimately resulting in them falling back in love by the end. 

Sometimes things like that can work with characters like Batman and Catwoman, but you need to flesh the characters out and give them legitimate chemistry in order to make it believable. Until then, Wade Wilson and Vanessa from the first Deadpool remain the definitive Valentine’s Day action movie power couple. 

I don’t know guys; Love Hurts is a stupid Valentine’s Day-themed action movie that exists that may not be one of the worst films of the genre. But coming off of other movies of the genre that do this sort of thing better, it’s a pretty miserable imitation of what could have been an enjoyable detour from typical Valentine’s Day fare. 

Love may hurt, but an anticipated movie you were looking forward to turning out to be a big disappointment hurts even more. Hopefully, the new slasher film, Heart Eyes will be the superior Valentine’s Day 2025 entertainment.