Top 20 Films of Summer 2014

Top 20 Films of Summer 2014

1. Life Itself

2. Guardians of the Galaxy

3. Boyhood

4. Edge of Tomorrow

5. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

6. How to Train Your Dragon 2

7. Get on Up

8. X-Men: Days of Future Past

9. Snowpiercer

10. Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie

11. The Fault in our Stars

12. Dragonball Z: Battle of Gods

13. Chef

14. Love is Strange

15. 22 Jump Street

16. Neighbors

17. A Brony Tale

18. Cavalry

19. Godzilla

20. The Purge: Anarchy

Honorable Mentions: Lucy, Million Dollar Arm, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, The Hundred-Foot Journey, A Most Wanted Man, Maleficent

As Above/So Below review

AS ABOVE/SO BELOW:

BLAIR WITCH PROJECT GOES TO PARIS!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

Explorers go on a terrifying journey underneath the streets of Paris in As Above/So Below

            From director, John Erick Dowdle (Quarantine, Devil) comes his latest horror thriller film and the first film by Legendary Pictures under its new collaboration with Universal Studios, this time instead of people being in fear of sickness or a group of strangers stuck in an elevator together and one of them is the Devil (although that was an enjoyably bad movie), he’s taking the Blair Witch route and created a found footage film with documentary-style camera work and cheap scares. As Above/So Below, while not as memorable or frightening as horror films like The Blair Witch Project, Paranormal Activity, or the more recent film, The Conjuring, it’s at least an entertaining one and keeps you guessing all the way through.

            The film follows a group of explorers in Paris, France who discover a dark secret that is underneath the streets of Paris, an eternal home of countless souls and bones. While on their journey through the “City of Bones” they soon discover the secret of what the city of dead was meant to contain through hallucinations, flashbacks, moorages, and themselves slipping into madness.

            There are traps, passageways, and twists around every corner, leading up to a terrifying twist you will not be prepared for.

            Overall, As Above/So Below, despite some of its flaws and scares being predictable and obvious, it’s a unique, entertaining, and suspenseful horror film. Packed with shock gore, creative jump scares, and frightening twists around every corner, not to mention it’s a horror film that really keeps you thinking until the shocking finale.

            The visuals, while nothing spectacular are creative and often deliver a fright, especially the scenes where the explorers are running from falling ceilings, demons, possessed people, and even Death itself. It’s definitely better than the horror film that came out a couple months ago, Deliver Us From Evil, but that’s not saying much.

            It’s definitely more entertaining and suspenseful than Deliver Us From Evil, but I still prefer films like The Shining, Evil Dead, and The Conjuring. I felt the scares were more original and they were executed better, but that’s not exactly a bad thing.

            I’m glad I checked this movie out, of course I couldn’t resist because of the film’s trailers and commercials on TV. I had to know what all that commotion was about and now I know why, and it’s quite shocking.

            So if you’re a fan of classic horror, you’re probably not going to get much out of this movie, but if you enjoyed films like The Blair Witch Project, the Paranormal Activity franchise, or even Cloverfield, you’re bound to find something to enjoy or fear, but just remember, once you enter the movie, the only way out is down.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For review

SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR:

WHILE IT’S NO MASTERPIECE LIKE ITS 2005 PREDECESSOR, IT BOOTS PLENTY OF STYLIZED VIOLENCE, SEXY LADIES, AND A SEQUEL SO AWESOME AND VIOLENT, IT SHOULD BE A “SIN”!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: *** out of 4

DIMENSION FILMS AND MIRAMAX

(From left to right) Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Rosario Dawson, Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba, Mickey Rourke, Eva Green, and Josh Brolin taking a trip down Sin City in Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

            Director, Robert Rodriguez (El Mariachi trilogy, From Dusk Till Dawn, Machete) and Frank Miller, creator of the Sin City and 300 graphic novels return in the sequel to the 2005 hit, Sin City. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, like its predecessor, it has the distinct stylized appearance, intense violence, sexy strippers, and the return of fan favorites like Mickey Rourke (9 ½ Weeks, The Wrestler, Iron Man 2), Bruce Willis (Die Hard franchise, RED, G.I. Joe: Retaliation), Jessica Alba (Fantastic 4, Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer), and Rosario Dawson (Unstoppable, Shattered Glass, Grindhouse).

            However like most sequels, they’re never as memorable as their predecessors, this is one of them. But it’s not terrible, it kept me entertained all the way through, but the first film left more of an impact on me.

            The film begins with Marv (Rourke), sometime after the events of the segment from the first film, That Yellow Bastard, having severe amnesia after being shot out of a window and cannot remember anything that happened prior to his fall. He enviously watches Detective John Hartigan (Willis) reunite with his exotic dancer girlfriend, Nancy Callahan (Alba) and suddenly regains his conscious on a highway, overlooking the poor and run-down side of Sin City, The Projects, surrounded by several dead bodies and is determined to figure out how he got there.

            While that’s going on, a cocky gambler named Johnny (Joseph Gordon-Levitt-Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Looper) sets a priority to beat the most powerful man in the state, Senator Roark (Reprised by Powers Boothe-Red Dawn, Tombstone, Nixon) at his own game.

            Unfortunately Johnny soon realizes that he beat the wrong man at poker and a series of tragic events begin, Senator Roark has Johnny brutally beaten and eventually kills his girlfriend. After a painful surgery by Dr. Kroenig (Christopher Lloyd-Back to the Future trilogy, The Addams Family, Who Framed Roger Rabbit), Johnny is out for revenge and will not rest until Roark is killed for the mistake he made.

            The next segment takes place before The Big Fat Kill from the first film, and we find Dwight McCarthy (Josh Brolin-True Grit, Men in Black 3, replacing Clive Owen from the first movie) struggling with his inner demons and tries to maintain control until his ex-lover, Ava Lord (Eva Green-Casino Royale, Dark Shadows, 300: Rise of an Empire) returns, desiring his help to help her escape her abusive husband, billionaire Damien Lord and his indestructible bodyguard, Manute (Dennis Haysbert (The Allstate Guy)-24, Major League, The Boondocks).

            As soon as Dwight becomes attracted to Ava again, he soon discovers that her true feelings towards him are more sinister and diabolical than they look.

            Meanwhile after the events of That Yellow Bastard, we find Nancy struggling to cope with John’s sudden suicide and trying to drink her sorrows away. That is until she starts seeing and hearing John in hallucinations and starts advising her on how to take out the man who ruined her life, Senator Roark.

            After a makeover and scarring her face, Nancy is ready to take Roark down and avenge the death of her love.

            Overall, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is an entertaining sequel to a unique film, the stylized violence is over the top, gritty, sick, and awesome, the CG effects and film style is very appealing, and the 3D is pretty effective, you feel as though the blood, weapons, and vehicles are flying out at you. Many of the cast members reprising their roles from the first Sin City is very welcoming, because I can’t see anyone else besides Mickey Rourke portray Marv.

            The new characters can be very fun to watch as well, although it was pretty obvious that Eva Green’s character would be a villain, especially after her being casted as the antagonists in Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows and Zack Snyder’s 300: Rise of an Empire, but still she’s a very sexy and entertaining baddie.

            If you’re a fan of the first film or the original Sin City graphic novel, you’ll probably enjoy the sequel okay; just don’t expect it to be the Spider-Man 2 or Dark Knight of Robert Rodriguez sequels. It would be very hard to top the first Sin City film, but this one did have a lot of hard work and effort put into it, which makes it a decent follow-up, not to mention it’s better than the previous Rodriguez sequel, Machete Kills.

            It’s a sequel so violent and awesome, it should be a “Sin”.

            

Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie review

ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD: THE MOVIE:

THE ONLY MOVIE YOU’LL SEE THIS YEAR THAT WON’T BE A SHITLOAD OF FUCK!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: **** out of 4

CINEMASSACRE

(From left to right) The Nerd, Cooper Folly, Mandi, and Dr. Zandor on a journey to the New Mexico desert to review the worst game ever made in Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie

            ASS!

            Everyone’s favorite foul-mouthed, Rolling Rock drinking, game shitting Nerd is back and this time, he hits the big screen in the long awaited Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie, based on the hit Cinemassacre Angry Video Game Nerd web-series. As far as independent films go, this may very well be my favorite in the category, the project was put on Kickstarter and die-hard fans of the Nerd donated money to bring James Rolfe’s dream to the screen.

            And no, it isn’t an hour long review of a video game nor is it a compilation of reviews leading up to the feature presentation, no it has a story, and a very clever one to boot, homages to pop culture (video games, zombie movies, Japanese monster movies, etc.), very likable characters accompanying the Nerd, and many cameos, references, and gags that will make you laugh HARD until you puke Rolling Rock, it’s basically the perfect movie for a nerd to enjoy.

            The film follows the Angry Video Game Nerd (James Rolfe) trying to get over his phobia of playing a certain video game that many people have considered the worst game ever made, the Atari 2600 video game based on the Steven Spielberg classic, E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. After a customer at a video game store that the Nerd works at informs him about the Atari landfill in the New Mexico desert where the Video Game Crash occurred and several unsold copies of Atari games were buried and became a national icon.

            So after so many requests from his loyal fans, the Nerd sets off on an extraordinary adventure to New Mexico to find the landfill of buried games and perhaps finally getting around to reviewing the E.T. video game. However after a misunderstanding, a top secret military force monitors the Nerd and his friends, Mandi (Sarah Glendening) and video game store co-worker, Cooper Folly (Jeremy Suarez) and thinks that the trio is looking for extra terrestrials in Area 51, and what follows is all the chaos we can expect from the AVGN and plenty of surprises.

            Overall, Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie is a very welcoming film to have this year, especially after all the big budget CG Hollywood films that keep coming out. Granted the film did have some CG effects but a lot of the effects were practical, animatronics, models, and guys in rubber suits that resemble a giant monster.

            The film knows exactly how and when to use its many effects and the majority of them get a big laugh. Besides the over the top effects, the humor and gags themselves are absolutely hysterical, of course we have the Nerd’s traditional rants about shitty games and laughably intense reactions, not to mention there are several gags and jokes that pay homage to popular movies and video games, most notably E.T. and Godzilla. Plus a certain joke that references the 1993 movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, I won’t dare give it away, but if you see the movie, you will laugh your ass off.

            I guess my only issue with the film is that James’ long time companions, Mike Matei and Kyle Justin aren’t involved in the film very much, though it is nice to know that they were put in the movie, but it makes sense since we have our new protagonists.

            The new characters Mindi and Cooper are very likable companions for the Nerd on his big journey, they’re both very funny and are loyal friends to the Nerd who will see it to the end. Not to mention there is a madhouse of cameos throughout the film like Pat the NES Punk, the late Justin Carmical (better known as Jewario), Lloyd Kaufman, the creator of The Toxic Avenger, and the Nostalgia Critic, to name a few.

            This is like the Guardians of the Galaxy of independent films, but it’s a shame that it only has a limited release in theaters, so if you’re a fan of “The Fucking Nerd” and happen to have access to a theatrical screening of the movie, definitely check it out, you will not be disappointed, but if you don’t have access to a theatrical showing, do not worry, you will be able to pick up the movie on DVD by the end of the month, trust me, whether it’s in theaters or on DVD, watch this “Nerdy” blockbuster of a great and refreshing movie about an internet celebrity reviewing a shitty game.

CONGLATURATION, YOU JUST READ THROUGH THIS ENTIRE MOVIE REVIEW, NOW GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles review

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES:

WHILE NOT THE MOST FAITHFUL FILM ADAPTATION IN THE FRANCHISE, IT’S A BLAST OF STUPID, MINDLESS, TURTLE FUN!

By Nico Beland

Movie Review: ** 1/2 out of 4

PARAMOUNT PICTURES AND NICKELODEON MOVIES

(From left to right) Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael coming out of their shells as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

            COWABUNGA!

            From director, Jonathan Liebesman (The Killing Room, Battle: Los Angeles, Wrath of the Titans) and producer, Michael Bay (Transformers franchise) comes the latest film adaptation of the enormously popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. It felt like it’s been a decade since the last theatrically released Turtle film, TMNT back in 2007, and now we have this new film under the Nickelodeon label, which also currently owns the rights to the entire franchise and the recent animated series.

            Megan Fox (Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Jennifer’s Body) stars as news reporter in New York City, April O’ Neil, minus the yellow jumpsuit, which makes sense after the whole Michael Bay incident during Transformers: Dark of the Moon’s production. Her job is to report all the crime going on in the city, involving a group of assassins known as the Foot Clan, led by the grating supervillain, The Shredder (Tohoru Masamune), a trained samurai in a suit of armor, with knives and other blades in it.

            April eventually discovers that someone is fighting back the Foot Clan, the anamorphic reptiles known as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Four brother turtles who live down in the sewers of New York City, named after the great Renaissance painters, Computer nerd, Donatello (voiced and motion capture by Jeremy Howard-Galaxy Quest, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Malcolm in the Middle), Child at heart, Michelangelo (voiced and motion capture by Noel Fisher-Final Destination 2, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, X-Men: Evolution), Tough and aggressive, Raphael (voiced and motion capture by Alan Richton-Fired Up!, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Smallville), and their leader, Leonardo (voiced by Johnny Knoxville-Jackass, Men in Black II) love the following things, Fighting bad guys, practicing Ninjutsu, making pop culture references, and of course, pizza.

            When the Turtles realize a human being has spotted them, they are ordered to locate April and bring her into the sewers, by their teacher and father, a talking rat named Splinter (voiced by Tony Shalhoub-Monk, Men in Black, Pain & Gain and motion capture by Danny Woodburn-Seinfeld, Employee of the Month, Watchmen) to explain to her their backstory.

            It turns out April’s father was a scientist who was working on a cure for a deadly disease and he created toxic ooze that contains the cure. We all know about animal testing right? Well, her father, along with another scientist, Eric Sacks (William Fichtner-Heat, Crash, The Lone Ranger) were testing the cure on four baby turtles and a rat, and after a freak accident April, as a young girl takes the turtles and the rat out of the burning laboratory and takes them to the sewers and in time the ooze’s side effects cause the turtles and rat to mutate into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Splinter.

            Meanwhile, The Shredder and Eric Sacks have a diabolical plan to capture the Turtles and extract the ooze from their blood to unleash a deadly chemical substance to wipe out the city. So, it’s up to the Turtles, Splinter, April, and her companion, Vernon Fenwick (Will Arnett-Blades of Glory, The Lego Movie, Arrested Development) to stop The Shredder and Sacks before it’s too late.

            Overall, this new take of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is undeniably flawed, stupid, and rather unnecessary, but at least the film is entertaining and kept my interest all the way through. However at times it felt like a remake of the original 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, like the original film it was a darker and edgier take on the Turtles story, but of course they still had plenty of silly Turtle humor thrown in there.

            The CG animation and Motion Capture on the Turtles and Splinter does look impressive and gives them a distinctive appearance, but the Jim Henson animatronics from the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze had a strange charm and were more entertaining to watch, basically it’s what you would get if you merge the Turtles from TMNT 2007 with the live-action setting and characters from the 90s films, just add “Bayhem”.

            One very positive thing I had to say about the film is the new Shredder, they really re-invented the character and this time he’s far more intimidating than The Shredder from the original movies and cartoon series, it almost felt like a live-action version of The Shredder from the 2003 4Kids cartoon.

            Now even though I liked parts of this new Turtles movie, I would not consider it a faithful adaptation of the original series, if you’re expecting an accurate Turtles movie out of this, you should just stick with the 1990 film, it’s closer to what you’re looking for. But if you have young kids who are fans of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, they might enjoy it, it had some amusing moments and it might be fun for a family outing.

            Also if you’re fans of Michael Bay’s Transformers movies and just want to see a movie with stuff blowing up and cheesy dialogue, you’re bound to enjoy it, thankfully it wasn’t Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III bad, but if you want a movie that’s really smart and really funny and action-packed, you should just go see Guardians again.