Top 10 Worst Movies of 2019

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2019

1.     Cats

2.    Hellboy

3.     (X-Men) Dark Phoenix

4.     Angel Has Fallen

5.     Rambo: Last Blood

6.     UglyDolls

7.     Gemini Man

8.     The Lion King

9.     Miss Bala

10.  Kim Possible (Disney Channel Original Movie)

Dishonorable Mentions: A Dog’s Journey, A Dog's Way Home, Don't Let Go, The Kitchen, Men in Black: International, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Wonder Park

Top 2019 Movies I Enjoy (or Thought Were Okay) That Were Not Well-Received

Top 10 2019 Movies I Enjoy (or Thought Were Okay) That Were Not Well-Received

 

1.        Godzilla: King of the Monsters 

2.        Brightburn

3.        Dumbo

4.        Charlie’s Angels 

5.        Glass

6.        Maleficent: Mistress of Evil 

7.        Stuber

8.        Escape Room

9.        What Men Want 

10.     Aladdin (Disliked it initially but has since warmed up to it a little!)

 

Runner-Up: Pet Sematary

Top 20 Best Films of 2019

Top 20 Best Films of 2019

 

1.      Parasite

2.      The Lighthouse 

3.      Joker

4.      Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 

5.      Uncut Gems 

6.      Avengers: Endgame 

7.      Dark Waters 

8.      The Farewell 

9.      Toy Story 4 

10.   1917

11.   Booksmart

12.   The Irishman 

13.   A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood 

14.   Blinded by the Light 

15.   Ready or Not 

16.   Rocketman

17.   Knives Out 

18.   Ford v. Ferrari 

19.   Little Women 

20.   John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

 

Honorable Mentions: Abominable, Ad Astra, Alita: Battle Angel, The Angry Birds Movie 2, Another Cinema Snob Movie, Arctic, Batman Hush, Batman VS Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Captain Marvel, Child’s Play, Cold Pursuit, Crawl, Doctor Sleep, Dora and the Lost City of Gold, Dragon Ball Super: Broly, Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, Fighting with my Family, Frozen II, Good Boys, Honey Boy, How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World, Hustlers, Isn’t it Romantic?, It: Chapter Two, Jojo Rabbit, Judy, Jumanji: The Next Level, Just Mercy, The Kid Who Would Be King, Klaus, Lady and the Tramp, Late Night, The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, Long Shot, Midsommar, Missing Link, Pavarotti, Penguins, Pokémon: Detective Pikachu, Queen & Slim, Richard Jewell, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, Shazam!, Spider-Man: Far From Home, Spies in Disguise, Steven Universe: The Movie, Teen Titans Go! VS Teen Titans, Terminator: Dark Fate, They Shall Not Grow Old, Togo, Us, Yesterday, Zombieland: Double Tap 

 

Well-Received Movies That I Didn’t Fully Get Into: Annabelle Comes Home, Downton Abbey, Happy Death Day 2U, The Secret Life of Pets 2 

Spies in Disguise review

SPIES IN DISGUISE: 

ANIMATED SPY ADVENTURE IS A TON OF FUN FOR ALL-AGES, WHETHER HUMAN OR BIRD! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

20^TH CENTURY FOX

(From left to right) Walter Beckett, Lance Sterling, Marcy Kappel, Killian, Ears, and Eyes in Spies in Disguise

            A top spy suddenly gets transformed into a bird and has to stop a criminal mastermind in Spies in Disguise, the latest animated film from Blue Sky Studios and their first film released under Disney after the acquisition of 20th Century Fox. While Blue Sky’s movies are a bit hit-or-miss to me (For every Horton Hears a Who, Peanuts Movie, and Ice Age 1, there are a bajillion crappy Ice Age and Rio sequels), this was the first Blue Sky movie I was interested in checking out at least since The Peanuts Movie in 2015. 

            Sure, a comedic take on spy movies is nothing new as we’ve seen it many times before in both television and film such as Get Smart, Austin Powers, Johnny English, and the 2015 Melissa McCarthy movie Spy to name a few as well as the upcoming Dave Bautista comedy My Spy coming out next year. But it still looked fun to me and had colorful and at times stunning animation, a talented voice cast, and some very funny jokes and references to various spy movie tropes as well as the inevitable homages to James Bond, I was onboard for this film even with the idea of Will Smith turning into a bird…yeah, that was weird.

            But from the moment it started until the end credits, I was laughing, thrilled, and invested in the story and characters. This film is absolutely hilarious, clever, and filled with imagination and surprisingly a lot of heart, all strung together by the charming team-up of Will Smith (Independence Day, Men in Black trilogy, Aladdin (2019)) and Tom Holland (Marvel Cinematic Universe, Dolittle, Onward).

            The film follows cocky H.T.U.V. (Honor, Trust, Unity, and Valor) secret agent Lance Sterling (voiced by Smith) sent on a mission by director Joy Jenkins (voiced by Reba McEntire-Tremors, Reba, Charlotte’s Web (2006)) to retrieve an attack drone codenamed the M9 Assassin from a cybernetically enhanced terrorist known as Killian (voiced by Ben Mendelsohn-Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Ready Player One, Marvel Cinematic Universe). However, when Sterling realizes the suitcase containing the drone is empty and is mysteriously framed for stealing the drone by security forces agent Marcy Kappel (voiced by Rashida Jones-I Love You Man, The Social Network, The Muppets), Sterling has no other choice but to get off the grid and…with effect, DISAPPEAR!

            That’s where Walter Beckett (voiced by Holland) comes in, a young scientific genius who works for Sterling and has invented something that could change both science and spying forever, biodynamic concealment. Sterling carelessly drinks the concoction before Walter can explain what it does, and he transforms into a pigeon, also Walter doesn’t have an antidote made…Oops. 

            So, it’s a wild goose chase (or pigeon chase I should say) as Sterling and Beckett must outrun Marcy, specialists Eyes (voiced by Karen Gillen-Doctor Who, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Jumanji 2 and 3) and Ears (voiced by DJ Khaled) and the rest of the H.T.U.V. agents to turn Sterling human again and prove his innocence by finding Killian, re-obtaining the drone, and saving the world, while also learning about the importance of friendship, teamwork, and putting others’ needs before your own along the way. 

            The film also features the voices of Rachel Brosnahan (House of Cards, Manhattan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) as Wendy Beckett, Masi Oka (Heroes, Hawaii Five-0, Get Smart) as Katsu Kimura, and Carla Jimenez (Lincoln Heights, My Name Is Earl, Fuller House) as Geraldine. 

            Overall, Spies in Disguise is a smart, funny, and action-packed animated movie for the entire family as well as an entertaining spy spoof in its own right with plenty of references and homages to boot. Like the rest of Blue Sky’s films, the animation is stunning and blurs the line between looking cartoonish and realistic, I’m serious, Sterling’s spy car actually looks like a real car whenever it’s on-screen and the animation lends itself to some great comedic slapstick as well as some exciting action sequences. 

            However, where the film truly shines is with the characters particularly Sterling and Beckett. Sterling is this cool, smooth secret agent with an attitude except a lot more huggable than Archer and probably a giant allegory on Will Smith and his charming personality, Beckett on the other hand is a socially awkward but very intelligent and compassionate scientist who invents things to fight fire with kitty glitter and inflatable hugs (I’m not kidding) and all throughout the film tries to teach Sterling that spy missions don’t always have to end in people getting hurt and there can be a peaceful route. 

            Yeah, they’re pretty much polar opposites but they work wonderfully together, and one always has something to teach the other that eventually comes in handy in the story. Not to mention, the character designs are so spot-on that I was convinced I was watching computer-animated versions of Will Smith and Tom Holland, well done Blue Sky.

            Spies in Disguise doesn’t really do much new with the spy movie formula (Aside from turning Will Smith into a pigeon) but the colorful animation, humor, inventive gadgets, and charming characters more than make up for it. Aside from Frozen II this is my go-to animated/family film for the rest of the holiday and I’m seeing a bright future for Tom Holland not just as Spider-Man in the MCU but also in animated films with Pixar’s Onward on its way. 

            This mission guarantees fun for all ages and should definitely be accepted whether you’re a human or a pigeon. I mean, it’s better than Will Smith turning into a hideous fish monstrosity, luckily such a movie does not exist…right? 

Cats review

CATS:

TOM HOOPER’S LATEST MUSICAL ADAPTATION IS A VERY, VERY BAD KITTY THAT MUST BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ½ out of 4

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

The Broadway musical comes to the screen in Cats

            Once in a blue moon, a film comes along that is so bad you cannot believe what you are watching and end up enjoying it because of how uniquely terrible it is. Cats is one of those movies, directed by Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech, Les Miserables (2012), The Danish Girl) and based on the hit Broadway stage musical of the same name by Andrew Lloyd Webber. 

            My expectations were set extremely low the moment I first saw the trailer, no kind way to put this but it looked downright atrocious with its ugly production design, CG effects and animation on par with a Robert Zemeckis motion-capture film, and absolutely horrific anthropomorphic cats with human faces, didn’t Universal learn their lesson from their film adaptation of The Cat in the Hat?

            However, I tried to be optimistic because for the most part I’ve liked Hooper’s work in the past, I think The King’s Speech is an absolutely phenomenal movie and while I wasn’t the biggest fan of his version of Les Miserables there were things about it I admired, and The Danish Girl while flawed had some unbelievable performances by Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander that made up for its historical inaccuracies. Maybe he could turn something as bizarre and odd as Cats into a musical spectacle just in time for the holidays NO!

            Cats is the textbook example of how not to adapt a musical to the screen and finds Tom Hooper making every wrong decision and the result is so disastrous that it’s practically fascinating. When you see Ian McKellen, Judi Dench, Rebel Wilson, and Idris Elba wearing nightmare-fueled cat makeup and cheap-looking costumes do you want to stand up, applaud, and scream “Oscar!” or would you rather shrug, think “What the F#%& am I watching?”, and just laugh it all off? I guarantee the latter option is a lot more entertaining than trying to take this movie seriously. 

            Plot? What plot? It’s literally nothing more than watching a bunch of hideous humanoid cat demons doing cat things except as big musical numbers. Including but not limited to drinking milk, hissing, getting high on catnip, and interacting with equally terrifying looking mice, I’m not kidding if you thought the cats looked bad wait until you see these monstrosities.

            I’ve never seen the Cats musical before and even after seeing the movie I feel like I know even less about the source material than I did coming in if that even makes sense. But I’ll try my best to describe the plot of the movie. 

            In the streets of London, a kitten named Victoria (Francesca Hayward) is abandoned by her owner and the alley cats witnessing it bring her into the world of the Jellicle tribe. Victoria learns about an annual ceremony known as the Jellicle Ball where many cats compete for a chance to go to the Heaviside Layer and be granted a new life and sees an opportunity to find her purpose. 

            While preparing for the Jellicle Ball, Victoria encounters all sorts of colorful characters such as a mysterious magician known as Mr. Mistoffelees (Laurie Davidson-Will, Diana and I, The Good Liar), a fat tabby named Fat Amy I mean, Jennyanydots (Rebel Wilson-Pitch Perfect trilogy, Isn’t It Romantic?, Jojo Rabbit), a capricious tomcat known as Rum Tum Tugger (Jason Derulo-Spinning Gold), a pudgy bourgeois cat named Bustopher Jones (James Corden-The Late Show with James Corden, Trolls 1 and 2, Peter Rabbit 1 and 2), a tap dancing ginger cat known as Skimbleshanks (Steven McRae), a villainous stray who plans to capture the other contestants and reach the Heaviside Layer as a birthright named Macavity (Idris Elba-Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Jungle Book (2016), Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw), an aged glamour cat named Grizabella (Jennifer Hudson-Dreamgirls, The Secret Life of Bees, The Voice), a feline femme fatale known as Bombalurina (Taylor Swift-The Lorax, Taylor Swift: Miss Americana), the ancient theater cat simply named Gus (Ian McKellen-X-Men franchise, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Mr. Holmes), a snooty queen cat named Cassandra (Mette Towley-Hustlers), and the tribe’s wise matriarch Old Deuteronomy (Judi Dench-Shakespeare in Love, James Bond franchise, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 1 and 2) to name a few. 

            The film also stars Ray Winstone (Cold Mountain, The Departed, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull) as Captain Growltiger.

            Overall, Cats is a truly unique failure and one that shouldn’t be avoided, for me this is the musical equivalent of The Room, The Neverending Story III, and Troll 2. It’s the kind of movie where you have your friends over, smoke some pot, have a few drinks, and get lost in this chaotic, bizarre world that is completely bonkers and will make you laugh unintentionally at the choices made in both the story and behind the scenes. 

            Here’s a fun drinking game, take a shot every time a character in this movie speaks normally in contrast to how many times they sing. Literally, most of the film’s dialogue consists of singing and musical numbers with barely any time to breathe in between numbers, it’s like one song followed by 5 seconds of silence and/or normal speaking, and then the next song starts, that is beyond desperate, even The Greatest Showman had better pacing than this, at least the songs sound decent. 

            Besides the hilariously bad pacing and bad production and costume design, the film has several weird moments like the horrific mice as previously discussed and a sequence in which Rebel Wilson cat has a musical number with dancing anthropomorphic cockroaches with human faces around her and for no reason she picks one up and eats it. At that point I started questioning whether I was watching a movie or if I just took a whole bunch of drugs and completely forgot what I took and when I took them. 

            This is also one of the ugliest movies I’ve ever had to sit through and I’m not just talking about the cats, the production design is so unpleasant to look at that it makes The Grinch’s Whoville look like The Wizard of Oz (I’m talking about the 2000 live-action Grinch with Jim Carrey just to make it clear). Nothing looks lively or magical, it feels more like you’re trapped watching a weird fever dream by the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland depicted by the people who made Fear in Loathing in Las Vegas.

            If you’re looking for a completely bonkers and totally insane movie to watch this holiday season and enjoy in an ironic way, then Cats will bring you so much joy. It is a marvel of a failure and my review cannot do it justice, get yourself a ticket and witness this heinous flick. 

Oh, before I forget: 

Clip from The Critic (c) Sony Pictures Television

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker review

STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER: 

FINAL CHAPTER DOESN’T QUITE TAKE THE STAR WARS SAGA TO NEW HEIGHTS BUT CONCLUDES THIS LONG-RUNNING FRANCHISE WITH A SATISFYING AMOUNT OF FAN LOYALTY! 

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

Revisited: ** out of 4

LUCASFILM LTD. 

Rey and Kylo Ren have their final confrontation in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

            George Lucas’ long-running saga comes to a close (at least for now) in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, the ninth main installment of the Star Wars franchise overall and third chapter of the sequel trilogy following 2015’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens and 2017’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi. After Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilm their Star Warsmovies have been hit-or-miss for fans, The Force Awakens was a joyful, nostalgic throwback to the earlier films, Rogue One was a solid detour from the familiar Star Wars movie formula focusing on the people who stole the plans for the Death Star prior to the events of A New Hope, The Last Jedi explored some interesting ideas but ultimately ended up being divisive towards fans, and Solo was a bland and forgettable heist film that didn’t need to exist but had a neat performance from Donald Glover as Lando Calrissian. 

Now, determined to end the Star Wars sequel trilogy with a bang we have The Rise of Skywalker capping off 42 years of one of the most beloved and successful franchises of all time. The film puts The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams (Mission: Impossible III, Star Trek (2009 trilogy), Super 8) back in the director’s chair and Daisy Ridley (Scrawl, Murder on the Orient Express (2017), Ophelia), Adam Driver (Silence, BlacKkKlansman, Marriage Story), John Boyega (Attack the Block, Detroit, Pacific Rim: Uprising), and Oscar Isaac (Inside Llewyn Davis, Ex-Machina, X-Men: Apocalypse) reprise their roles as Rey, Kylo Ren, Finn, and Poe. 

Similar to 2018’s Solo and how it was originally meant to be directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller, The Rise of Skywalker was actually supposed to be directed by Jurassic World’s Colin Trevorrow and The Last Jedi writer and director Rian Johnson would write a story treatment for Episode IX, but they left the project due to creative differences and failing to deliver a satisfactory script despite several drafts written. So, for the comfort of the fans, Abrams has returned to the galaxy far, far away to finish what he had started back in 2015. 

So, does Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker deliver an Avengers: Endgame powerhouse of a finale to the Star Wars saga that overflows with action, emotion, and twists? Sort of. 

While the film doesn’t really take the franchise anywhere new, it delivers a satisfying and exciting conclusion that ties the loose ends and is bursting with fan loyalty from beginning to end. It isn’t perfect and doesn’t quite have the same emotional weight as Avengers: Endgame, but it’s still a fun installment of the Star Wars saga that doesn’t try to be anything more.

After the events of The Last Jedi, Kylo Ren (Driver) finds a Sith wayfinder and travels to the planet Exegol where he discovers that Sith Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid-Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Sleepy Hollow (1999), The Lost City of Z) is still alive and unveils an armada of Star Destroyers to Kylo and tells him that there is one person standing in their way of bringing order to the galaxy (Can you guess who?). Meanwhile, Rey (Ridley) is continuing her Jedi training under General Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher-The Blues Brothers, 30 Rock, Catastrophe, appearing through unreleased footage from The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi) and upon hearing of Palpatine’s return rounds up her crew consisting of defect Stormtrooper Finn (Boyega), X-Wing fighter pilot Poe (Isaac), Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo), C-3PO (Anthony Daniels), R2-D2, and BB-8 with help from Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams-Nighthawks, Batman, The Lego Batman Movie) and an old friend of Poe’s Zorii Bliss (Keri Russell-Felicity, Mission: Impossible III, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes), and come up with a plan to take the fight to the dark side and end the war once and for all. 

However, Rey soon realizes that the only way the Rebellion might be able to win the war is to confront Emperor Palpatine and face him the same way Luke Skywalker faced Darth Vader. Rey also discovers there may be a chance to save Kylo Ren from completely turning to the dark side if she can make him remember his past before being consumed by the Sith in a spectacular final stand. 

The film also stars Naomi Ackie (Lady Macbeth, The Corrupted, The End of the F***ing World) as Jannah, Domhnall Gleeson (Harry Potter franchise, Anna Karenina (2012), Ex-Machina) as General Hux, Richard E. Grant (Gosford Park, Logan, Can You Ever Forgive Me?) as Allegiant General Pryde, Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Us) as Maz Kanata, Kelly Marie Tran (CollegeHumor Originals, Sorry for Your Loss, The Croods 2) as Rose Tico, Mark Hamill (Batman: The Animated Series, Castle in the Sky, Child’s Play (2019)) as Luke Skywalker, and Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones franchise, Blade Runner/Blade Runner 2049, Air Force One) as Han Solo. 

Overall, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker may not be the finale the Star Wars saga deserves but it’s at least a fun ride that will hopefully make fans happy. Now, I’m only a casual fan and Star Wars while I enjoy the franchise, it never really grabbed me as much as something like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Dark Knight trilogy, or even Harry Potter so I have no idea how The Rise of Skywalker will sit with Star Wars purists, my guess is it will be more satisfying to them than The Last Jedi because it’s literally feature-length Star Wars fan-service being put on the big screen which is either its biggest strength or greatest flaw. 

I appreciate the film’s devotion to its fans, but it doesn’t really do anything new with the franchise, it’s almost like a bigger remake of Return of the Jedi than a conclusion to the current trilogy. Say what you will about The Last Jedi but to its credit the film tried to explore new territory in the Star Wars universe that hasn’t been shown before and sure it didn’t entirely work but I was able to appreciate the attempt that was made. 

This on the other hand overly caters to the fans and gives them an all-too familiar conclusion that we’ve already seen in the Star Wars franchise. It’s a basic Star Wars adventure but is capped off by an exciting final act and the dynamic between Rey and Kylo Ren is strong enough to keep it afloat despite the story’s lack of originality. 

Similar to The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is a nostalgic throwback to the saga’s glory days that may not be the most original but is still exciting and fun enough in its familiarity. It isn’t perfect, but it’s entertaining enough whether a die-hard fan or a casual fan like myself, grab your lightsaber, fly on in, and see for yourself.